You
know that great looking guy in college who ran around with your circle of
friends and you hung out together yet never hooked up? Despite playful flirting and a wicked connection, the line was
never crossed. I had a boyfriend and he, a girlfriend. We were friends, happy and graduating!
Pursuing
dreams, everyone moved to the city. It was like old times again. He lived alone
so if we happened by for an after party or a late movie, the girls would crash
in his big king size bed. He would sleep on the couch.
This
arrangement worked quite well until the first night we found ourselves alone,
tipsy. We kissed and so began our smoochy sleepovers. Why so named? Nothing more
ever happened. TRUTH! We danced this
two-step, taking the same number of steps forward as back, for five months.
Closing
my eyes, I can recall the last one with vivid detail...
I
reached up for his face looking into blue eyes. He gently grabbed my wrists saying,
“This is it unless...” My first ultimatum and I balked.
He
took my hand and walked me home. From my window, I saw him standing there,
hands in his pockets gazing down at the sidewalk. Could six years of friendship
suddenly be over? Should we be together? It hurt badly.
Months
later, arriving late to his Halloween party ridiculously dressed as a map of
the city (he was a shower), my eyes almost pop out of my head when I see him. Who’s
the cute girl he’s with? More importantly, why is he smiling that smile I knew so
well? The picture became crystal clear. Devastated, I disappeared. I didn’t understand at the time, SHE was his future.
Suddenly
its summertime in Chicago and, as a single chick, there was nothing more fun on
a Saturday than riding bikes up to Wrigley Field and sitting in the bleachers. Bleacher
seats were general admission so we selected our seats wisely, right next to a
fine looking group of guys. Without
realizing, two fates would be sealed on that June day.
We
laughed until we cried all day long.
My
eyes kept catching those of the really funny, athletic, dark haired guy. He
was pretty drunk. Saying our goodbyes, “my type” asked for my number. Having an
outstanding memory myself, I presented a challenged. If he remembered my number
the next day, I would accept a date. We went over it several times to make sure.
The
phone rang two days later. My smirking roommate turned, “It’s for you”. And
so my love affair began.
It took
just six months for my “friend” to come looking for me.
Throwing
a NYE party at our place, we decided to mix our newest friends with some of our
old buddies. Shake things up a bit. And HE came, too. Rumor said he was confused about his feelings. I imagine his stomach bottomed out,
the way mine did, when he saw my arms wound tightly around my future. I saw it
in his eyes.
We had
a past full of memories but could never, at the same time, find a present or
future including the other. I think we were both very surprised.
********************************************************************
Author’s
note: We each married our “future” the very next year. Both politely declined
invitations to each other's wedding but sent gifts.
I
didn’t sleep well last night thinking this through and had to shake my head a
few times, while writing, to clear my brain because it has been a long, long time since this
was at the forefront of my mind.
RemembeRED: The Past, Present and Future
This week we asked you to write about a moment when your past, your present, and/or your future clashed and the results. You were asked to bring us into the moment and let us experience it with you.