Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Sand In An Hourglass
Though a storm was rapidly approaching along the lakefront, I sat to catch my breath anyway, but for a moment. Resting my ass on the cold concrete of the boardwalk, I watched as the wildly whipping wind coated my shoelaces with sand.

The sun was still bright for now. Elbows propping my chin, I gazed levelly at the horizon. Thought about time.

If I’d a concept of it, as a child, I imagined there was all the time in the world. It was limitless. Seconds, minutes, days, months, years. Infinity.

Everything was fresh and first timey and thrilling. I twirled untroubled with arms flung wide open to expanses. That’s how I recall time feeling. When I was young.

As I got older, impatience crept in and time seemed to saunter. Everything took time. Ugh! More time than I wanted like Christmas coming. A boyfriend’s phone call. That first kiss. Going away to school. Growing up. And I wistfully wished it away for better things yet to come.

What a mistake that was because, then, time began to crawl amidst things like jobs and bills and responsibilities. Seemed bogged down, sometimes stagnant, except for the moments directly in front of me and things to be dealt with.

I picked up a handful of sand and watched it slip through my fingers like an hourglass.

Time bounds and dashes now instead of carefree pirouetting or lackadaisically passing or dragging on even. It hardly pauses. No longer feeling linear but like a merry-go-round someone keeps propelling. 

Not letting me off. Not one foot. Not even for a second. 

Pushing harder and faster and lustier. 

The view is blurry because it doesn't stop. 

Slow the hell down.

‘Round and ‘round and 'round. 

Slow the hell down.

I can hear it whir.

Slow the hell down.

And I'm dizzy.

So I step off.

Time is my companion.


33-333 words for the third definition of:

1:  one that accompanies another :  comrade, associate; also:  one that keeps company with another
2obsolete :  rascal


lumdog2012 said...

This is a great piece of writing. I love how it builds to the point that times moves faster and faster. I'm out of breath reading the last passage. Well done, as usual.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful piece with the right pacing of reflections. Lovely post.

Gina said...

Isn't that how it seems? It does to me like time is speeding so fast in my life right now. In some ways it feels circular with too much sameness but at the same time whirring. I need to do something to stop it. Lots of changes ahead for me so lots of things for which to look forward! Thanks lum.

Gina said...

Thanks innerzone! It's been on my mind lately as things change but also stay the same.

steph said...

Great opening paragraph to set the stage. And, as lumdog says, the buildup with that frenetic pace works beautifully. And I agree ... I can absolutely relate to the whole piece. Time often seems to be spinning out of control. Nice work, Gina.

MOV said...

Marvelous piece, Gina. Love the strong imagery, the blurring, the Christmas coming. Your words float in my brain for hours after reading.


Anonymous said...

Not letting me off. Not one foot. Not even for a second.

I love the repetition throughout the piece, but the line above especially resonated the urgency and panic about being on the relentless merry go round. Excellent piece!

JannaTWrites said...

So true how our concept of time changes with age. When we want it to slow down it keeps going faster and faster.

Gina said...

As we get older it peels away too quickly. I often can't catch up mentally. Sometimes, I don't want to. The spinning, sameness and monotony plus time moving fast is challenging for me and not that I feel it's wasted. But begin to think/realize, "Well, this is all I have. I don't get more shots. I need to make the most of it before it's all said and done."

Thanks, steph!

Gina said...

To me, life looks blurring right now. I need to step off.

I'm happy this stayed with you for more than a minute, MOV. That makes me very happy!

Gina said...

Life, right now, seems an exercise in managing repetition. I'm glad that came across in my words. There is an urgency, I feel, at this/my stage in life. You are closer to the end (even though we can't know this) than to the beginning. Realizing this has had an affect on me. Mostly lately though. I have a problem sometimes with sameness. I'm taking measure to change some things. Put some excitement into the day-to-day!

Thank you for your kind words!

Gina said...

It does! I even see it with my kids as one approaches college graduation in a few weeks. What then?

I desperately want to slow it down after so many years of wishing I was at different stages. These days, weeks, years peel away much too fast.

kymm said...

Love the philosophy, and the spin you put on the end of it. Especially like the repeating 'slow the hell down'.

One small whine: could the front approach along the lake, rather than the lakefront?

Trifecta said...

Loved reading this, and how the pace of your piece reflected those thoughts. Also love how time pushes "lustier" - there is a desperate edge in it. Thanks for linking up!

Gina said...

Thanks, kymm. It's what I want time to do. Slow the hell down. Especially now with the holidays approaching.

I see what you mean about "front". What's interesting here in Chicago is whenever (or most often) when we talk about the beach or the lake's edge in relation to the city, everyone always uses "lakefront". The weather people, native Chicagoan, etc. Habit I guess. But I do see it! Thanks for your concrit. It is always appreciated especially coming from you!

Gina said...

It was speeding up (my mind thinking about it) as I was writing. I was almost a little stressed out. I like the word "lustier" too. Sometimes I do feel desperate when contemplating time.

glynis rankin said...

My Grandmother always told me to just live on, when I was a child and I would say that time was moving too slow. She was so right! Now I just want it to slow down so I can catch my breathe. Loved reading this story!

Lance said...

Yeah, the way it grows until the final line was captivating. Great job.

Valerie Boersma said...

I loved this too, Gina. With only nine precious months until my daughter leaves for college (just yesterday, she was only three or four, it seems!) I've been desperately trying to hold on to time, and at the same time try not to look back at the moments that have come and gone and long to have them back. We need to live in the moment-let time truly be our companion, yet it seems like an elusive goal. You've written such sentiments so gorgeously!

Gina said...

Thank you, Glynis. It needs to wait for me. I'm not ready.

Gina said...

It was snowballing in my mind as I was writing. I have a merry-go-round across the street. I watch it go 'round. Reminded me of how I feel. Same views. Just spinning.

Thanks, Lance.

Gina said...

Well, I know exact how you're feeling. It's a precious time so immerse yourself in every moments. You will miss her and its hard BUT they always come home. And you will adjust and love your "new" life. You really become friends once they go away. (My kids come home tomorrow! Woo hoo!!!)

Living in the moment isn't easy because we can remember all the beautiful parts of our past and create a perfect future (in our minds). I try everyday.

You are always so kind to me and I always look forward to your visit and definitely your thoughtful comments.

Draug said...

Maybe it's because I'm still sorta young but time seems to be moving too fast for me most of the time. I wish I could turn it back too.

tedstrutz said...

Time is my companion... I like that.