I swear! There are times when I want to stand up and scream. Scream louder than I ever have, well not really but close to it!
“NOTHNG IS WRONG WITH ME! STOP ASKING!”, but I don’t even though I get the question all the time. That’s not me and
that’s not my temperament. I don’t stand up and scream anything. Ever. Would it
help if I did? I don’t think so and you’d all freak out at the unexpectedness
of it all if I actually did!
I hang out and I observe and I think.
There are a couple of things you can place bets on with me and
win money every time if these were the wagering sort of things.
I always have something to say; I’m just not
saying it.
I’m always thinking something; I’m just not telling you what that
is.
I’m always closely watching everything but I’m not judging, ever.
I’m
always feeling things; I sometimes don’t express them.
I assure you, though. Any time you ask me, when I’m quiet, which
I often am, “Is anything wrong?” The answer will instinctively be “No”. And that’s
the truth. Nothing is wrong, not with me.
I am not shy. I am not quiet. I’m
actually the opposite of those things but you have to know me to know that. I don’t share with just anybody or everybody. You have to know me AND you have to do something...
If you know me and really “get” me, you will virtually have complete access to just about everything there is to know because you have
asked the questions. It's as if there is a key that unlocks all this. It's a key to me and the key is questions.
If there are things that leave you confused, shaking your
head, or wondering, all you have to do is ask. Point blank. I can’t thing of
anything I would refuse to tell someone asking me directly and sincerely. I’m
not hiding anything either.
Believe it or not, hardly anybody ever asks me anything. Why is
that? I'm certainly not unapproachable. I'm kind hearted and friendly. I have a welcoming smile. But yet...
It’s not a secret; I’d rather talk about you. I’d rather ask you
questions. I love to laugh about nonsensical things. However, I don’t thrive in the superficial. I despise it, almost. I love deep. The deeper and more
meaningful the connection, the happier I am.
So, if you want to get to know me, ask me questions. I will
always answer and truthfully.
And remember, when I’m quiet, don’t ask “What’s wrong?”
Instead ask, “What’s going on up there?”
I assure you that you’ll receive a very engaging response and we
will begin to know each other.
21 comments:
Well I want to know if we are the same sign because this sounds just like me. So when is your birthday? Mine is Dec 13th. Are you also a "low talker" as they would say on Seinfeld. I'm not quite that bad, I just don't talk loud. And if I ever raise my voice it is quite shocking.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. It makes me feel different sometimes.
My birthday is October 3rd. And I am not a "low talker" but I remember that episode. I speak in a regular tone but I'm not super loud either. I have a propensity to raise my voice to the kids and usually when I've asked something 1, 2 and 3 times. By the 4th, I'm usually speaking VERY loudly and it always shocks them, too. I never got that because they know I'm steaming up, what did they think the result would be?
LOL, that's funny about the kids. I still don't really have to get loud (just snap my finger to get his attention and then talk through my teeth). My husbands family talks really loud. Christopher naturally turns it up a notch but to me everyone says, "Huh? What did you say?" I offered my father-in-law some french toast and he said, "No thanks." Then he came and got some after he saw what everyone else had. He said he didn't know what I said. LOL! Plus he called it sweet bread and not french toast.
It is funny what people assume about you, isn't it? I sometimes wish we could see ourselves from completely outside out bodies, just to know what other people see...
I'm so loud and brash that people often neglect to ask if anything is wrong. I think people associate talking with feeling good and silence with feeling bad and project their own experiences onto you, myself.
I know for a fact there are assumptions made about me all the time. Ive heard it from friends. I'd definitely be interested to view myself as an outsider looking in and I wonder what I'd think. I don't believe I would change but who knows. I've always held my cards pretty close to my chest. And for me, it's not a trust issue. Maybe I'm testing to see if people are interested enough to get to know me?
To clarify and if you would ask my close friends, they would all agree that I will be loud and brash at times. Just watching things if I'm unfamiliar with people or a situation. Checking things out. I smile a lot so I don't "think" my quietness projects sadness but I'm not sure. If we were talking, I'd be asking you a lot of questions, which may annoy some people, but it leads to "you" talking more than me. I enjoy listening and also enjoy questions for me but don't get them so often.
Some people aren't comfortable with silence. I can be very loud but I can also be quiet. It is not because I am uncomfortable or anything is wrong either.
Sometimes it is just pleasant to sit back and watch.
I know a lot of mothers who voice similar complaints/concerns to the one you shared.
I think the kids start to tune out their parents at around 8 days or so. ;)
FWIW, I know that my voice gives me some advantages over others because I don't have to speak very loudly to be heard.
If I drop it an octave or two it usually captures the kids attention, but they hate when I yell. So I have that going in my favor.
I love a comfortable quiet. A quiet you can have with certain people that doesn't mean anything but, at the same time, means everything. That you are comfortable enough together that you don't always have to fill the space with words. I love reading with someone, out loud and separately.
I am such a people watcher. I could do it all day. It's what I love best to do in Europe, particularly Rome. Just grab a cappuccino at a table in a piazza; instant entertainment!
I hate being tuned out but I know it's common. Life would be less stressful for everyone if an acknowledgement was made, let's say, at the 2nd time something was said?
The kids do freak a little when I raise my voice because it doesn't happen a ton. Then they say, "Why are you freaking out?" which pushes me further because how could they not know? And I hate, "Just relax." That enough to send me to the moon because I usually am relaxed. Kids!!!
It would sound weird if I lowered my octave. They'd just ask, "What's wrong with your voice?"
I wish a finger snap worked in this household. No chance. My husband's family doesn't talk loud so much as they talk a lot and I'm not going to work so hard to get a word in edge wise. Too much effort there. They are very competitive with everything, even their talking!
So funny about your FIL not hearing you and I've never heard of sweet bread for french toast. Southern?
If you ever decide to try lowering your voice you will have to vlog it.
Outdoor cafes and coffee shops are great for people watching.
Do you ever try to do it at an airport or are you too focused on catching your flight?
Oh, God! It would sound awful. I think it always sounds weird when I hear it played back, not high or low, just in between. I watch at the airport all the time. With O'Hare, you never know how long it will take you to get through so it's best to give yourself more than enough time. I grab a water and observe all the comings and goings!
I read an article about raising an introverted child the other day that suggested it's rough for introverts in the classroom and in later life because often people assume they're quiet because they're troubled in some way rather than just more comfortable that way.
I'm capable of being loud in a public space but I don't open up very quickly. With the written word it's different though. Perhaps that's why I'm drawn to writing and the internetz. Do you feel like your post is kind of about why you blog?
That's the thing. I'm not an introvert at all, not even close. I just don't open up quickly. And if I'm loud in a public space it's because a friend has egged me on as I am easily talked into things. When I do open up, then it's no holds bar. I just don't feel like sharing myself with everyone and I've always been that way. I am very comfortable silent but love to talk as well. People expect me to listen because I always do and I'm good at it, almost a perfected skill. A lot of people just don't ask me questions about myself. Either they don't think to and think I will just divulge, which I won't/don't OR maybe they are not interested in getting to know me. OR they are much more absorbed with themselves (I often think it's this).
I think I do blog so I can put out the information or feelings that I have which I'm not communicating elsewhere but I also don't write about even half of what I'm thinking (not close at all).
A while back I read a story about the science behind why our voices sound strange to us. Mine always sounds bizarre to me when I hear it played back.
I like O'Hare. I really haven't been that many times but I have seen Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan there.
That was fun, just watching how people reacted to them.
I so related to your post. Frankly, I think many people just don't ask questions. They just don't think to. I like to ask questions, too. The deeper the better. I'm just far more comfortable asking about the other person than going on about myself, especially if the other person does not seem terribly interested. (To me, if you're not asking questions, you're not interested.) I'd love to have a conversation with you and see what happens when both sides are asking questions!
Thank you, thank you! I, too, am more comfortable asking questions than talking about myself. Questions, the deeper the better, for sure!
I'm not always sure it's an interest level issue. Some of my friends (not so close) just talk about themselves. They are comfortable there and don't ask me anything. So I think a lot of it is self-absorbsion.
I would LOVE that. Asking questions back and forth is so engaging. I want the people who get to know me to truly want to get to know me. I find question asking exciting and it sounds like you do too! Would we stumble over each other's questions? How fun!
I am a big HUGE question asker. I have been given so much crap about it over the years. "Geez, are you writing a BOOK?" To which I reply if I'm feeling clever, "Why yes, and that concludes chapter 4." All of a sudden this seems like the most irrelevant comment ever.
Thank you for this post!
This is the perfect comment! People say are you planning to be a journalist or that I should be one. I get that all the time. And I am ripping off your "Why yes, and that concludes Chapter 4", for sure.
Thanks you for visiting me and I will be right over to see you!
Yep - Southern - Louisiana. He unknowingly paid me a big compliment. He said he hadn't had sweet "braid" since his mother made if for him. ;-)
I can just imagine him saying "braid". So cute! You've talked about your dad a lot on your blog and I like him!
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