Tuesday, May 22, 2012

It’s Just “Caddy Shack” To Me

 Decisions. Decisions!

This was my fourth, and possibly last, week smacking that little white sucker all over freaking place, then back again. Plain and simple, I stink at golf. Maybe I’d be a little better if I tried harder, but I don’t believe I have the desire (or the skill?).

Let’s weigh it out, shall we?

-       Breathtaking mornings spent outside walking hills
-       3 hours knocking around with two very close friends talking all kinds of crazy s#$t
-       Swearing slides right by
-       Bar Cheese on Ritz Crackers at the Halfway House plus hot coffee ALWAYS equals a breakfast of champions
-       Using my clubs to practice the baton twirling learned at summer camp when young
-       Working on the tan albeit causing strange lines
-       Easy to say, “Hole over! Give me a 10.”
-       Cute caddies

-       Don’t really care for the sport
-       Friends give me sad puppy dog eyes when I say “but I just don’t wanna.”
-       Sucks to suck
-       Clothes are not attractive, AND no one looks really good in them except “Cookie” who’s a size 2 and wears short skirts (she looks good)
-       And don’t get me started on the U-G-L-Y SHOES
-       Takes up way too much time
-       Diminishes my math skills. I can subtract 5 from 9 yet “How many more holes?”
-       Makes people crabby and whine or maybe just me
-       Elicits an unfocused feeling when in reality focus is just fine
-       Not a beach but too much water and sand
-       Balls act as water seeking missiles, see above

Did I already mention I totally suck?

And if you love this sport, more power to you. I do not share your view.


TMWHickman said...

Golf is very definitely a good walk spoiled! It would never be a good idea to give me a weapon and frustrate me more than necessary...

Gina said...

As you probably can guess, I would rather spend my time on an awesome bike ride, exercising or pulling my finger nails out one by one. Done!