NaBloPoMo Day One: Uh OH!!!

I almost forgot to sign up for my third year participating in NaBloPoMo (a.k.a National Blog Posting Month). This month is famous all over the blogosphere as the time when bloggers blog everyday (unless you are The Jack B who does this anyway, and then some!) I still, after participating these last two years, have a hard time writing NaBloPoMo!

What is good about NaBloPoMo is it helps me get into a writing groove. A good habit. Writing every day makes writing every day much easier, smoother, more natural. Plus, this space has been empty far more than I ever wished or wanted. I have made so many excuses for why I haven’t been writing. Mostly good things. But yes, my move sucked the life out of me. I have been busy training for a new exhibit at the aquarium (you’ll have to come see me!). I am searching for new haunts in my neighborhood (i.e. bookstores). The list goes on and on. 

And the longer I don’t put pen to paper, the easier it becomes to not do it. This new habit formed. What it really boils down to is that I have not felt interesting from a writer’s prospective in such a long time. And that’s really not true! I’ve got stuff going on in my life that would be fun to write about.

I have moved from the suburbs to the big city. There are so many stories tumbling around in my mind about city life like how to decide which beggar to give money and chat with (are they really homeless and how will they use my money?), the crazy questions tourists ask, or the things I see or do while walking our dog.

I am training to be a diving docent in the Caribbean Reef exhibit at The Shedd Aquarium where I will be feeding three different types of sting rays, a giant sea turtle named Nickel, and swimming with some bonnet head sharks. And a hundred other kinds of fish. All in front of an audience. Or the time when one of the 300 pound, six foot long Arapaima (check out the show River Monsters for a glimpse of what I mean) jumped while I was inside cleaning the tank sending all the other animals scattering for shelter (by ME)!

I am dreaming so vividly! Dreams can be interesting, right? Like this morning after my husband got out of bed. I rolled over to catch a few more zzzzzz, and dreamt I was writing a poem. At the time I was dreaming it, I was also thinking “Man, I have to remember this for when I wake up!”. I must have been in a twilight state. Now all I remember is the last line. It went like this:

“Yes, the were all really assholes.”

Okay, whose poems end like this? Must have been quite the spunky piece of poetry! Darn if I could only remember more!

Welcome to NaBloPoMo in my little corner of the world where I will try my best to entertain myself and, in turn, entertain whoever stops by my humble little blog! 

P.S. Be prepared for lots of stuff about books and more than a few “stream of consciousness” style writings. Also, last year I missed about a week and a half. While I would rather not have that happen, there may be a chance that it does. I am not planning for this, but I am also not going to stress myself out over it. 

NaBloPoMo: Inspiration Found After Too Long Digging

Today is one of those days I don’t have time to think straight or sit in this chair to write.

Today is one of those days where I’m short on inspiration.

Today is one of those days that NaBloPoMo is made for…

The need to be away from the computer kind of day. The heart pounding with craziness, and busyness, and excitement kind. The warmth of touchable, flesh and blood, kind of day.

But we’ve made it two weeks (today), halfway through blogging each and every day of November, and I’m not ready to throw in the towel today even though I’m dying to say, “Screw it!!! I don’t have time today!!!” But I just can’t.

In an effort to make it easier, I intended to do a quick search of Huffington Post (to which I am addicted) and resurrect an article I’d seen a while back. Unfortunately after 15 minutes of searching, I realized it was, just maybe, on my other favorite site, Brain Pickings. And indeed, it was.

Before I Die: Reclaiming Urban Aspirations

Candy Chang, an artist and designer, started a project in New Orleans called “Before I Die I Want To…” She turned an abandoned house into a giant chalkboard for people to share their thoughts anonymously.

"I never expected such an amazing outpouring of responses so quickly. Within 24 hours, the entire wall was completely filled out. And the responses range from humorous to overwhelmingly thoughtful — from ‘be a YouTube sensation’ to ‘go 200 mph’ to ‘be completely myself.’ I hear that people are gathering at the house and it’s stopping traffic. I’m blown away.” ~ Candy Chang

This sent my mind into a spin. What would I write? At first, I was concerned my secret aspirations were coming from a fairly superficial and seemingly self-absorbed place. Then I got to thinking, it is my life. I'd want it to be for the people I care about most. And me, too, of course. Is that shallow?

It became an international sensation and after reading a follow-up article, I felt better about my superficial wants.

“Indeed, the answers brim with seeming individual simplicity which somehow unravels the collective complexity of the human condition: World peace, curing cancer, and learning to love might not be the most original of answers, but something magical happens when anonymity strips us of the compulsion for originality and lays bare our deepest, most unoriginally human and heartfelt longings with crisp, urgent sincerity. In aggregate, they are a reminder of what truly matters — a moral lens on what should matter — as we face the immutable fact that one day, when we turn to look back on our lives, all the cleverness and pretentiousness and witticism will dissipate into dust over the burning coals of our innermost, simplest, most earnest desires for a meaningful life.

(I love that paragraph above!!! Trueness to self is difficult, at times, considering marital and family dynamics.)

The magical realization of doing this anonymously didn’t change what I would write; it just made me feel like I could be more true to myself. Write how I really felt. What I really wanted. It’s not something like world peace, or anything universally important, even though I wish for those things.

Before I die I want to live in Italy for an extended period, splitting time between Rome, Chianti, and the Amalfi Coast. All the people I care about would come stay with me (separately or in small groups).

We’d be perfectly relaxed. And laugh, talk and hug. Spend undistracted, quality time really “seeing” each other. We’d revel in the small and important moments that make sharing time one of the most exquisite feelings on earth.

What do you want to do?

There's Things I Do Do and Then There's Things I Don't Do

Feel free to chime in (guys) regarding this list. It’s okay because, if it’s negative, what you say isn’t going to change this list. It’s taken years to cultivate the person I am today.

Things I don’t do around the house*:

-       I don’t change light bulbs.** I don’t even know where we keep the light bulbs although I could make a pretty good guess.

-       I don’t mow the lawn (but I do mow the lawn at the lake).

-       I don’t make my (our) bed even though every other bed in the house is always made (unless the kids are home). On the weekend, a bed fairy (not me) swoops in and makes it.

-       I don’t buy the wine even though I drink the wine. It just appears in the refrigerator.

-       I don’t (usually) take out the trash but I would if I felt it needed to be. There’s really no use emptying it until it is completely full. Am I right?

-       I don’t iron. I understand that not ironing and nothing needing to be ironed are two different things.

-       I don’t turn on the television. Probably in principal because there are three remotes for this one TV and I don’t care enough about TV to sync them in order to actually get the TV to turn on. I don't change dead batteries in remotes (computer mice, yes).

-       I don’t respond (well) to reminder notes on the kitchen island if someone has asked me to do something (i.e. postmark the taxes, deposit a check, take the car to the dealership, etc.). If I’ve acknowledged hearing the request and committed to performing the task, it will be handled efficiently. If you ask if I did it, the answer will probably be, “Oops, I forgot.”

-       I don’t turn socks or underwear right side out before I wash them. Uh, gross!

-       I don’t clean the garage or the basement.

Someday, maybe, I’ll write about what I do do because, of course, it’s a much longer list than this one. I’m actually very, very good at the things I actually do do.

* This is not a complete list. List is subject to change on whim. 

** This all started when I walked in the house on this drabby afternoon and the lamp in the family room refused to illuminate.

Bloggers Note: I walked into my house just now prepared to write about something entirely different. The title would have been, “Why I Failed Today”. Things change.