It
was a nippy fall night in the early 80’s at a big college in Illinois. Knowing I
wouldn’t make time the rest of the weekend to study for midterms, I told my friends
to head to the party without me. I’d show at some point; I always did.
Arriving
just before midnight, I found her sitting on the driveway crying convulsively. Mascara
streaked her pale cheeks. Her beautiful golden hair looked like a rat's nest and deciphering
her words was nearly impossible. She said she’d been waiting for me all night.
“Shouldn’t
have…don’t know what to do…it was his idea…”
I
knelt down to get a better look at her in the dark as my own eyes began welling
up.
“What happened?”
She continued to sob.
As
I lifted her up by the armpits, I remember thinking she felt like a life-sized Raggedy
Anne doll. Dragging her inside through the crowded room, I quickly locked both
of us in a bathroom.
“Now
tell me what's going on? Did someone hurt you? Do I need to call the police?”
Spinning
around with flailing arms, she lost her balance. Grabbing hold of my sweater and
the shower curtain at the same time, she pulled us backwards into the bathtub. We hit our heads hard on the ceramic tile.
It was then I realized she wasn’t sobbing anymore. In fact, she was laughing hysterically.
It was then I realized she wasn’t sobbing anymore. In fact, she was laughing hysterically.
“I
ate mushrooms. Then there were too many people here and you weren’t. And I was
alone and I freaked out.”
“You are kidding me! That’s the stupidest thing you've done.”
“You’re
mad at me?”
“I
thought you’d been raped. I was scared. Now I’m just pissed.”
Trying
to juggle school and our friendship, as fun as it was at times, wasn’t working
for me anymore. I was exhausted and it was only freshman year.
It was always the same old shit.
Over and over and over again.
Over and over and over again.
And
I needed my own life.
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3: to handle or deal with usually several things (as obligations) at one time so as to satisfy often competing requirements <juggle the responsibilities of family life and full-time job — Jane S. Gould>
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33-333
words for the third definition of:
3: to handle or deal with usually several things (as obligations) at one time so as to satisfy often competing requirements <juggle the responsibilities of family life and full-time job — Jane S. Gould>
