For your prompt this week, we are
giving you the first 33 words of a story. You need to complete it with 33
of your own words.
“There’s nothing cute about it,” he
said. The register of his voice indicated decision more so than discussion.
She disagreed heartily and privately,
staring past his head and out the window behind him.
“You’ve never minded being teased. What’s changed?” “Me! How?”
“Oh, now you’re going to ignore me?”
“You’ve never minded being teased. What’s changed?”
I nip your ear with my teeth.
Your smile always melts my heart.
"See, I haven't changed."
24 comments:
I liked this one. The relationship seems very real.
Thanks. That was the plan.
So totally realistic Gina, very nicely written!
Thanks for always being supportive, Jen.
I have trouble with fiction even though I'm really good at making stuff up. So my fiction has to feel real to me to or I can't write it. I can usually write about relationships without much trouble because I've had a lot of history with those.
I wish I could dream up a really thrilling mystery, romance or sci-fi piece (I don't care for sci-fi though). That would kick ass!
Nice "banter." Couples can be so nasty to each other.
So playful great piece!
I liked the intensity of the relationship. It sounds like he's said something to hurt her and she has gone quiet in spite of him suggesting the teasing is OK. Then, at the end, she seems to rally to his side again.
Nasty and nice...then nice and nasty...and so the world turns!
Thanks for coming by!
Hey Rachel,
That was my hope...come on, let's just play!
Gina
Thanks, Jester Queen. Some stuff was said, in a relationship that's solid...I'm thinking, typical? They both "get it" and she evaluates the meaning in the grand scheme of things then let's him know no harm done.
saucy! well done!
best,
MOV
Saucy: cheeky, fresh or brash, often also with strong overtones of sex. Definition courtesy of the "Urban Dictionary".
Thanks so much, MOV!
Very clever. I like the nipped ear. :)
Thanks, Mags!
That was my favorite part too. Always have to add that sex appeal to a story about a relationship!
We change every second.
Yes we do! That's what makes it fun!
The best way to be in a relationship, especially a long term relationship. Great playfulness.
My finger is tapping the tip of my nose...exactly. Sometimes one of you has to lighten the mood.
Nice job!! Its really realistic!
Thanks so much, Libby! I was trying for that so I appreciate you noticing.
I thought this was very romantic in its way. It's easy to make a new relationship sound sexy. Congrats for depicting a touch of romance to a couple who obviously already know one another very well.
I hope the nip hurt ... just a little. =) I always find that helps ME feel better if I've been slighted. But maybe that's just me?!
I found it believable. I wrote sci-fi last week, but I'm not into sci fi at all. Funny, eh?! You just never know ...
Thanks, Gal! I was going for that feeling. You have to find ways to keep it "fresh", in more ways than one.
It was meant to hurt a little, but I'm afraid guys would like that anyway so it's a wash. I wanted to get a point across with it.
Crazy about the sci-fi. How did you do it then if you aren't into it? Would be hard for me. Maybe I'll have to step out of my comfort zone at some point.
Thanks for visiting!
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