Be the Aloha You Wish to See in the World

Yoga brings me special presents. Not every day, but it gives me something to grab onto each and every time.

Supta Baddha Konasana, or Reclining Bound Angle Pose, is  a challenging and often beginning pose meant to open up your hips. The hips hold a world of tension in the body, and it is difficult to think about anything but pain when your knees are splayed such as they are. At least for me.

So yesterday, I felt fortunate the theme of my morning practice, “Aloha”, seeped into my consciousness at all. Yes, it generally means hello and goodbye in Hawaii, and when I imagine it, it feels like it should have a paper umbrella floating in it. But I am talking about the deeper meaning of the word. It really sunk in. Especially now. And at this time of the year.

Love.

Affection.

Peace.

Passion.

Mercy.

I could look it up, certainly, and find different definitions. I’m satisfied with this one today. I want to be the "Aloha".

Yoga Quotes Aren't Always Cheesy

I pointed out to you the stars (the moon) 

and all you saw was the tip of my finger.

Sukuma ( Tanzania )

(The post below could be residual effects of the Facebook Positivity Challenge).

The above quote was recited at the beginning of my yoga class this morning during meditation. Before you think I am getting all yogi or really weird, please think about it.

Did you?

It is so meaty it stuck to my ribs.

To me, this doesn’t mean look far away into the future, but look past my nose-tip. Open my eyes, silly. See something, anything!

So many time I move robotically through my day handling routine tasks with less than moderate enthusiasm failing to recognize anything meaningful or beautiful or sweet. By then, the day has slipped away. 

[Conversation with myself]

"It is icy cold here today." 

"UGH!" 

"Though, guess what?" 

"What?" 

"The sky is the most amazing shade of blue. Almost summer blue. It’s as simple as a warmer coat, scarf, and maybe some ear warmers. You could stay inside all warm and cozy, read a little, and do your work. But, nah! What’s a little cold weather between friends anyway?"

I have a friend coming in town today that expects the chipper, fun, and enthusiastic version of me. And that's who she's going to get!!!

Let’s see the stars today.

Is Providing Honest Opinions the Same as Having a Big Mouth?

I love October, and not just because I was born in this month. 

I love the feeling of change in the air. There is a freshness and crispness like no other season. It makes me think of chili and chocolate (though chocolate is always on my mind) and pumpkins. The sun glows differently too. Lower, and it feels softer on my face somehow.

The leaves are slow to change this year, it seems. Maybe because we’ve enjoyed some Indian Summer days these last few weeks. Hands down, watching the trees burn bright is one of my very favorite things.

Most of all, October signifies change to me. Do you feel it too?

I have noticed a change in myself recently. I am doing something, on occasion, that I never used to do. When asked for it, I am giving my (honest) opinion. And I am not doing it all the time. Baby steps.

In times past, my response to a question like “How did you like it?” might result in an enthusiastic gushing if I liked/loved whatever it was. If I had a negative opinion, I would respond, “It was good.” or “Fine.” Something extremely simple.

[If you are sick of hearing me talk about yoga, bear with me for a minute because I am baring my feelings here, and it is part of my change, I promise.]

After every class I take, which is usually 5 a week, the instructor asks for feedback. I sure hope they are asking because they really want to know because I have started to provide an honest assessment of how I felt about the class. After all, didn’t we just spent 60 minutes listening to him/her instructing us?

I am diplomatic. I choose words carefully. I believe in “it’s not what you say (usually), but how you say it (my kids are still tired of me relying on this phrase, though it is so very true)”. Plus, I am not a mean spirited person.

My problem is…

I think I got someone fired for giving my opinion. Well not fired fired, but removed as an instructor of the more advanced level Monday morning class. I confidentially provided honest and constructive feedback to the studio manager when she specifically asked what I thought of the class I’d just finished. Very nicely, but firmly I gave my honest opinion, which was the teacher in question did not instruct the class to the level expected. Not even close.

The instructor has never been on the studio schedule again. I feel more than a little crappy about it. My hope is she is at another studio teaching the level with which she is more suited. Still, I feel crummy.

I am going to continue taking baby steps toward speaking up when asked for my opinion when it’s negative, and I haven’t figured out a really good way to apply this change outside of Core Power Yoga in my “real” life, in particular, because I never want to hurt the feeling of those I care about. And forget about giving unsolicited advice. I will just keep quiet.

Would/do people ask for feedback if they really don’t want it? I am afraid of this…

I Just Wrote My 500th Post!!!

And I didn't even realize it! I mean the one before this one!!!

Writing has been slow going and complicated for me lately. For a lot of reasons, but mostly due to lack of time (and the disappearance of "Creative Gina" in favor of "Practical Gina"). As you know from yesterday's post, I have immersed myself in the world of yoga. It is time consuming, but it makes me feel good, even better than any other form of exercise or meditation. It has cleared my head, and I needed that to happen. It feels nice to smile more times a day than I remember. I even have deep smile lines now, DAMMIT!!!! Is there a magic pill for wrinkles?

My goal is to write at least 50 more posts before the end of the year, then hit the writing hard core January 1st. Look out!!!

Just Write: Yoga and How Do You Take Up Space?

I have been intensely pensive lately. Probably too much so, if truth be told.

I derive questions, mostly about life, from a few sources.

One such place is yoga. That is, yoga taught by an intelligent, and thought provoking teacher.

Okay, okay! Some of you may think a yogi’s verbiage is a bunch of cheesy crap, and that their soothing, whisper-like intonation is fake. Depending on the teacher, or my mood, it can be. Distracts me, too.

Not today, though.

Anna, yogi extraordinaire and former professional ballet dancer, provided background as to why the postures, sequences and flow, would be just so, explaining her planning usually has something  to do with what she’s thinking about or struggling with or working on in her own life.

Today’s question: How do you take up space?

She didn’t tell us what to think, or even what she thought except to say she feels her space must be filled with movement. (Hint: This is NOT usually my case.) During our class we moved through several choreographed sequences, repeating each and every one at least three times to settle in, and get a rhythm She posed questions like: Is your space being filled by thoughts or movement? Are you constantly making small adjustments or are you static? Are you exploring your depths or resting?

I wasn’t necessarily thinking about my physical space the whole time, though mostly I was in those moments. I was concentrating on what I could physically do. How could I improve this posture? What felt loose? Tight? Strong? Weak?

My consistent goal in yoga is to stay present, in the moment, and prevent the drifting of thoughts to a place off my mat. Push everything out!

There weren’t expectations of answers, or anything, during Lotus pose or Warrior Two or Dancer. At that moment. She set the questions out there for us like “food for thought”, a whisper thought to take home in a doggie bag for later. 

It was an interesting exercise. Letting my mind touch lightly on the questions she posed as my body simultaneously moved through her queues for strenuous postures. The answers came fleetingly like the sweat that ran down my nose then dripped off it’s tip. My mind and body were transitioning from one thought/position to the next. 

I felt strong. I felt challenged. I felt successful. 

In the moment! On the mat. Fully present.

Of course, she was alluding to the bigger picture as well. Maybe even more so. Has to be because we were only in the sweat box for 60 minutes! As I walked home, however, the question marinated, and I started equating “space” with time. My thoughts drifted over to how I spend my time in the space I occupy. 

So how do I fill my space (off the mat)? Well that depends. I alternate between being proudly productive or happily lost in thought or extremely time wasting. With people I love, others I don’t know well, and the occasional stranger.

Who decides what is a “properly” filled space? Do I? Does He? Does someone else like my husband? 

These are just questions. Things I am thinking about today. Things I will probably think about tomorrow too unless I am posited questions from one of my “other” sources. I am all questions it seems with a smaller percentage of answers. But I enjoy thinking too much. Sometimes.

What I do know for sure is that I love yoga because it provides challenge, both mentally and physically. It is stimulating. It creates thinking time on and off the mat. And these things are (not uniquely) important to my well-being*. 

*(Editor’s Note: In an effort to additionally increase my well-being, I am currently ingesting a juice-like beverage I picked up at Whole Foods this morning. It is called Alternative Fuel whose label states, “We squeeze it fresh right in our store. Made With Fresh…celery, broccoli, parsley, cabbage, wheatgrass, lettuce, spinach, kale and cucumber.” To borrow a famous phrase from Lucille Ball, “Tastes just like candy!” YUMMERS!!!)

Reading This Week, You?

Showing at my house in 25 minutes! YIKES! This will be quick.

What am I currently reading?

I am reading The Vacationers by Emma Straub. It’s good so far, but not yet great. It has taken 100 pages to get into the story/characters (and I don’t like that with so many books in my “to read” pile). I feel it will be interesting…soon?

I am listening to Love in the Time of Cholera and LOVING the hell out of it. I have read several books lately by Latino authors. Maybe I just “get” them. It is romantic, extremely well written, and at times humorous. Although, I don’t think I could handle unrequited love for more than 50 years as this character has.

What did I recently finish?

The Light Between Oceans by M. L. Stedman. I gave it three stars on Goodreads. I liked it. I didn’t love it. But it makes the idea, for me, of living in a lighthouse very intriguing.

Summer House with Swimming Pool by Herman Koch. I really liked it. I immensely enjoyed his last book (dark, dark, dark) The Dinner.

What will I read next?

Who knows? What about you?

Beds, dishes, fluffing? Check, check, check!

Off to hot yoga!

It's Like Going to a Voluntary Torture Chamber

You know what Sunday means to me...stream of consciousness writing linked up at Jana's Thinking Place. Jana's totally optional prompt this weekend is "It's like going to..."

I will try to explain my current obsession in 5 short minutes, in bursts of unedited writing. So here goes:

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It’s like going to…

A voluntary “torture chamber” and losing your mind for 90 minutes.

It feels like Death Valley in July when it’s really only 105 degrees.

It smells like the most disgusting pair of boy’s gym shoes.

It’s feels like your heart will never stop racing uncontrollably or your head won’t shake the dizzies.

It’s the same no matter where you go or whom you do it with. It will be exactly the same every single time. You know what it’s like and you do it anyway.

It’s like bathing in your own sweat. The kind that runs down your face, past your eyes, into your mouth. Drips off every fingertip. The end of your nose. You want to wipe the sweat. That’s the challenge but if you don’t challenge yourself, you can’t improve.

You think there's no way you’ll wear a little bra and skin-tight shorts like the girl in front of you! But now you will because it makes perfect sense.

It’s like going into fight-or-flight mode and all you can think about is escaping so you push that out of my mind.

“This is simply a fidget.” You say to yourself. “So don’t fidget then.” You answer. Quiet the internal chatter.

Mind over matter, mind over matter, mind over matter.

And eventually the transformation happens.

You start looking forward to class and the chance to reflect alone for 90 minutes.  You want to go! You embrace this new addiction you’ve tried to hate but you can’t hate something that feels so good in it’s completion even though you dread every moment leading up to opening that door.

It’s a love you want to hate but you don’t.

It’s Bikram yoga.

It’s like going into a “torture chamber” that’s never felt so good. When it's over.

Happiness, Harmony, Yoga - Stream of Consciousness Sunday

Over at All Things Fadra we do this five minute Stream of Consciousness thing on Sundays. Here is my Sunday stream. It's jumbled, I know, and unedited but it's supposed to be. Also, outside of my five minutes, I added the picture, caption and source.** So really it took me 6 minutes.

*****************************************************

So many things, people, quotes are touching me lately, especially lately.

I am not much of a Facebooker,might check it a few times a week to see if there are any birthdays I should be remembering, I don’t tweet, I don’t PIN. I’m slightly disconnected from all that. I don't know if that's good or bad or anything at all. I don't even know why I bring it up now except to explain how I use my computer time.

I suppose I spend most of my time writing stuff. The majority of what I write, like most bloggersI'm guessing, NEVER ends up out there for public viewing. It is, to me, a major release. Some of it is good stuff, some of it inappropriate only for certain eyes and a lot of it just not very good writing. Just stuff. My stuff.

But I did go on Facebook today and one of my friends shared this. And I love it! 


I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT! 


I love it so much that I’m going to get back into yoga this very minute, or as soon as Monday comes, so I can achieve this sometime... soon. First things first..work onbackbend. this is a quad/hip flexor killer, btw. My guy doesn't do yoga and isn't the least bit flexible so I'll have to figure out something. 

As I perused the snippets of pictures and quotes right in front of my eyes (I haven’t even begun to dig yet and I will), I was again, touched.

I can’t wait to spend more time reading this peaceful Facebook page. God, I hope friends don’t see me on there and start IMing me. It feels weird, like spying.

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**The caption spoke to me as well. It is from the Facebook page “2012 Healing the Planet”

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity 

but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony."

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Packing It In

I'm not packing it all in. It won't fit. I mean in my day and in my suitcase as I prepare to leave this icy cold tundra for a glorious beach and adventure!

I packed in a sweaty session first thing this morning. Before someone thinks I mean one thing, I meant an hour spin class, my favorite type of exercise hands down. "Paying the piper", which is what my friend Susie and I call it when we travel partnerless, will come later today. Another friend calls it leaving a memory. In any case, one must always properly thank your vacation sponsor!

Bathing suits, check. Personal grooming for said bathing suit, check (OUCH!). Yoga pants and workout clothes, check. Flashlight, Kindle, Two bottles of fine red wine, check, check, and triple check! Toiletries, got'em.

Hair dryer and make up...nope. Not that kind of place. Amansala is an au naturale, eco-friendly place. I don't mean it's a nudist retreat but being smack on the beach means that the power and plumbing systems are pretty fragile (don't flush the paper). Also, who would we be wearing makeup for anyway.

Shoot...flight check in, passport, chargers, cash!

That's about all I need.

The only things left to do...pay that piper and head to the city for a Chicago Bulls game and close the suitcase!

I better get going.