Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Writing About People You Know IRL

So this resides on my desktop, which means I look at it almost daily. I guess I use it as inspiration for lamenting; I mean writing.

I would not consider myself the world’s nicest person, but I am extremely kind, compassionate and diplomatic. Must be the balance of being a Libra if you believe in such things. Anyway, I find it so hard to write about real life, the things that aggravate, frustrate, piss me off. I am mortally afraid someone (God only knows who because I am not aware that anyone I know outside the blogosphere reads here, if that.) will read this and think I’m talking crap about them. It frightens me. Then again, I could point directly above and say, “See, it’s you not me!”

Talking trash used to be easier when I had a creative outlet. Gosh darn you, Trifecta. Oh how I miss you! I could write a story and slap the label “FICTION” on it. I used it to cover my “real life” ass more times than I will admit.

Now, I feel stuck.

It’s like the emails I get from work on a regular basis. There are 200 divers at the aquarium, but, I swear, every reprimand that is issued I consider personally. I rethink my last work shift sifting through my actions and behavior trying to figure out if I somehow was the violator! It’s insane, but I think it must cross everyone’s mind. Yes?

Where is this whole thing going?

I have never thought of myself as passive-aggressive, but watch THIS!

To the person I have always considered a friend who talked smack about me (and my besties) recently to a hair dresser who also does the hair of someone else I know and works out at the same gym, who in turn couldn’t have told me fast enough. Yeah, your opinion of me got around. 

There are three things I do not talk about, in general. Religion, politics, and money. It’s been a good rule. I am not going to attempt to change your opinions and you may or may not change mine. I don’t enjoy debating these subjects, but you do, and just because I don’t doesn’t make me a person lacking depth or that my conversations are not intellectual enough, which is pretty much what you said. I do not talk about handbags, shoes, clothes or houses either. 

Hit me up about literature, art, big city living, theater, movies, fitness, food, travel (obscure and simple). Ponder thoughts with me on religion, politics, materialism, and commercialism. Don’t ram them down my throat. I have opinions, strong ones too. Like on gun control! I would be happy to engage in mutually satisfying, stimulating and intelligent conversation endlessly, that is, if I could ever get a fucking word in edgewise. 

Maybe you’ll read this before we have lunch tomorrow so I am not tempted to tell you this in person. Who am I kidding; I won’t. I’d rather be passive-aggressive. Sometimes it’s easier then calling out a one-time friend. 

Or maybe I will just label this "FICTION".


Jack said...

Fiction helps...a lot.

But sometimes I like to just lay it out there because there are those moments where it just boils over.

One day maybe I'll mature enough to get that side out of me, I keep working on it.


Gina said...

It is at the boiling point. I was her constant defender and buffer in a tight knit group of friends. Then stuff happens. We grew up and outgrew her narcissism and put some distance in between. I understand this is her lashing out and feeling hurt, but she should have asked me three years ago if there was a problem. Too many important things happened in life that she was not a part of during those years because she was too absorbed to notice or empathize. Friendships drift apart. I believe you need to handle it with grace. This lunch, in T-minus 54 minutes, is my effort to take the high road. That is unless I go all ballistic on her. Another friend is coming, which makes that much more unlikely!

Sometimes I think I need to speak my mind instead of clamming up and pulling away. Once it's done, the feeling gone, it's like you don't exist on this earth anymore. But that feels so cold.

Let's see how the lunch goes! I'm sure I will provide an update post!

Jamie Miles said...

The end is perfect. When I first started writing publicly, I wrote much more about my life and reactions to it. I'm at a place now where I intentionally do not write in-depth (cutting open a vein writing) about struggles. Why? Becaues most of them have to do with my children. My youngest two who we adopted as infants. Lots of challenges with them as adolescents. Not to say I won't ever because I think (after reading sooo much on topic) that what I am experiencing is not uncommon. And reading others experiences has helped me. That's not to say, if I feel strongly about an issue or event not related to my family, I won't speak up. But that takes energy and honestly most of my emotional energy goes into parenting right now, and writing fiction. I say you go girl.

Kenya G. Johnson said...

I miss Trifecta too. I didn’t link up a lot but I liked knowing it was there. And I always wondered if yours were “abeled “fiction!" A-ha!

That’s stinks finding out you’ve been talked about - at a hairdresser’s no less!

Gina said...

It will always be hard for me to write about the characters in my real life. I don't want to intentionally hurt anyone.

I get the parenting thing. Mine are older but I still am emotionally drained from their adult life trials and tribulations. We never stop, do we?

Gina said...

Hahaha! You got me!

It wasn't my hairdresser, but the person who heard it from both their hairdresser, couldn't have told me fast enough. I am still hurt. I am still pissed. I need to get over it.

I work so hard to stay out to the fray. I am a super private person. I have a tight circle of friends I trust. I rarely let people see the inside. For this to have happened? I will never get it.