Thursday, July 19, 2012

Letters Written In Secret


A tiny poem by Robert Frost to inspire us this week from Write On Edge:
The Secret Sits
We dance round in a ring and suppose,
 But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.

se·cret/ˈsēkrit/
Something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others.

***********************************

I have secrets because I’m not an open book. Some things I just won't part with because I want them selfishly as mine. They’re not bad things by any stretch, just not common knowledge, not to anyone.

Most of my secrets aren’t naughty or irreverent because those are called “skeletons” and I have more than a few of them as well. The keeper of those is sworn to the deepest depths of her being and will never reveal them. Of this, I am 100% confident. Plus, I can resort to black mail if necessary because she has way too many bones out there too, for which I oversee. It’s nice to have a friend like that, of 30 years.

She’s also kept secrets in the form of letters I desired to keep forever that didn’t have a place in my home anymore. Although opened by me over 25 years ago, I’m certain she’s never read a single word of them. It’s the kind of person she is.

Many of my secrets, past and present, turn back to letters I've written.

I have always had a relationship with handwritten letters, for as long back as I can remember. Maybe because that’s just how it was; the only private way to communicate with anyone.

“Private” was a secret in itself sometimes. Precarious. That’s part of the allure of some letters, isn’t it?

I became a proficient note passer in grade school with a stellar record in confiscation. In high school, love letters were hand delivered because posting them risked an interloping mom’s eyes. College letters found the blue box and I’d wait with bated breath for words to be returned. Waiting was the best part.

And it continued; my letter writing and still does to this day.

Anyone who has been or is special to me has had a letter written to them by moi. The secret there becomes the ones that were mailed that possibly shouldn’t have been many years ago rendering return mail unable to be saved once read. Letters not inappropriate in content per se but to whom they were written and why.

Then there are the letters written in secret, for my eyes only, that have never been mailed and the potential recipient will never know of their existence. They will never receive a postmark.

I wrote one of those recently; one that will never be mailed. I’ve kept it, hidden.

The scariest thing is I recently dreamt I called the addressee asking for their information to send them my handwritten letter. This would never happen for many reasons but mostly because I don’t want its contents revealed. Ever.

That’s MY secret.



20 comments:

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

Very cool post!!! Sadly, I had a friend of 27 years who was the keeper of all my secrets and knew of my skeletons and I of hers. I thought they were all safe until she betrayed me. We are no longer friends but her secrets are still safe with me.

Gina said...

Thanks!!! Oh NOOOOOO! That is absolutely devastating to me and I'm so sorry. In my case, that would be a humongously enormous betrayal due to deeds done. I'm imagining yours were big to you, as well. And, of course, you'd keep hers. That, in and of itself, is a testament to your honor and friendship. Well, she lost a good one, then!

Jack said...

Some of my favorite moments are secrets.

Gina said...

Some are mine as well and some are pure torture (maybe those are the skeletons talking). I'm ok with all of them. It's what makes me, me.

Annabelle said...

I love real letters; the trove of secrets in letter form in your friend's hands is such a romantic thought!

TMWHickman said...

There's a bit of romance inherent in a handwritten letter, no matter the recipient.

So when you become famous, you will have to send your friend a big present for keeping your secrets all those years!

Alissa Coburn said...

I'm a letter writer, too, and I have many that have not been sent to their intended recipient. Often when I do it, I'll simply write it in my journal instead of wasting the stationary. Excellent post!

Gina said...

I LOVE handwritten notes and letters. I try to sit down and write them often.

The letters she's holding are thoughtful and romantic at a time (early 20s) when a lot of people that age weren't.

Gina said...

I agree. It's so personal. Written just for that one single person. I love to know what people's handwriting looks like too!

HAHAHAHA! Oh, she'll keep them because she knows it's important to me. Plus, she was in on most of them so it's guilty by association, as well!

dontpanic2011 said...

I think it is just amazing how sitting down and hand writing a letter will help so much even if you never intend on actually giving it to the person for whom you wrote it.

I love the layer of romance and mystery you gave to this musing on hand written notes.

Gina said...

I have a box where they're kept. They aren't addressed but they have names on them. I don't know what it is but I like to write them on my nice stationary. Crazy, I know, but they are still special to me even if the person knows nothing about their existence.

Gina said...

I agree. There are many letters, also, that were written then ripped in half and thrown away.

Thanks, Wisper. I love them but, sadly, don't receive them often enough. Skeleton girl, above, and I write each other a lot. Just because they're special to receive.

Shelton Keys Dunning said...

Just about every letter I have ever written was never mailed. Mostly because I'd forget. That changed when a buddy of mine went to boot camp and then to Afghanistan. I haven't written one since the day I learned he wasn't coming home. Well, I did write one, but I can't mail it. I keep that one secret, tucked away.

I agree that letters are personal. They are secret. And secrets don't have to be perverse. Great post!

Gina said...

Oh. Very heartbreaking. I certainly understand your sentiment about writing letters now. I have the tucked away ones, too, that will never see the light of day unless I open them. But of course, I know what they say so I don't have to break that seal.

My secrets aren't perverse just private. I thrive in privacy. Just how I work.

Thanks for liking!

Denise said...

I love your take on this prompt. "I have secrets because I’m not an open book. Some things I just won't part with because I want them selfishly as mine. They’re not bad things by any stretch, just not common knowledge, not to anyone."

I can completely relate to this paragraph. Why do we have to be open books? I think a little mystery is perfectly fine.

Unfortunately, I don't write letters anymore. Stupid computers have rendered my once pretty handwriting completely illegible. LOL!

Great job!I am glad I stopped by!

Gina said...

Thanks so much, Denise!

I don't think we need to be open books especially to EVERYONE. Sometimes it bothers me when people blabbering on too much about themselves, things I have no business knowing. I like mystery in people. It's gives us something to dig into.

I never had pretty handwriting and now it's awful but I still write by hand a lot. People have to ask me sometimes what things says. I do try hard to be legible.

SAM said...

That quote at the end was perfect for the story. Is anyone an open book anymore? I'm not even sure I would trust all of my skeletons to one person. Some things are just never meant to be told.

Gina said...

Regarding that quote...been there, done that. That part is actually sad.

A lot of people I know are open books. They tell so much about themselves. It's just not me. I'm very private. Many people know me on a surface-y level but not beyond that.

I trust this girl implicitly with everything.

My Inner Chick said...

Looooooooove the quote!

I am a open book about certain things. For example, my sister' s murder...

but I have MANY secrets that only she knows.

Great post. Xxx

Gina said...

Oh my! I'm so sorry. Your trusted one!

Thank you for liking!