Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Just Write: Yoga and How Do You Take Up Space?

I have been intensely pensive lately. Probably too much so, if truth be told.

I derive questions, mostly about life, from a few sources.
One such place is yoga. That is, yoga taught by an intelligent, and thought provoking teacher.

Okay, okay! Some of you may think a yogi’s verbiage is a bunch of cheesy crap, and that their soothing, whisper-like intonation is fake. Depending on the teacher, or my mood, it can be. Distracts me, too.

Not today, though.

Anna, yogi extraordinaire and former professional ballet dancer, provided background as to why the postures, sequences and flow, would be just so, explaining her planning usually has something  to do with what she’s thinking about or struggling with or working on in her own life.

Today’s question: How do you take up space?

She didn’t tell us what to think, or even what she thought except to say she feels her space must be filled with movement. (Hint: This is NOT usually my case.) During our class we moved through several choreographed sequences, repeating each and every one at least three times to settle in, and get a rhythm She posed questions like: Is your space being filled by thoughts or movement? Are you constantly making small adjustments or are you static? Are you exploring your depths or resting?

I wasn’t necessarily thinking about my physical space the whole time, though mostly I was in those moments. I was concentrating on what I could physically do. How could I improve this posture? What felt loose? Tight? Strong? Weak?

My consistent goal in yoga is to stay present, in the moment, and prevent the drifting of thoughts to a place off my mat. Push everything out!
There weren’t expectations of answers, or anything, during Lotus pose or Warrior Two or Dancer. At that moment. She set the questions out there for us like “food for thought”, a whisper thought to take home in a doggie bag for later. 

It was an interesting exercise. Letting my mind touch lightly on the questions she posed as my body simultaneously moved through her queues for strenuous postures. The answers came fleetingly like the sweat that ran down my nose then dripped off it’s tip. My mind and body were transitioning from one thought/position to the next. 

I felt strong. I felt challenged. I felt successful. 

In the moment! On the mat. Fully present.

Of course, she was alluding to the bigger picture as well. Maybe even more so. Has to be because we were only in the sweat box for 60 minutes! As I walked home, however, the question marinated, and I started equating “space” with time. My thoughts drifted over to how I spend my time in the space I occupy. 

So how do I fill my space (off the mat)? Well that depends. I alternate between being proudly productive or happily lost in thought or extremely time wasting. With people I love, others I don’t know well, and the occasional stranger.

Who decides what is a “properly” filled space? Do I? Does He? Does someone else like my husband? 

These are just questions. Things I am thinking about today. Things I will probably think about tomorrow too unless I am posited questions from one of my “other” sources. I am all questions it seems with a smaller percentage of answers. But I enjoy thinking too much. Sometimes.

What I do know for sure is that I love yoga because it provides challenge, both mentally and physically. It is stimulating. It creates thinking time on and off the mat. And these things are (not uniquely) important to my well-being*. 

*(Editor’s Note: In an effort to additionally increase my well-being, I am currently ingesting a juice-like beverage I picked up at Whole Foods this morning. It is called Alternative Fuel whose label states, “We squeeze it fresh right in our store. Made With Fresh…celery, broccoli, parsley, cabbage, wheatgrass, lettuce, spinach, kale and cucumber.” To borrow a famous phrase from Lucille Ball, “Tastes just like candy!” YUMMERS!!!)

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Yeah Write Garbleblaster: Scorched Earth


“If I actually did do it, we’d still be in this carbon-copy place. Interesting. I could have, but I didn’t. If it comes down to believing a slut over me, only scorched earth remains here. And that sucks. Because I loved you.”

Head over to Yeah Write by clicking on the badge above to check out all the micro-fiction going on at that place. It's where all the fun it!!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Drain the Tub I'm Drowning

The last drop drips down the drain,
finally giving you what you’ve wanted; 

me leaving you alone, 

(Hope I can do this
forever thing.
So infinite, it is.)

Because anything one-sided is always less 
interesting, enjoyable, or satisfying.

And I’m tired.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Teaser Tuesday (Books): September 16, 2014

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!
I am currently reading Adultery by Paulo Coelho (of The Alchemist fame (I guess I’m telling you this to justify the racy title of this book)). I won’t go into a detailed plot description here because I don’t know if I am supposed to, or not. You can check it out on Goodreads. I opened the book to page 200, and I wish I would not have gone ahead of where I am because now I have a gigantic clue as to what will happen in the next 45 pages. RATS!!!
Here are the teasers from that page:
“If my man wasn’t desired and pursued by these sluts, then he must be completely uninteresting.”
“My husband seems very interested in Marianne’s reply and asks her to talk a bit more about the arousal she gets from knowing about the extramarital affairs.” (YIKES!)

I am a little more than halfway through, and really like it.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

The Skeleton Twins: Movie Review

Since we are Catholic, mass “counts” for us if we go at 5:00pm on Saturdays. Never mind the loop hole sentiment, or screams of “Technicality!!!”, it works, and leaves us with Sunday mornings free. We often use them for movie dates. 

This morning, we saw a brand spanking new movie called The Skeleton Twins starring several traditionally hilarious actors like Kristen Wiig (my girl crush) and Bill Hader from SNL, Luke Wilson, and Ty Burrell (of Modern Family fame). Each is funny with impeccable comedic timing in most everything in which they star, just not in this movie. 

Don’t get me wrong, there are humorous exchanges and interactions. This movie is not about that though.

It is about siblings who were once close, grew apart, then are reunited under-less-than-desirable circumstances. It’s about trying to live your life. It’s about hurting, and hurting others. How parents, or other adults, can really fuck up kids in horrific, insensitive, and destructive ways by the decisions they make, or their actions, then it is up to those adult children to puzzle piece their lives back together again as best as they can. It’s about making mistakes, forgiving, and fucking up again. Try and wrap that up, and slap on a bow. Yet somehow, they share laughs. And we strangely laughed with them. 

The dialog was surprisingly intimate, and I felt like a “fly on the wall” observing these obviously sensitive and deeply connected siblings. They had an “us against the world” things going on. Though at one point, I was sick to my stomach, uncomfortable, with a strong desire to flee. Maybe I am being dramatic but it is how I felt for a brief time.

It is an intense movie with extremely strong, and disturbing subject matter. I don’t want to say too much so as not to spoil, but I found a review in Forbes magazine that describes it as “comedy and tragedy in perfect proportions”. In my opinion, the proportions are debatable (it was more dramatic to me), but there are both in this movie, and I highly recommend it (so long as you know there are trigger points in it as well).

So why did I stay? 

I stayed because I liked this film despite the bout(s) of nausea. Maybe because of it. Maybe I loved it. Yeah, I think I did.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Sunday Questions = All I Can Manage Right Now

Okay, so this isn't really "writing" like I said I would be doing. It's answering. It's easy. It's easy to do on my phone, which is currently all I have as a means for blogging these days. Over at sundaystealing.blogspot.com, you'll find the list of questions for which I must find answers.

A. What are your favorite smells? Chocolate and roast turkey (or stuffed turducken). Peonies and jasmine. Babies and a soft waft of a man's cologne.

B. Can you go a whole day without caffeine? Of course, but the question is are you sure you want that?

C. Who knows more about you than anyone else? Tough one. Probably one of my oldest, closest friends who knows everything I did when I was younger. My husband knows all my bad habits and temperaments that no one else sees.

D. What song did you last listen to? Wake Up by NF. A friend turned me on to it earlier this week.

E. Do you have a crush on anybody? Every day. Usually someone different though.

F. Do you like the Beatles? Yes.

G. If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose? If you consider black a color then that's my choice. If not, blue.

H. Do you cook often? I cook at least four nights a week. I enjoy cooking when I have the time. Actually, I should be cooking some chicken wings right this minute, but that would have required me to get off the couch and go to the market for ingredients. I have only managed to go to yoga today. That's it.

I. What was the last film you watched? Did you like it? We have a very large theater in our new neighborhood just two streets away. We saw "Chef" this week, and enjoyed it very much (even though it was a bit predictable).

J. Can you sew? I just scrunched up my face. Yes, I can and have, but I don't.

K. What's you favorite fruit? Strawberries with a dusting of brown sugar. Or tomatoes.

L. Are you health conscious? Very much, but not fanatically so.

M. What is your middle initial? M

N. Do you curse a lot? Constantly (in my head)! Occasionally they slip out. Or when I'm with certain friends, they naturally spring free.

O. When was the last time you had a beer? I love beer, but I haven't had one in a long while. Can't say the same for wine except that I love it too.

P. Are you a pro sports fan? I like pro football and hockey.

Q. Is there a certain food you crave for no reason? Peanut butter (Skippy reduced fat)

R. What was the last book you purchased? Carsick by John Waters

S. Where was your last vacation? On a lake in the middle of nowhere.

T. Do you share fries? I share everything. I'm superb at sharing.

U. Girls, when was the last time you went out without a bra? Guys, when was the last time you went shirtless in public? Today at yoga because, technically, there is not a bra in a workout top. But if you mean free and easy without ANY support, I can't remember but YOU would if you saw it.

V. Did you ever play seven minutes in heaven? Most everyone who went through puberty in the 70's played it in some form or fashion.

W. What's the longest you've gone "unplugged"? Recently, two weeks. But growing up when I did, I could actually, and accurately,  say half my life.

X. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen? Prior to breaking three vertebrae in my neck two years ago, I had never before broken a bone.

Y. How do you like you eggs? Over easy.

Z. What was your last argument about and with who? We sold our house, packed up, and moved on august. We were both short tempered and taxed, so it would have been with my husband about something stupid relating to the move. Once we very quickly acknowledged the source of the argument (stress from packing up a household of 22 years and displacing  ourselves and stuff), we moved on in seconds and vowed not to let it come between us.

I tried to recognize the source of these questions above, but blogging from my only available device (my phone since I know longer have an accessible computer, makes the process more challenging) So here I go again. The source is: sundaystealing.blogspot.com

That's it! Off to Whole Foods for ingredients to make game day hot wings, which I do very, very well if I say so myself! The Bears home opener is tomorrow. Holla!!!! (I wrote this yesterday so that might make more sense here, and the Bears, of course, lost, but the day was awesome!!!)