Wanderlust and When I Was Younger...

When I was younger, "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey played non-stop. It was on the radio and played at every party on every weekend when I was a 19 year old sophomore in college. I’d loved Journey since high school and this new song was just made for slow dancing. Or so it was to us!

Hearing this song now, reminds me of a dream I had all those years ago. And I’m not talking about a sleeping dream. It was an actual dream, much more than a daydream even. At 19, I was a spirited kid with a severe case of wanderlust. 

I wanted to travel.

I grew up in a family where education was a primary focus and money, at times, was an issue. My parents, two generations removed from the whole immigration thing, wanted to give my brother and I opportunities they never had. Like travel possibly?

Of course there was no doubt in my mind that they'd indulge my true desires and already made plans for the summer between my junior and senior year in college (well before the age of required internships and resume building).

So after careful thought and planning with two of my college girlfriends, we put together a rough itinerary for a two and a half month backpacking trip through Europe. The finances and costs were laid out (guesstimated of course). My friends already got their "Go!". I was the last one to approach “the parents” because, in reality, I knew what their answer would be.

“No.” It wasn’t even a wiggly "no". It was flat out "NO". Exclamation point added for emphasis!

As I’d had a history of doing, I pressed for solid reasons. I could debate even back then 'cause I thought I was soooo smart. Excessive pressing never worked or helped my causes. "No" always meant "no".

“It’s too dangerous for girls. We don’t know anyone who’s done that before. We don’t care if Cindy and Angela’s parents said ‘yes’. You don’t have money for that (but yes, I did). You’re not going.”

“But, but…..”  I stammered. And I had a long list of but this's and but that's!

My dream was squashed within moments.

The two of them, went on without me.

Fast forward 30 years…….

“Honey, you know my answer and I think you’ve laid out your facts well.  I can tell you girls have spent a lot of time getting your ducks in a row. And having the rough costs and itinerary mapped out is important. You know what you have to do now. And, no, I won’t ask for you.”

Even though it was an uphill push in this household for a short period of time ("I never did that when I was her age!" he said), I was even more excited when her dad called to tell her, “Yes. You can go.”

I’m thrilled my daughter will see her dream come to fruition and live my dream from 30 years ago. Backpacking in Europe for two month. Take lots of photos, girls!!!

While my wanderlust, especially for travel, still remains as intense and seductive as ever, I have new dreams. Wishes I’m trying to make happen right at this very minute.

I’m still spirited; just not a kid anymore if we are speaking in terms of chronological age, that is. And "No" is still a tough word for me to swallow.

I’m okay, now, with the answer I got so many years ago.

I'd have loved to go with three cool chicks “when I was younger…”

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2.) Write something that begins and ends with the words “When I was younger”. (inspired by writingfix.com)


Dreams, Love Them: Stream of Consciousness Sunday

Stream of consciousness writing below where my timer was set for 5 minutes and I just spilled out my most immediate thoughts on the optional prompt for today which is one of my very favorite things to do and write about!

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Dreams!!!!!!

Love them.

I have a very, very vivid imagination during my waking hours and I’m often quite surprised by where my mind finds itself.

Let’s just say my nocturnal imagination leaves my daytime one in the dust. See ya!

And I remember everything. Okay, not everything, but 95% of what I dream, I could piece together the next morning and I often do.

My best dreamtime is from 5am-7am. Oftentimes I’m up between 4-5am for physical reasons or my mind is engaged in thought and won’t let my body drift off. Anyway, the dreams I have during this time are amazing and they usually involve people (whoever happens to be on my mind at the time?). It can be slightly discombobulating waking up spooning my husband who may or may not have been present in my dream (just kidding? I’m only human!)

Sometimes I wake startled from an incredible dream and it wasn’t finished yet and I want back!!!

Desperately!!!

So I lie there (like from my favorite movie Somewhere In Time where Richard wills himself to go back in time to his greatest truest love, Elise McKenna) and will myself back. It doesn’t usually work and I’m just left with an incomplete but very vivid memory of what might have been.

I AM. And I Feel....

Courtesy of Mama Kat's Writing Challenge and brought to you by me, here is my “I AM” poem using the template available over at her site. 

This was really fun to do, for me, since I am NOT even close to being poetic. As a matter of fact, there's not one poetic bone in my increasingly large body (my Italian mother has been feeding me for 8 days straight. I LOVE PASTA!). In my next life, I swear, I’m coming back world famous for all the poems I will write and publish!

I Am

I am passionate and gregarious; 


I wonder what my life will look like five years from now, I really do, because I know it will be much different than it is today; 


I hear the sound of my sweet Ellie's bell jingling around her neck and it's as if she never left us at all; 


I see hummingbirds and butterflies fluttering all around and they land on my outstretched arms; 


I desire the saucy and sassy romance story in my mind and at my fingertips to come to fruition and someday find it's way into someone's hands to read; 


I am passionate and gregarious.



I pretend to be a comedian and can really make "me" laugh but mostly at myself; 


I feel like I'm different everyday and different from everyone else; 


I touch hearts, really reach out and try, and that's my personal goal; 


I worry I haven't taught my children as much empathy or compassion as this world of ours needs; 


I cry because time is moving too fast, and I haven't finished all that I intend to do, and it won't slow down no matter how hard I wish it; 


I am passionate and gregarious

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I understand that I'm responsible for my own happiness, and nothing is perfect or guaranteed, and that the simpler I live, the happier I am; 


I say live and let live without judgment. I plead! 


I dream of a life full of laughter and love ever after every day and every night; 


I try to smile at everyone who crosses my path even when it's difficult or I'm not feeling it; 


I hope to grow old with the people I have in my life right at this very minute and that every day we are able to make a memory together; 


I am passionate and gregarious.