Tuesday, January 31, 2012

An Unobvious Choice


I’ve always valued quality over quantity so I have many, not tons of, friends entrenched in my life with whom I can share just about anything.  One friend has always stood above the rest…my BFF, the one I met in college 32 years ago. She knows EVERYTHING and she’ll take it to her grave or I’ll blackmail her with every single scary skeleton I’m hiding for her!

I’m not going to write about her because it’s too easy.

Growing up, Dad traveled and Mom tried to get us to behave. He was the stern, distant, humorless type who no one considered looking at cross-eyed or disobeying for fear of? Funny, I don’t ever remember receiving a punishment from him.

He lost his dad to melanoma at 7 and entered military boarding school…tough life.  Thinking his “job” as dad was to provide for our needs and the best education possible, I’ve cut him some slack for lack of a fatherly role model. He went to college at night, after I was born.  Dad’s a tough cookie; no one was ever to question him but I did when he said or did something that I didn’t think was cool. At first, he was shocked. Now he doesn’t want to disappoint ME. Crazy!

We weren’t close until his first grandchild was born. I saw the tenderness and love he had for me through her. Said he worried endlessly about taking care of us when we were young. He called her Gina by mistake and still does sometimes 21 years later. They’ve shared a bond from the minute she was born.  

Fast forward to August 2010, Dad suffered a stroke that was one centimeter away from leaving him drooling. We were very lucky. The biggest change? He now giggles. My kids love the “new” Grandpa even more because they can crack him up from almost nothing. He’s also much more sensitive and sentimental. When I call for Mom and Dad answers (would NEVER answer the phone in the past), he asks, “Did you call for me?” and I answer, “Of course, what’s up?” Sweet, sweet man of mine!

Gifts from my Dad are endless but here’s a few…
Motown, Mama’s and Papa’s, Petula Clark, The Moody Blues
Fairness
Strength
Rationality
Education
Importance of Family
Red Birthday roses every year since I was 16
Love
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY FRIENDSHIP 


(I'm not good at linking so click on BoDeans for a listen)
Written for his daughters, Sam Lianas says it's about perfect moments, how rare they are but you find them every once in a while. Love this!

RemembeRED: Friendship

Exploring friendship. Talk about a current friendship or one from your past, a friend you met over kindergarten snacks or happy hour at your first job. Examine your emotional interest in the friendship and the role it plays, or played, in your life.
The word limit for this prompt is 400 words. 



20 comments:

Madeleine said...

This is lovely! I noticed a change - for the better - in my parents once they became grandparents... and it makes me wonder how my own kids will view me decades from now.

Unknown said...

That was lovely. I could feel the love in your words as you described your dad. I envy you that you have that relationship both for yourself and for your children and for him. My Dad died when I was thirty and although my kids have sweet memories of him and he of them, he's missed so much.

Betsy said...

I love stories of daughters and their daddy's. I love how he giggles and how he answers the phone!

Gina said...

That was the first big change for my dad. The pressure was off, he provided well for his family, we thrived and began families of our own. I wonder the same thing. They like me now at 18 and 21 so I might be over the hump!

Thanks for reading.

Gina said...

Ooooh, he has missed so many years and you with him. I'm sorry for that as it's gotten better as we both aged. I can't even imagine how much you miss him. I know you're a grandmother, at least I think I read that, and you have the opportunity to create so much for your grandkids. I might be inside 10 years of "Grandmother-dom" and hopefully, I will be ready for that.

Gina said...

Giggling and answering the phone were NOT him a short 1 1/2 half ago. We were all close before but somehow it's brought us closer. The kids thought the world of him prior and were really worried that he would change. Thankfully, that wasn't the case.

TMWHickman said...

Awwww! What a sweet story! I am not ashamed to say that I got a little choked up there. Don't tell on me!

Kenya G. Johnson said...

This was very sweet. My dad and I became friends after I got married. I guess I was a load off. He's so sweet now. He will pat me on my head and say, "Thank you for my grandson". ;-)

Gina said...

Thanks, TMW! His sweet disposition and gentleness are amazing. Won't tell a soul, promise!

Gina said...

I think you're right about the load off. My dad said he knew his job was done and I was well cared for but someone e respected. I just LOVE that your dad pats you pn the head and says that. Very cute gesture.

Jack said...

You should show your father this post. It is very sweet and I hope that one day my kids will feel the same way.

They say that men soften with age and I definitely saw that happen with my father too.

Alexandra said...

Your father needs to see this.

As a parent, I would treasure it.

Gina said...

Can't show him because no one knows about this blog...I mean the people I know don't know except the friend mentioned above. I do tell him how I feel all the time and will again because I wrote about him!

Dad's are different today then they were back then. The relationships are, at least in my opinion, after watching the daddy/daughter thing under this roof.

Thanks, as always, for visiting!

Gina said...

I think I'm going to write him a letter. He and I have always done that. He can then keep it in his desk and read it whenever he wants.

Always thanks!

Anonymous said...

How cool that the stroke brought out a side of him you'd never seen before. And how awesome that you, as his daughter, weren't at all jealous of his love for your daughter but instead became a part of that love. How utterly touching.

Gina said...

Totally cool and we were looking at him strangely at first to see what the "new" him would be like. My daughter has the benefit of being the first grandkid AND they have things in common, she does well in school (important to him) and she'll sit and talk with him forever. I love it!

Ed Pilolla said...

wonderful to read about your father. my father and i had a major renewal of our relationship after i went into journalism at 26. it was a special time. it's a real-life miracle when we progress in our relationships.

Gina said...

It is a miracle and I'm thankful everyday. Wonderful about your renewal with your dad. Sometimes I think it's hard for them to get out of the father role until they know we're ok. I know that was the case with my dad. Then the relationship can strengthen.

lisa from insignificant at best said...

I can't even tell you how much I loved this. It sounds like you have the most wonderful friend in your father. Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Gina said...

Hi Lisa,

Thank you visiting my post. I really do have a great relationship with my dad. It wasn't always that way but has grown exponentially from the time I got married to the present. I used to be the wild one, in high school and college but got it together which made him more comfortable. It means a lot to me that you were touched.

Gina