When I’m Feeling Guilty, I Always: A Companion Post

Throw a whole bunch of sprinkles and sugar all over the place.

Be as sweet as can be.

Smile as big as I can.

Squeeze really tight.

And, if all else fails…

Offer something up.

I was feeling guilty about the impending VISA bill that I mentioned yesterday. I’m really not a big shopper. I don’t get called out on it EVER. That’s not to say I haven’t gotten raised eyebrows a time or two because I have but I can honestly say I’m not an abuser of plastic.

I guess I am guilty because I’m doing a really good job justifying this whole thing, aren’t I?

I did damage THE CARD recently. It wasn’t for therapeutic purposes, it was purely because I needed a really cool dress for a very special friend’s wedding. And then, I needed shoes to go with it. I probably need some earrings too, which I’ll charge on a different card to cover my tracks. I’ll use a handbag I already have!

I’m not as conniving as this all sounds. Really!

So back to sweet things…

What sugar did I spread? How sweet was I? What did I offer up? It didn't take much at all!

Me, “Honey…. Let’s go out shopping just for you. You hate shopping. Tonight, I’m all yours. Drag me around looking for things YOU need.”

Him, “That actually sounds good. I could use some stuff and we can grab dinner. Wait a minute. You’re not going to shop for yourself at all?”

Me, “It’s not about me. It’s about you, I promise.” (Truly not a hollow promise here!)

Him, “That's nice.”

So that’s what we did. AND I didn’t even use the “restroom excuse” to sneak down to the Ladies’ floor. He received my sole and undivided attention as promised.

And since he’s lived with me for a gazillion years and knows I have definite opinions on fashion, he actually (and wisely) agreed to what I chose. I like to take him out of his comfort zone a little when it comes to clothes. He clearly understands the benefit when he wears what I think looks good on him. Not being shallow here just factual.

I talked him into a beautiful and classic navy suit, a white basket weave patterned shirt and an incredibly gorgeous baby blue checked tie.

So classic. So elegant. So manly.

I had the salesman throw in a pretty cool, long sleeved shirt as well. My guy was happy that his packing was 1/3 complete. It was painless!

AND his bill totaled more than mine. Hee hee!

Mission accomplished and not feelin’ guilty anymore. I would call it a WIN/WIN.

I shouldn’t have had zucchini frites and margarita pizza for dinner. Oh well, diet officially starts today. THE DRESS!

The best thing in life, to me, is spending time with someone I love and doing things just for them.

Earth to Clothing Designers

I spent part of my afternoon today searching for the perfect dress to wear to a wedding in California in a few weekends. Very exciting in theory….

I tried on at least twenty dresses. No really, 20!!! If you’re going to strip down in a dressing room under God awful fluorescent lights, you might as well keep them coming. Something’s going to stick, right?

I have a few observations about the “trying on” experience:

-       Rachel Zoe- Make your stuff bigger.

-       Designers in general- When your tag says size 6 (or 8, or 10, or 12, or 14, or 2), why doesn’t it fit someone of that size?

-       Regular women, normally shaped women, any woman needs to fit TWO of everything in your apparel item. That means two arms, two legs, two shoulders, and two boobs (1.5 doesn't really work...well...). We won’t/can’t buy it if you accommodate only ONE of any of these things. Period!

-       More than 50% of the dresses are as short as Britney Spears might have worn five years ago and I’m sure you can figure out what I’m talking about.

-       Stuff always looks better on the hanger especially when the first one you see is a Size 2.

Even with the odds stacked against me, and after trying on just about everything in my size and taste, I did find a really fun, elegant and “on sale” dress.

The very best part…

I found gorgeous shoes that go perfectly (why can’t clothes be more like shoes?). I’m not one to be matchy, matchy (and they don’t) but these stilettos are tied in just enough to call attention all on their own.

How can someone ADORE shoes so much? I don’t have an answer and answers aren’t always important, are they?

Just wish the whole clothes trying on experience was a tiny bit easier!

AND, I don’t care for getting locked out of my fitting room every time I go to show someone what I have on? Pain in the rear, really!

RememberRED: Hope

Were it not for hope the heart would break.

Scottish Proverb


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Four friends would do anything to care for me if ever needed. With many others, that level of faith isn’t as strong. This is about one of my “four”.

With one ounce of my grumpiness, I immediately reflect on C. for whom I’d drop everything, especially when she doesn’t ask because I know what she’s not saying. Only a few do.

Her youngest son is getting married in June. Thank God. It’s become a source of stress because time is of the essence. M, her husband, our dear friend, is very sick; diagnosed on the eve of our two-week trip to Italy 2 1/2 years ago. Signs showed it hadn’t just arrived. Being brave yet confused, they told no one so as not to “ruin” our adventure.

Arranging courageous faces everyday for work and times we’re together, which is often, we’re all aware. We’ve googled it. Statistics are rough. Stem cell transplants and chemo haven’t caused remission. He feels crappier than crap constantly, which breaks our hearts. C feels powerless even as a highly experienced nurse. Her "three" feel it too.

Throwing some more crap on the “nothing’s about her” pile, her mother was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. Her eldest son has recurring brain tumors since 19, both currently receiving chemotherapy.

We can’t care for M but we do mind her. As her “people”, we attend to C’s wellbeing and happiness.

Girls CAN shop so off we went to the city for her MOG dress. C‘s usual cheeriness was absent and her heart wasn’t on Michigan Avenue but she needed this task done and dusted. Tossing her virtually naked body into a fitting room, we handed her every single dress in Neiman Marcus insisting, “Put this on!” Much to her protestations, luck struck with the very last and she looked stunning. Found... the perfect gown for a Malibu ranch wedding. (M even commended our stellar job!)

We "three" will forever be present to ease the mind of our incredibly giving, strong and caring friend. Seemingly insignificant, this weighed on her. We have learned to lean on each other.

Some things are miniscule in the grand scheme. The biggie is coming far too soon we fear, and she’s aware. Our hope is she'll have faith in us to care for her, ease her mind and provide her peace when that time arrives.

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Corinthians 4:16-18
 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

RemembeRED: Hope 

This week, we want the (x) to be hope.

This is a piece about hope, illustrated through (y).

In 400 words or less, tell a true story about hope, illustrated through your experiences.