This was written for Write On Edge. The prompt was to create a story about money with the first line “Not everyone can be bought.” And the last line, He let the money fall onto the table and walked out. Here goes!
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“Not everyone can be bought” she said.
She was grinning, teasing him. “Your name is Ben, right?”
Thoroughly enjoying their banter, chemistry and the almost anonymity of the situation.
“Essentially, I did buy you. And you’re a jokester, too?” He tossed back, laughing as he flipped her on her back in one quick movement, none too gently, and rolled on top of her.
Gazing into his eyes, a mesmerizing blue. “So this is what being bought feels like. Mmmmmm. And what do you think you bought?” she murmured breathlessly.
It was morning already. It arrived so quickly! Last night felt like only a dream. albeit a luscious one.
Sun peeking through slitted heavy drapery, she looked around registering subtle elegance, the expensiveness of it all. Her mind suggesting things.
They hadn’t slept all night. Each time her eyes began to close, mind drifting off, he brought her attention right back with his surprising kisses.
Declaring “Sleep is overrated.” He pressed into her as she begged for a catnap. “You can sleep Monday through Friday. Tonight, your mine and I’m going to squeeze every last penny out of you. Literally.”
Her heart was beating extremely hard. This was the most thrilling thing she’d ever done. And he was the most exciting man she’d ever been with acknowledging her rather limited experience.
Whispering in her ear, “This is exactly as I planned. It couldn’t have worked out more perfectly.”
“What do you mean? Exactly how you planned.”
“The event chairwoman's a friend of mine. I knew who you were, what you looked like. Where you lived. A man has to know what he’s buying, right? I knew I was going to bid on you. Take you home at any price. $10,000 was a bargain. Worked well, don’t you think?”
“Clever you. Maybe your charity auction days are over.”
“Maybe.” Covering her lips a last time for good measure, he rolled off taking the sheet with him fully exposing her in the bright morning light.
“Very cheeky, you are!” she called as he waltzed into the shower.
When the water was hot and steamy slipping in behind him, he turned in surprise.
“Do you have to go to work?” she whispered.
“Yes, believe it or not it’s Monday already.” They’d been in his room since late Saturday evening.
He let her tie his tie as he smoothed his custom Armani suit.
Parting, he said, “Stay all day.”
“Maybe I’ll be here when you get home tonight.”
“If you are, we’ll go for that dinner we were supposed to have. Buy yourself something special.”
She wondered if she could get used to this.
He let the money fall onto the table and walked out.
20 comments:
VERY cool - An interesting take on a classic. I wonder how sinister the man is... if this is a romance where he is reformed or a drama where she comes to a bad end. Well done!
Concrit: I did have some problems following the narration at the beginning - who was speaking, etc...
Lovely!
Their banter is easy and teasing, which I really liked. The charity auction twist is a nice take on the idea of being bought. I did struggle a bit with the timeline because you talk about it being "morning already" and then reference Monday, which implies two nights?
Agree with Angela, I like the lightness of the easy teasing banter, sounds very real.
I really liked this. The banter, the way you created a little mystery about him "paying" for her and the chemistry between them. Very good writing. This seems like a story you might want to continue.
Thanks, Barbara! I don't know. While I'd love to think his intentions were pure and this was the beginning of something real, he was awfully calculating and kind of set her up. They appear to have fallen hard in 36 hours of rolling in the hay. We shall see!
I'm horrible with dialog and paring this down from 600 words (thought I could have 500 then re-read 450. Yikes!), I lost some of it's smoothness. I must keep working on it!
In my mind, he "bought" her on Saturday night for a date which turned into Sunday then Monday morning. Seems like they had a fun and interesting 36 hours for strangers. Sorry for the confusion and thanks for liking the banter. In real life, I banter teasingly with a lot of people so that type of dialog is comfy for me!
Thanks, Jody. It's very reminiscent of my typical conversations with friends, hubby...most everyone gets teased a bit. And they are welcome to tease me back. Which they all do!
Thanks, lum! I just hope he doesn't end up being a creepy creep and she doesn't turn into a needy, sappy girl, OR God forbid, gold digger (I would HATE that). Love great chemistry which leads to the fun, easy banter and all the other good wrestling around stuff.
That was fun and light. I have to admit, I kept expecting a darker turn. Especially when he said he knew who she was.
sounds like Pretty Woman except it was a charity auction...why was she up for bid? Was it a bachelorette auction?
I does give me the heeby-jeebies a little, his attitude, the way he "planned" to buy her. If he'd just seen her and "known" she was the one, the special one, that would have been more romantic :)
I would expect he's not as he seems, too! Next time? He has to reel her in, doesn't he?
We used to have charity date auctions in college. Reminded me of that as my daughter was involved in one recently. But much different than this!!!!
It gave me the creeps too! That's right. He scoped her out ahead. And specifically chose her. That tells me something.
Thanks for your comment, Carrie!
I really enjoyed the dialogue. There is tangible chemistry. I could have read 450 more words.
COOL! Loved this Gina. I tried with this prompt. Sometimes the fact that my dad reads my blog stands in the way of me having "fun". Just like the old days. LOL!
Scary and creepy. Sounds like something you need to explore more. Why is he setting her up? What were his intentions when he "bought" her? Elaborate (without the word count limit of course)!!!
Thank, Lance. I'm sure these two have more things to do and at least 450 words worth, or so it seems!
I don't want your dad reading this type of nonsense either. I don't know him but I feel like I do a little from your stories. You probably need to stick to the PG and leave the PG-13 or R rated stuff (someday I might get to "R"...) to moi!
I think I need think this through some more. I wish I had 10,000 words for this. It would be creepy and spicy and romantic... Can those three things go together?
Sorta stalky...I liked the bantering between them. His confession of "knowing what he was buying" didn't scare her at all--good!
Yeah considering he doesn't think I should say "dammit" in my post. :-/
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