 |
| Some people CAN really fly. |
People experience things
differently.
Some only watch as the world
spins all around them.
Others actively take part and
pursue what it has to offer.
Last night was a
splendid example of such.
I experienced passion and beauty
as I watched this boy
gracefully plunge into the water at sunset.
It was the perfect setting,
on a perfect night,
and this perfectly orange
sunset possessed and captivated me.
I couldn't tear my eyes away.
I couldn't tear my eyes away.
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For Friday, a short challenge from Write On Edge. Below are three fairly generic passive phrases. Your goal is to make them active in a short scene, either fiction or non-fiction. You can choose one, two, or all three to play with, but you only have 100 words.
1.[he/she/I] was devastated by [...]
2.[feeling] was experienced by [...]
3.[person/thing] was possessed by [...]
18 comments:
Hi Gina - great take on the prompt, it really creative a mood!
One thing though: part of the prompt was to take the passive and make it active. And to continue writing in the active tense throughout.
So instead of
"Passion and beauty were experienced by me,"
you want
"I experienced passion and beauty"
Thanks for the suggestion, Barbara and I agree!
Excellent Gina. I looked for your line and I'm stopping by after the suggestion and correction. Great advice from Barbara and I love the picture you found to go with your writing.
Thanks, Kenya. Works better that way.
That's Matthew, my son, in the picture taken on Wednesday night.
That picture is full of possibilities! I loved your take on the prompt, as usual. You're a great writer!
Thanks, Tina! You're so nice to me.
Ooh lovely and serene. I couldn't tear away either. Well done!
I can see why you were captivated!
Wow. Now my suggestion is to put a caption under that photo. That makes it even more powerful. I got goosebumps when I read it again. That is absolutely beautiful. Who took the photo?
My husband is an awesome photographer and that was taken in that quick speed with multiple shutters per second. That was his fourth dive. We started as the sun was setting and that was at just about the last moment. PRICELESS! For a Mom, of course.
You have brought out the beauty of the moment so well.
Thanks. And I won't until the end of August!
Thanks, Kathleen. i truly was.
Well thanks, Bubbling Arroyo! I gave it a shot!
nice one gina!
Thank you, habibadanyal!
A beautifully written piece to go with an amazing photograph. I agree - put on there that it's your son!! Great job.
Thank you Wisper. I will put it on there. It's a sweet picture.
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