Friday, November 30, 2012

Trifecta: The Family Blacksheep

For the weekend challenge, Trifecta is asking us to write exactly 33 words about rebellion and/or revolt.  Interpret it as we want but keep it to 33 words.

A roar rumbled up the driveway.

“He’s herrrrre.”

There sat my new boyfriend, handsome on his Harley, prepared to whisk me away.

“You’re NOT getting on it.”

“Watch me.”

‘Twas our last date.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Time I Googled Indecent Exposure

Courtesy of Mama Kat’s Prompts this week, here is the one I chose.

4.) Tell us about the last thing you Google searched…what did you learn?

Please don’t judge me based on what I’m going to tell you. I had reasons.

I was writing a piece of fiction yesterday (not my forte) set in the mid-80’s, a time I happen to know quite well. I was living the Yuppie (Young Urban Professional) lifestyle in the City (Chicago, not New York) and the livin’ was “easy” if you know what I mean. The 80’s were all about MTV, rock music, smashing Disco records and carefree lifestyles, among other things.

But I needed some additional facts to support my plotline.

My question was…

If someone were caught in a park in various stages of undress, doing something that should probably (should be) done in a place of privacy, what, most likely, might the legal ramifications for them be?

Of course, I turned to Google and typed in:

“Is having sex in a park illegal”

The answer is YES. It is called “indecent exposure”.

Then, I wanted to find out what it meant exactly and legally.

So I Googled:

“indecent exposure”

I discovered it’s a Class A Misdemeanor and would require a court appearance more than likely. I also found out if you get caught three times indecently exposed, it becomes a Class A Felony. Apparently, some people don’t learn their lesson the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd times. Otherwise, why would there be a law for it?

Having the facts, I began writing.

Only later did it occur to me that “Big Brother” tracks these kinds of searches, doesn’t he? Someone might think I’m contemplating doing the nasty in a park somewhere. Or worse that I did do something extremely inappropriate (which I never do by the way) and had reason for concern. 

There are some alternative, and scary, definitions for the term which have nothing to do with what I was doing. Was I going to get spammed by raunchy stuff like the time years ago when I, seemingly forever, got "enlarge your penis" emails? 

It boiled down to me beginning to worry about my search history. It’s not like I was surfing for porn but it kind of felt that way and it reminded me of the time about 6 years ago when I saw “naked boobs” in Google history. Hubby was not the culprit; he doesn’t have to Google them. My recently turned teen turned out to be the mortified yet naive criminal that time.

I was worried something similar would happen to me.

So I erased all search history from yesterday. It is a good thing because my husband sat down at the computer last night to do some Internet shopping.

I was NOT in the mood to explain anything. 

Mama’s Losin’ It

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Reading In The Park: Yeah Write Speakeasy

“You know, I don’t even remember his name – and I’m okay with that.” she said, lying to her roommate once again.

Natalie’s summer routine on a Saturday afternoon was always the same. After sleeping off a late night clubbing, she’d bike up to Montrose Harbor to her quiet spot, which one could get to only by bike or foot. She felt intensely possessive of her peaceful place as rarely anyone else was ever there but her.

She brought just three things in her basket…a book, a beer and a blanket. She would read, sunbathe, read, nap, and read some more seeing passersby only from a distance.

One Saturday, she arrived to find someone quietly reading under a nearby tree. Apparently unaware of her squatter’s rights to this corner of the park, she had no choice but to ignore him.

With the sun warming her nicely, Natalie covered her long limbs and face with sun lotion then opened her book.  She must have dozed off because the tree was shading her now signaling time to go. She turned over and began packing her things.

“What’d are you reading?” The guy from the other tree asked looking down at her.

“The Cider House Rules” she said shielding her eyes from the sun. “You?”

“I’ve read that it’s very good. Lie Down With Lions.”

“Are you to the scene yet?” Natalie questioned.

“Which one?”

“Oh, you’ll know when you get there.”

“Looks like you’re leaving.”

“Yeah, I’ve gotten too much sun.”

“Stay a while. We can sit in the shade.”

She really didn’t have anywhere else to be. Natalie moved her blanket to the tree and spread it out so they both could sit. So for the next two hours they talked some but read even more.

“Are you there yet?” She anxiously inquired desperately wanting to know.

“I am now.” He said blushing.

“Will you read it to me?” She said much more boldly than she felt.

“Uhhhh. Let me read it myself first then I’ll read it out loud.”

She was really just playing with him, daring him, to read it to her. She’d thrown down the gauntlet and secretly crossed her fingers.

Natalie had re-read that sex scene a hundred times and they were the most erotic combination of words she’d ever read in her 24 years. Just thinking about it had her spine tingling.

She watched him over the top edge of her book. He was reading on his back, arm folded to prop his head, when she saw his physical reaction. Seeing her take notice, he smiled and rolled onto his stomach.

Once finished, he said, “If I’m going to read this to you, I’m gonna need this.”

He pulled out a joint and with no one in sight; they both took a couple hits. Natalie felt like a naughty schoolgirl or a criminal. He brushed her long hair off her cheek as she laughed nervously.

Lying back, he began reading aloud. His voice was a little shaky at first but warmed quickly to the words as he described a scene he could envision perfectly.

Completely mesmerized, Natalie curled into him resting her head on his chest. She could hear his pounding heart and lightly brushed his muscles with her fingertips. Slowly, he guided her hand past his stomach never missing a word. She should have been shocked.

With the passage complete, he set his book aside and took her in his arms. He softly kissed her neck first then moved over her mouth like a total eclipse of the sun.

They stayed like that for hours, trading between kisses and watching the sunset.

 “Do you know of any quieter spots around here?” he asked breathing heavily.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” she whispered.

Sharing one bike, he pedaled them to a secluded place. It was thick with trees and a portal to stunning city lights. With a roaring fire in a pit on the beach as backdrop, there was just enough glow for them to look into the other’s eyes.

As the fire became embers and shouts in the distance faded, he wrapped them together in her warm blanket and pulled her on top of him. She’d never felt so comfortable so fast.

“Do you realize we’ve been in this park for 8 hours?” Squinting at her watch in pitch-black darkness.

“Don’t look.” He covered her mouth with his to stop her from thinking.

Natalie never had another rational thought for the next hour.


They came up stealthy, with no sound or flashlights.

“Get dressed now.” Standing over them were two policemen. 

“Shit, shit, shit!!!” he said as he rolled off of Natalie.

“Oh my God. I’m so embarrassed.” Tears filling her eyes as she shamefully pulled on her clothes.

“Names and addresses. We’re issuing you both tickets for public indecency. Your court date is at the bottom.”

“What if I can’t come back for the court date? I live in Denver.” He said with panicked tone.

“Then hire a lawyer. This is a Class A Misdemeanor.”

As soon as the policemen left, Natalie said stunned,

“You live in DENVER? Were you going to tell me that?”

“Ummm. Yes, but there’s something else I need to tell you. I’m so sorry. I’m engaged.” He said trying to hug her.


“YOU are getting MARRIED?” Natalie pushed him hard.

“Yes, next month.” He said sheepishly.

“Well, good luck with that jagoff.”

Feeling beyond foolish, Natalie couldn’t escape quickly enough. She rode home as fast as she could, leaving him standing in the secluded park.

Erasing all memory of him and that day would prove very difficult for Natalie to do.

Monday, November 26, 2012

10 Censored Pictures From My Cellphone

Tired, anyone?

Thank you, Sasha, for hosting Monday Listicles where this week’s list is 10 photos from your phone. I happen to take a lot of pictures with mine so I’m sharing 10 fairly recent (and decent (kidding)) from 2012. 

This is a picture from my tiny village about 7:00am, a few weeks ago, as I’m walking in for my coffee fix. I do not live in Denver. Those are not the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. That’s Sandy rolling into Chicago from the East.

Two of the most important people in my life. My nurses and best friends on girls' night in Sea Island, Georgia.

This precious little thing was walking ahead of me into a Bears game in September. So cute! I want a tutu and an orange with navy hair bow.

Sue, Frisky and me on the island of Nevis on a total beach day. We were feeling extremely relaxed right about then. Love no makeup, no hair and flip flop vacations.

Why? Why do I have a carrot between my toes and taking a picture? Well, there’s a whole story for this one but we won’t be going there. Usually pictures like this one get deleted (not really). She must have said feed me or something. She didn't really eat it either.

Tacking around the buoy during the Sunday sailboat races. Boats almost colliding. My daughter is the captain of the one and only all girls’ racing crew in a fleet of 28 E-scow sailboats.

The Amalfi Coast at sunset from our terrace.

My favorite beach dog, Miel, at Bikini Bootcamp in  Tulum, Mexico. I would like to be sleeping just like that but on the sun lounger.


A delicatessen at the entrance to Campo de Fiori (outdoor market) in Rome. We helped the proprietress move the Mortadella out into the street so she could slice it for a customer. Look at the size of that knife! Being helpful pays off. She gave us samples.

Gelato, of course, from Florence, Italy. My favorite, strawberry, is in the middle.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

What's Annoying Me? You Asked...

It is that time again. It’s Sunday and one of the reasons I love Sundays besides reading the “big” paper is stream of consciousness writing over at Jana’s Thinking Place.

I truly can’t believe NaBloPoMo is almost completed. Thursday!!! Woo Hoo! It has been challenging blogging everyday but especially for the last week. Let’s finish strong though team Yeah Write!

Today’s (totally optional) prompt: I’m Annoyed By…

This is something that comes pretty easily to me. I mean it’s easy to find something that annoys me. So for the next five minutes, you’re going to hear it. Then I will not edit or fix it. Here goes nothing…

If I am being totally honest with you, I will admit that I’m annoyed, and not just a little, with my kids. They’ve only been home for nine days, one hour and 36 minutes but who’s counting and it’s been about long enough. They are in full comfort mode which means most of the initial charm has warn off… on both ends.

Now my kids aren’t toddlers or middle schoolers or even high schoolers. They are grown up big people with grown up personalities including stubborn streaks and all around feistiness. They are used to living with 20 something’s and we are used to living with 40 something’s (okay, I’m fibbing a little here). And that’s a big age swing of rational brain cells.

Patience and tempers have become a little shorter. The house is much messier. There’s crap all over the place and no one feels like doing anything about it. The easy going-ness of the first few days is only a glimmer. The there’s the bickering!

As much as we love and adore them, we are longing for our quiet life back, just the two of us.

I would like some semblance of order. I need to stop ordering takeout. I want to stop doing laundry and picking up after everyone.

I want to go back to being the patient, kind and cheerleading mommy who’s just a phone call away.

And I need to rest up because they’re coming back in 2 weeks and 5 days and it will be for much longer than a week. That will take extreme mental preparation. I still remember last year.

I just asked my daughter if she enjoyed being home. She said it’s never long enough and I hugged her saying I felt the same way ;-).

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Breathe In, Breathe Out and Just Relax

These last four days have been some of the most





Demanding that I can remember in a very long time

For many reasons 

And not due to my immediate family.

I am spent.

I’m going to

Sit on the couch with my book

And a fire

Until someone tells me it’s time for dinner or a movie.

Screw the laundry;

Forget the vacuuming;

Dishes do themselves, right?

(Played during a workout today and it seemed to reflect my mood)

Friday, November 23, 2012

Trifecta: Mostly My Favorite Things

1n 1959, Rodgers and Hammerstein wrote the music for the Broadway production, The Sound of Music.  One of the most famous songs from the musical is "My Favorite Things."  Since its inception, the song has been covered by countless artists, and we're asking you to follow suit.  Give us a few of your favorite things, in whichever form you want, in 33 words exactly.

Dawdling hugs, snuggle fests, passionate lip service

With pizza.

Laughter weary cheeks; smiles meant purely for me.

Clever words embodying every genre.

voices, fingertips, blue irises

tears, seasons, breezes

moments, memories, dreams


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving Day: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." 
Thornton Wilder

"Thankful for the seen and the unseen, 
the believable and the unbelievable." 
(Courtesy of a Facebook friend)

Every Thanksgiving morning, I get up and go to the gym. I actually workout but mainly I go to escape the in-laws for an hour. I just got back with coffee in hand to start the ritual.

And at about the same time every year (10:00am) for the last 24, I wrestle with Tom. When I picked him up yesterday, the man at the market asked if we were having ostrich for Thanksgiving. Tom is a rather large Dude.

I’ll wash him, dry, stuff and sew him up. Let’s just say, Tom is nicely taken care of in my home.

Then it’s time to kick back in sweats, watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and leisurely baste Tom. Set the table, sure thing.

This afternoon when everything is done and dusted, all the important people in my life will be relaxing in my home. There’s a movie and a few card games in our immediate future. And of course, a feast.

The sun is shining in Chicago and the temperature is mild, at least for today!

I’m smiling as I type.

Life is Good; don’t you think?

Have a Blessed day.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Are You the Jealous Type?

I am not; nor is my husband. I’m not sure why that is. We just aren’t.

Early in our marriage (probably 3 years in), my husband lost his wedding ring. Actually, we were together skiing, just the two of us in Colorado. Taking his gloves on and off on a cold morning, his ring must have come off too and dropped in the snow. We never did find it and never got another one for several years. I’m not sure why that was either. Probably money.

However, when his ring went missing, it became an invitation of sorts for women to approach him at bars when he was out with the guys watching a ballgame and even sometimes when I wasn’t standing next to him. If I didn’t happen to be there, someone would mention it later. 

He would be all “Huh? What are you talking about?” 

He didn’t get it. He wasn’t paying attention. He, apparently and thankfully, wasn’t interested.

And laughing, I'd say, "Well honey, you are quite the catch."

Last night, my daughter and her daddy shared some bonding time at the mall. It is not his favorite place by a stretch but he acquiesced since it’s where all 22-year-old girls enjoy going. Hence, the conversation upon their return:

Daughter: “Dad. Show Mom what you got at Nordstrom.”

Me: “You shopped…for clothes?”

Daughter: “Yeah. He got a cool shirt and jeans.”

And they were cool. And they’ll look fantastic on him.

Hubby: “There was this hip saleswoman there. She helped me.”

Daughter: “Yea. She was all over dad. Complimenting the jeans he had on, his shoes. She wouldn’t stop talking to him.”

Hubby: “She was just trying to sell me clothes.”

Me: “Sounds like she was flirting with dad. He said she was hot. How old was she?”

Hubby: "I said 'hip' not 'hot' and she wasn't flirting."

Daughter: “He said 'hip'. She was cute but old. And she was totally flirting with him.”

Dad: “Now why would you say she was flirting?”

Daughter: “Because she was, Dad.”

Me: “How old?”

Daughter: “Like 27 or 30.”

Me: “That’s not old. Interesting.”

Dad: “Do you like what we picked out?”

Me: “Absolutely. Go see her anytime you want.”

Dad: “She was just trying to sell me clothes.”

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Lame Butt Randomness

I will start by apologizing for a lame butt day of blogging.

I’m wiped out from watching six 21 year olds having a fantastic time for 2.5 days. Okay. Possibly I did some participating because they wanted me to and I’m paying today.

NaBloPoMo has left me with a bit of stage fright, errrr, lack of ideas.

I'm sort of freaked out by the TrifeXXXta (did you catch those triple X's?) prompt this week ;-).

I'm full of excuses.

I hung the sign on the door. NO VACANCY. This B&B is officially closed for 24 hours while sheets and towels can be washed, house cleaned, errands run (unless they can perform themselves), food prepared and table set so another round of guests can arrive tomorrow about 1:00pm.

I don’t feel sorry for myself but I don’t feel like doing anything either.

And I must have a lot on my mind because I’ve been up since 5:00am. Sucks for me!

Maybe I will step away from the computer and read. I have to wait to change the laundry anyway. What am I reading? I decided to put all my other books down and read Spring Into Summer  by Eden Baylee. Just google it! You’ll quickly discover how I will be spending my afternoon.

Did you see the American Music Awards? I did not (see above mention of guests and birthday dinner).  Well my girl, Pink was all the rage. Check out her LIVE version of “Try” as performed at the AMAs.

(not the best version I've seen. Check out her Facebook page for a better one)

And you know those tickets I’ve bragged about having for her concert on March 9th that I bought the minute they came up for sale? I purchased 4 tickets for $250 each. They are currently valued (for sale on E-Bay, Ticket Liquidator, and Coast-to-Coast) at $535. I will hang onto them until February then sell them to finance ever kickass-ier seats!

Also, Kid Rock’s new album became available for download yesterday. You bet my iPod is rockin’ new tunes as I write.

Thanks to Stacy Uncorked, Seriously Shawn and Impulsive Addict for putting up with my random lameness today. I need toothpicks for my eyes!

Seriously Shawn

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Remember the Time...

Sunday is here and I’m ready for it! Stream of conscious writing happens every Sunday at Jana's Place and I’m happy for that particularly these NaBloPoMo days.

Five minutes to write about what I want without any concern for how it looks or if every word is spelled correctly (but my program corrects without asking me) and left alone after that. So here is my pre-Thanksgiving SOC.

(Courtesy of

I have had Thanksgiving at my home for 23 of the past 24 years. The only time I didn’t have it was when I brought a newborn home the day before and that was 22 years ago tomorrow. Where does it go that elusive thing called time?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Hands down.

There are no presents (not a present person). It’s all about sharing a beautiful day with the people to whom you are most close. Simple. And even if you can’t be with everyone you love each and every year, you think about them and give thanks for those sharing your day. We are lucky.

And the best part to me, surprisingly is not the food which is devoured in mere minutes, is the lingering. We spend the day talking. There are so many “Remember the time…”s.

And the best part of all the remembering is that each person recalls the story just a little differently and even if the same story was told last year “Grandma, remember when mom…” “Mom, remember the time..” Dad or Grandpa or…The tale comes out slightly different every year. How can that be? It just does. 

Then there’s my brother, forget about it. He remembers nothing.

That’s what I love about shared story telling and remember whens. Everyone has their own recollection, their own view, and their own side to add. Making up the "complete" story.

The fact that my parents are getting up there and my FIL is sick makes this year’s gathering and storytelling all that more important.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

A Stunning Sight Just Now

Dangling over my tiny village in a Big City is a simply stunning Crescent Moon.

The air is crisp as the bright blue cloudless sky begins to darken.

And it hangs there by an invisible strand.

The perfect example of how the moon should look when it isn't full.

From different angles and different places,

The composition of my photo would create a unique interpretation but somehow a similar one, too.

Lacking a phone or a camera, there isn't a picture of my moon today.

I paused to snap a mental picture.

Oftentimes those stick with me more so.

Then I thought

Is everyone seeing this exact same moon?

Can everyone see it like me?

I think 

Everyone who is important to me is under the same simply stunning Crescent Moon.

(Not the Crescent Moon in my village. Mine was so much more perfect)