You
know that great looking guy in college who ran around with your circle of
friends and you hung out together yet never hooked up? Despite playful flirting and a wicked connection, the line was
never crossed. I had a boyfriend and he, a girlfriend. We were friends, happy and graduating!
Pursuing
dreams, everyone moved to the city. It was like old times again. He lived alone
so if we happened by for an after party or a late movie, the girls would crash
in his big king size bed. He would sleep on the couch.
This
arrangement worked quite well until the first night we found ourselves alone,
tipsy. We kissed and so began our smoochy sleepovers. Why so named? Nothing more
ever happened. TRUTH! We danced this
two-step, taking the same number of steps forward as back, for five months.
Closing
my eyes, I can recall the last one with vivid detail...
I
reached up for his face looking into blue eyes. He gently grabbed my wrists saying,
“This is it unless...” My first ultimatum and I balked.
He
took my hand and walked me home. From my window, I saw him standing there,
hands in his pockets gazing down at the sidewalk. Could six years of friendship
suddenly be over? Should we be together? It hurt badly.
Months
later, arriving late to his Halloween party ridiculously dressed as a map of
the city (he was a shower), my eyes almost pop out of my head when I see him. Who’s
the cute girl he’s with? More importantly, why is he smiling that smile I knew so
well? The picture became crystal clear. Devastated, I disappeared. I didn’t understand at the time, SHE was his future.
Suddenly
its summertime in Chicago and, as a single chick, there was nothing more fun on
a Saturday than riding bikes up to Wrigley Field and sitting in the bleachers. Bleacher
seats were general admission so we selected our seats wisely, right next to a
fine looking group of guys. Without
realizing, two fates would be sealed on that June day.
We
laughed until we cried all day long.
My
eyes kept catching those of the really funny, athletic, dark haired guy. He
was pretty drunk. Saying our goodbyes, “my type” asked for my number. Having an
outstanding memory myself, I presented a challenged. If he remembered my number
the next day, I would accept a date. We went over it several times to make sure.
The
phone rang two days later. My smirking roommate turned, “It’s for you”. And
so my love affair began.
It took
just six months for my “friend” to come looking for me.
Throwing
a NYE party at our place, we decided to mix our newest friends with some of our
old buddies. Shake things up a bit. And HE came, too. Rumor said he was confused about his feelings. I imagine his stomach bottomed out,
the way mine did, when he saw my arms wound tightly around my future. I saw it
in his eyes.
We had
a past full of memories but could never, at the same time, find a present or
future including the other. I think we were both very surprised.
Author’s
note: We each married our “future” the very next year. Both politely declined
invitations to each other's wedding but sent gifts.
I
didn’t sleep well last night thinking this through and had to shake my head a
few times, while writing, to clear my brain because it has been a long, long time since this
was at the forefront of my mind.
RemembeRED: The Past, Present and Future
This week we asked you to write about a moment when your past, your present, and/or your future clashed and the results. You were asked to bring us into the moment and let us experience it with you.
This week we asked you to write about a moment when your past, your present, and/or your future clashed and the results. You were asked to bring us into the moment and let us experience it with you.
18 comments:
Hm. Have you had any contact with him sense, even through someone else? Do those "what ifs" ever really go away?
Haven't laid eyes on him in about 17 years, 4 months, 8 d... Just kidding. Not since we all moved out of the city.
He's always lived a few 'burbs west of me. Friends have run into him but I don't know much but the basics. He's still married to the she-devil (she really was!). Haven't thought about this in a VERY long time. Just as well because it didn't feel all that great.
Do the "what ifs" ever go away? I'd be lying if I said yes.
Wow. It's funny how so many singular moments affect the entirety of one's life. Thanks for sharing.
Stopping by from Write on Edge
Alyssa
Hey Alyssa,
Thanks for stopping over. I'll be headed your way. It was definitely a major fork in the road map of my life. Wouldn't change a thing!
So interesting to run into those that might have been our future. In my case, I'm grateful that particular future never came to be! Stopping by from Write on Edge!
Interestingly enough, our lives, his and mine, are quite similar. One never knows how things would be if different choices were made way back. I'm not so sure we would have made each other happy in the long run.
Timing is a funny things, sometimes in a laughter kind of way and other times...not so much.
How very cool. I love the intersections here. This prompt has me totally stumped, by the way. I can't decide if I've already written about it (the time my half naked sister acted just like her usual self greeting my first ever boyfriend who I later married) or if there's something I'm blocking that is just outside the realm of memory. RememberRed does that to me.
You are absolutely right, Jack. More often than not, in the not so funny way. Thanks for visiting!
I have to marinate with the RemembeRED prompts sometimes in hopes of the light switch flipping on. That's how Scott met your sister? Nuts!
Lots of times we camouflage those conflicted feelings.
That's what happened. We were young and neither had the courage to stick their toe over the line if they weren't completely sure of the result. Therefore, neither dummy did.
We always wonder "what if?" about some people, but I guess that if it had been meant to be, it would have happened, right?
I do believe in what's meant to be happens. I think we are meant to meet, interact with, and connect with the people we do. Predestined?
Wow - what a fabulous story! I had a friend similar to yours {although we never smooched}... up until I married my 'future' I wondered 'What If..'
I heard news of him a little while ago. He walked out on his wife and 4 children and got himself a really young girl friend and moved to the beach. Kinda glad I let that one go....
I try not to think about the "what if's" because there's no use for it.
What's with these guys and their young girlfriends, anyway? Apparently, he chose the wrong one to start. I'd move to the beach in a heartbeat but bring along what I have already.
Thanks for visiting!
This is a fantastic account of a "something" that never came to fruition. In fact I am reminded of someone like that in the back on my mind. He went on to become a house husband. The one I dated for years became a much nicer person when he married his someone. I look back on those six yeasr and think how much we wasted our time and energy - we were horrible together...
"he went on to become a house husband"...probably not what we're looking for.
Six years is a very long time to spend figuring things out especially since your were horrible together! That's when its smart for us to move on.
I love all your Don Draper posts! I'm mixed on the premiere.
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