Stream of Consciousness Sunday: I Want the View!

I had no idea until five minutes ago that I would be participating in Jana’s Sunday Stream of Consciousness (five minutes of writing, unedited, published wherever the heck you want). And this is her optional prompt:

What have you fallen out of the habit of doing (or not doing)?

This is an easy one. Unfortunately.

I have fallen off the “writing” wagon.

It happened somewhere around February, I think. I have reasons. Several of them. Some will say one of them is lame. It probably is and I’m sorry about that but I can’t help it. 

I’m lacking motivation, maybe inspiration, possibly desire. Not sure yet.

I understand that writing takes practice and I’m out of practice and each day this continues my desire wanes. Almost to the point that I’m no longer caring.

Who am I kidding? Words have been elusive.

I am also trying to wean myself too. From the computer. From a chair in a study that faces in the complete opposite direction as a window with a lovely view.

I want the view!

I want to say “yes” every time someone I like asks me to spend time with them. I want to pick up every time my cell phone rings (okay, I will continue to screen my calls but I will be more available because only friends have that number) and talk to the person on the other end that was thinking of me enough to call. I want to call the person that I was just about to text (I’ve actually been doing this much more in the last few months.) I want to be present in moments without thinking first that those moments might make great stories to write about the following day.

Maybe I just don’t manage my time well enough but…

I want the view!

Random Is The Only Way Today

It feels like a long time since I’ve sat my butt down in this seat, in my study, to write a post about random things. You might think otherwise. You might think all of my posts are random. You may have a point.

I just returned from a very long walk with an old friend. I wouldn’t say she’s a close friend, just a friend friend. You know what I mean. I’ve known her a long time, seventeen years. We know a lot of the same people and raised our children in the same community/schools and in a similar fashion. It was delightful and the fresh air felt fantastic. I actually put it off for a month and I’m not sure why.

What I realized immediately after I walked inside my house was I really wish I’d make/take time to do this more often.  Not just communicate over the phone, through texts or on Facebook but see friends in the flesh. Look at them. 

I see my really, really close friends (in the flesh, not naked!) extremely often. I’m not talking about them but other people I care about that I connect with much less frequently. If not now, then when? This is something that's been going through my brain a lot lately.

Speaking of texting. I just had a conversation with one of my closest friends via text. She asked me why things were a certain way with a couple we both know. I realize I'm only giving you a snapshot but maybe you'll get the gist. The conversation went like this:

I don’t want to boss my man around. I don’t want him to let me either. It doesn’t help me feel good or better about myself. It would actually make me feel crummy. 

It was funny that we both thought for a day it might be...well, you know. But we value other things on our Christmas list rather than being "the boss" of everything. I might need to give that more thought!

Speaking of Christmas lists and for those of you with young kids, appreciate the fact that you get Santa lists or crayon circled items in the Toys R Us or Walmart flyers. It’s not easy shopping for "big" children with no lists or ideas. I never did get that crystal ball I asked for all those years ago, which would help me in situations precisely like this. It takes a whole lot more energy.

T-minus 11 days until this body must insert itself into a swimsuit. Is there nothing more frightening in the wintertime? Yes, there is! Trying on swimsuits under fluorescent lights is worse.

While I’m extremely happy to be getting out of here, I’m intensely short on time for holiday preparations and that swimsuit thing hangs over me (YES! I can be a bit vain sometimes). Maybe it would help if I got off the computer.

Off to decorate.

Thanks Stacy, Shawn and Impulsive Addict for indulging our randomness another week.