Thursday, May 31, 2012

Most Insane Place In The World: COSTCO

I actually wrote this post last Wednesday right before the holiday weekend so imagine Costco then. In my rush to get the heck out of town and beat Chi-town traffic, I completely forgot to push "publish". So me.

Today, I'm thankful I didn't so I can do it now and head to the city for a "Day Date" (better not have anything to do with a pizza trailer ;-) ). I love getting asked out but who doesn't? Plus, there's a possibility some shopping on Michigan Avenue will be included (need a dress and heels for a L.A. wedding). Double bonus points, in my book!

Am I the only one who thinks going to Costco is completely insane? 

My “He” loves it. Loves going. Loves buying tons of stuff we don’t have room to store. Loves it, period.

Me…. No, I don’t, at all. I avoid going there at just about any cost.

So when I saw a note on the counter this morning saying he didn’t have time to go to his “beloved” Costco (okay, I added the sassy beloved part) last night since he was golfing, "Could you please go?" I had virtually no choice because he knows I'll do anything if asked nicely. CRINGE.

I have a multitude of reasons why I don’t care for the place but let’s begin at the beginning. The parking lot.  Pure and utter CRAZINESS! If that place isn’t an accident waiting to happen, I really don’t know what to say.

Is it only my Costco, or is everyone’s like that? Not one single person/car is considerate of their fellow drivers. Parking is cut throat and nasty. Talk about getting cut off just for a spot 10 feet closer to the door. Come on!

Pedestrians…Just run them over.

My strategy, pull in, beach the car in the back and walk. I have no intention of playing the parking game. I do just fine finding my own accidents in other places.

Once inside, everyone forgets spatial awareness, personally and with regard to his or her cart. Do I need to explain this? You must know what I mean. Be considerate. Don’t block the aisles. Don’t clip at my heels (I'm a speedy shopper, btw) and don’t run down people so you can get to check out first.

I truly believe Costco brings out the nasty in some (most?) people. Ugggghhhh!

However, there is always a bright and sunny side. 

I found these today and they were NOT on my list or “His” list. So what! 

They were heavy suckers and awkward. And when I got all the way to my car in the very back of the lot, two guys, about my age and dressed nicely for work, asked me if I’d like help putting them in my car. How gentlemanly. I was duly impressed and said, "That's so nice but I've got it. Thanks for the offer."

Why? Because I was embarrassed that my car was such a pit and would require a whole lot of rearranging just to fit any of my Costco purchases into it. Took me ten minutes.

The true and typical state of my car is a topic for another day but doesn’t every one kinda, sorta live out of their car? I could play “Let’s Make A Deal” with all the stuff in it. However, please don’t touch anything or remove a single thing. Things are in there for a reason (potentially) and I never know when I’ll need them.

I will agree to and negotiate for almost any other household errands but pretty please don’t give me a Costco list in the near future. See, I asked nicely!

P.S. It always bums me out because I spend about $150 more than I ever intend for things NOT on anyone's list. Costco gives me a case of the guilts.


Jack said...

I love Costco. It is one of my favorite stores but I have to concede that it has a horrible parking lot. For that matter so does Trader Joes.

I blogged about it once upon a time.

Gina said...

I have a strong dislike for the place and I don't like how much I spend there. Glad I have someone who is thrilled to take one for the team and enjoy it, as well.

MOV said...

Hi Gina,

Great post. My dad is obsessed with Costco. When I go to visit him in Colorado, he'll say, "Do you need a new camera? let's go get you a new camera! ooh, and we can have some hot dogs and pizza for lunch too!" This is even though my camera is only a year old, and we just ate lunch 5 minutes ago.

Do you read anything by the author Laurie Notaro? OMG, she is hilarious. I am going to give you a link to some book reviews on her in a sec. (And she was kind enough to email me back once when I emailed her!) Anyway, she has this one essay all about shopping at Costco. It is hilarious. It is in the book called "I Love Everybody."

Do yourself a favor and buy a few of her books (not the novels, but the memoirs). The oldest books are the best ones, I'd say the first 3 or 4 she wrote (at the bottom of the page).

here is the link I found for you:

Okay, have a great evening!


TMWHickman said...

I do not go to Costco. Ever. The parking lot looks too chaotic for me! You're brave!

Gina said...

Hey MOV,
Ok, so I have to admit that when my kids were little we DID dine at Costco for lunch on occasion and not just the samples but pizza and dogs.

I have NEVER heard of Laurie but I will soon because I'll look her up and order some of her earliest memoirs/essays. I love that kind of stuff!

I love the name of the link you provided because I am a total BOOK DORK and damn proud of it!!!

Have a great night too!
Blogging B. D.

Gina said...

Brave only under duress! I had to arm felt twisted. I won't say that I hate it but I don't care for it in the least!!! I wimp out in the parking lot, though. Too intense for me!