Tuesday, June 19, 2012

BLUE and Missing You


33-333 words for:
BLUE: (adjective)
3. a: low in spirits: melancholy
    b: marked by low spirits: depressing<a blue funk> <things looked blue>


Something silly or stupid would happen almost every single day and I'd think of you. I'd pick up the phone to dial your number so I could laugh…with you… until our sides hurt like they always did. Knowing you would crack up, too, even while I struggled to get the words out because I was giggling so hard. Because you're silly just like me so you’d get it. 

I’d run into that certain acquaintance of ours, and quickly insert foot directly in mouth. So typical. You're the one I'd text because you always say, “That wasn’t so bad, really (slightly cringing inside). I’d give you a hug if I was with you.”

I’d see Like Crazy or Somewhere In Time or read a love story I knew we’d both like; and immediately, eyes still filled with tears, I’d think to shoot off an email and ask if you saw the same ones, read the same book. “What did you think? Did you love it, too? What are you reading now?” and know your reply would take no time at all.

I’d sit down to write you a letter like we used to love to do and do so often. Then check the mail basket the very next day in anticipation of your written reply even though it wouldn’t arrive for one week. The waiting would be excruciating but oh so, worth it. It would be the second best part after your words.

Sitting, something touching, whispering, anytime we were together.

I still want to do all these things, all the time. 

Then I’d remember. 

I can’t do any of these things because we don’t do any of them anymore. Sometimes I forget even why.

But I do know exactly why we don't do any of these things anymore and it breaks my heart all over again.

Today, when I wanted to tell you something, I remembered again that I couldn’t and all I felt was blue. I suppose I’m making some progress.

30 comments:

susanwritesprecise said...

What a beautiful and heartbreaking story. Excellent use of the prompt!

TMWHickman said...

So beautiful. I got a little teary, there!

Anonymous said...

Eloquently sad -- it made me a little blue to read it.

Gina said...

Thanks, Susan!

Gina said...

Awwwww, Tina! Thank you.

Gina said...

Made me a little blue to think and write it. Thanks.

Kenya G. Johnson said...

Oh - is this to be continued? :-(

Anonymous said...

this reminds me of a good friend i have/had.
one day, hopefully, though, i'll have to remember all those silly things to tell him rather than have all those silly things remind me of him.
good write.

Anonymous said...

I have friendships in my past like this where there's a divide that we can't get across. You communicated 'blue' well here.

Jack said...

This song (http://youtu.be/JRLjpXLEp1A) was playing while I read this post and I remembered what I might have once had.

Looked out my window and tried to find the moon because I wondered if somewhere someone else still does that.

And then I stopped because I had to write.

Anonymous said...

expressed with lots of feeling and expressed well. Enjoyed reading it!

Whispering Thoughts said...

You had the perfect words to be said. A fine specimen for word "blue" with its third definition.

Magdalena said...

Hi! I just discovered you blog and I really love it! I am a new follower!
This is such a nice post!

xoxo

MM

Lynn Proctor said...

such a nice piece of writing!

Gina said...

I don't have an answer for that one. :-(

Gina said...

I'd love to share again with this person. Should keep track of all the things to tell them. One day, maybe.

Gina said...

Thanks, Janna. You never know if a limb can be thrown across that divide and you can pick up some sort of something again. Who knows what's in the cards?

Gina said...

Yep! Something like that.

Gina said...

Thanks. And for visiting, too!

Gina said...

Thanks so much, MM! Welcome!

Gina said...

Thank you!

Lance said...

well written and excellent use of blue.

I like how you led me through each sentence.

Gina said...

Thanks, Lance. And for letting me lead you.

De Jackson said...

Gina, this is so well done. I think we have ALL been there, nearly word for word. Heartbreaking, and raw, and so true. Well penned.

de
whimsygizmo.wordpress.com

Sandra said...

Such an honest and beautiful tribute to your (best) friend! Sad, but the fond memories remain.

Gina said...

Thanks, De. I'm glad it's relatable but sorry people have been there too. It's actually about a few people, not just one.

Gina said...

The truth hurts sometimes as does reality. The memories of these friends do remain and always will.

Trifecta said...

I can feel blue when I read your words. I know that feeling of longing and frustration and sadness well. I'm sorry that you do and hope that one day your find each other again.
Thanks for sharing this with us and please come back tomorrow for the new challenge.

Anonymous said...

I can completely relate to this. Well put.

Gina said...

Thanks, Swirls. I bet most people can and had experiences just like this with friends and lovers.