Monday, October 1, 2012

Lessons Learned When Young And...Stupid

I’m not entirely convinced there must be a moral to every story. Maybe a lesson…

Back in the day, I traveled a TON for business (three-to-four days/week, three weeks/month, 12 months/year). I should actually count the number of states my toes have touched.

Only a few places I visited were glamorous. Typically insurance company home offices are in armpit towns or cities (I hope never to return to the slaughterhouse smell of Sioux City, Iowa).

My Mileage Plus account was burgeoning. Premier status had perks and first class to Hawaii for my honeymoon was fantastic!

With territories on one coast or the other for years, I adored my time in the Midwest so I could drive. I loved a good long road trip. Alone.

So this one time, I had extended business in Detroit which adequately indulged my craving for a peaceful, easy drive. I left Motor City for home extremely full after lunch with clients. Dressed in a navy business suit and crisp blouse, I became a little uncomfortable with the cutting waistband of my straight skirt.

Why not undo the button? Satisfied only an hour that, too, became binding. So down went the zipper and the rest of the drive to downtown Chicago was pure bliss; radio cranked while cruising down I-94W. Singing!

Being "my turn" for dinner, I stopped at Lincoln Park Market on the way home. Pulling into the crowded lot, the only spots available were along the sidewalk by the bus stop.

Grabbing my purse, I swung open the door stepping out of my Prelude.

Air!

I felt AIR!

It was an uneasy and unexpected sensation.

Skirt now around my ankles, I was standing by the bus stop in hose and heels.

Fully aware, I never turned around to view the crowd. Yanking up my skirt, I strode into the store as if it was a routine shopping excursion.

Inside, a woman brushed by saying. “Sorry. I saw that.”

Lesson: Make sure your clothes are fastened before exiting your car.


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33-333 words using the third definition of uneasy3: marked by lack of ease : awkward, embarrassed <gave an uneasy laugh>


79 comments:

  1. Oh, how embarrassing! At least it's good for a funny story now, right? I enjoyed your story, thanks for sharing it!

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    1. It was embarrassing and I don't get that way often. I couldn't get in and out of the grocery store fast enough. Thought I'd make it out without incident until the woman busted me. Oh well. Chicago is a big city. Too bad the market is a small neighborhood thingy. Thanks for liking, Janna.

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  2. Totally seamless or seemless - now that's the way to do it...yeah!

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    1. Definitely both! Had no choice but to strap on some nerve and go in. Couldn't go home empty handed. It was MY turn after all.

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  3. Ahh! That's hilarious. Triple hilarious. I can totally imagine you getting out of your car like that. And I love the cut scene with "air!". If it were a movie, it would start with your face, then pan down.

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    1. My skirt had been undone for hours. Completely forgot until I felt an odd and inappropriate breeze. That's kinda how the scene went down as I looked to my feet more quickly than slowly panning! I was laughing as I walked into he store. What else is a girl to do when an entire bus stop of young professionals has seen her undies?

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  4. I should be sleeping but I'm laughing. Just didn't expect the ending.

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    1. I'm glad I've kept you up laughing, Peaches. I didn't expect the ending either!

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  5. Thanks for sharing what must have been an embarrassing situation at the time.

    Some lessons only get learned the hard way. :-)

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    1. Thanks. It was an easy lesson learned. Never happened again ;-)

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  6. Haha! The ladies' equivalent to getting caught with your pants down! Acting cool was your only option. I wonder why that woman felt the need to tell you she saw this. As if you didn't know. Great story!

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    1. Essentially the same, I suppose! I used to do cool well. Not sure how I'd handle it today! Ya...why did she have to say anything. I would NEVER have breathed a word (might have smiled at her, though :-))

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    1. How 'bout it! Made me LOL at the time, too!

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  8. Hahah how embarrassing. Why did someone TELL you they saw that? Totally unnecessary!

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    1. I don't remember being super embarassed UNTIL she told me she saw. We girls are supposed to stick together, not call each other out on stuff like that. If I were a certain type of person, I might have whispered "B%$tch" under my breath. I didn't!

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  9. Oh how embarrassing. But you handled it well.

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    1. Thanks, Ruby! I tried! There's only so much you can do about a situation like that. Thank goodness I was young and more carefree!

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  10. hehe doesn't it just figure that that's what will happen! :)

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    1. Yep! When you least expect it, the funny stuff happens. Then all you're left to do is laugh at yourself. I'm pretty good at that...laughing at myself.

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  11. That could have totally happened to me. I love the bliss followed by the realization. All that travel...sounds so hard to me. Mostly because I hate travel.

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    1. Non-binding clothes after a huge meal = BLISS!

      I loved travel then as I love it now. As much as I love "home", I can feel totally at home in a great place too!

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  12. LOL!!!!!! And to make matters worse someone TOLD you they saw that. LOL! I'm going to have to try to do this one. So you worked in insurance? The armpit town reference was funny. I worked in insurance and traveled quite a bit.

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    1. What a witch now that I'm really thinking about it!

      Yes, I worked first for an insurance company (State Farm) then, for years, I sold software programs to large/mid-sized insurance companies. NYC, Philly, LA, San Fran were the perks. Other cities...not so much! However, I did like Minneapolis, Kansas City, but had to spend 6 weeks in Topeka (not so great) and Sioux Falls, SD.

      What did you do?

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    2. I was in employee benefits (consulting). I've submitted my post about one of my really important jobs ;-)

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    3. Also thank you because this post came to mind after I read yours.

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    4. Well, now I'm headed over to read! I'm glad to help with ideas. I get them from others (you) all the time!!!

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  13. Big OOPS!! :)but at least you had on heels, so you were workin it.

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    1. Yes, HUGE oops! The heels helped pull the whole thing off! Maybe that's why I have a thing for heels to this day....in case it ever happens again?

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  14. That woman was a witch! I would have said something nice to make you feel better, like "don't worry about it, it happens to me all the time!"

    I once wore a skirt that was too big for me to a class in college. And of course, I was giving a speech. I didn't want to keep hitching it up, so I ignored it. My speech finished with it halfway down my thigs. Thankfully I had a slip on!

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    1. Me, too! Even if it didn't happen to me all the time, I'd say something nice.

      Oh My GOD! That is hilarious. So you know the easy breezy feeling, too! I had to give so many speeches in college in front of auditoriums full of people (part of my marketing major), thank goodness for the podiums. Wish you'd have had one! And I'm happy for your slip! Lesson: Never give a speech in a skirt without a slip because it might shimmy down!

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  15. Random story inspired by your post: Once I accidently backed into a car in the Target parking lot. It was just a little tap -- no damage. I got out and checked. So then I just drove away and someone else drove by, rolled down their window and screamed at me, "I SAW THAT!" I sped away. Funny how life's little moments can transform themselves into helpful lessons in your post. From a writing standpoint (I'm a teacher; sorry), I would have liked your voice to come across a bit more.

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    1. BUSTED! I liked your story.

      Thanks for your feedback, Angela. I should have started this post with the Trifecta rule of a 333 word max. This story started out at over 500 words. It was challenging to pare it down to 333. My voice had a whole lot more to say but I thank you for your supportive and constructive comment!

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  16. Just this morning I dropped off my kids at school, walked with my son to his classroom because I'm reading with the kids today. I'm waiting while the kids put away their things and I'm waiting for instruction when I notice my top button is undone and my bra very exposed. I don't know how many parents/kids saw, but I was definitely embarrassed.
    Anyway, I enjoyed this post. It made me laugh and cringe all at the same time. :)

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    1. Believe me, I just laughed AND cringed for you! Been there done THAT as well. It's happened to the best of us. Those pesky top buttons! Thank for enjoying the story.

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  17. Wow. I'm impressed that you had the nerve to continue on into the store. I would have driven away as fast as my car could peel out of there! But you did get a good story out of it, and you told it well.

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    1. Thanks, Louise. Back in those days, I didn't get embarrassed easily and I had to bring dinner home to the family. My turn! There's this certain amount of anonymity that goes with living in a big city and all kinds of stuff happens all the time. I wasn't worried I'd run into anyone again. Or at least that's what I told myself.

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  18. I would have got back in the car and drove off in tears. You are alot braver than me!

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    1. Oh no! I was pretty resilient back then and it was the city, big and anonymous...somewhat. I figured the likelihood of running into the same people, in the market, was slim. I was playing the probabilities.

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  19. Oh my goodness!! I can't tell you how many times I've partially undressed on the way home and I'm feeling so lucky right about now!!

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    1. Don't do it! But, obviously, you've remembered! It's those long trips where you forget. Yes, you're lucky! Thanks for visiting, Michelle.

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  20. Too funny. So much for "It doesn't hurt unless someone sees it!"

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    1. Kind of the same as "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" But there was a documented sighing so that negates all of this!

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  21. Bless it. I've come too close to being partially naked in a crowd, but never actually felt the air!

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    1. If you've felt the breeze, you know it. That was one of a few such situations in which I've found myself.

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  22. I'm glad you didn't end up on YouTube - or did you? Did you check? Funny story that I can very much relate to - driving alone, making yourself comfortable. As others have said I find it particularly amusing that someone told you they witnessed your embarrassing moment. People are funny. Great use of the word.

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    1. This was years ago when I was a fine young professional and pre-YouTube. I will admit there are two confirmed (within the last year) YouTube videos out there of me lip syncing songs. I think that's it though.

      Who doesn't unbutton in the privacy of their home or car? And why would that woman say anything to me unless she would commiserate? Funny, for sure! Thanks for liking, Stephanie!

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  23. I loved this! I could feel the air on my skin when you stepped out of the car. Well done!

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    1. Thanks, Cat! I still have the memory of that airy sensation!

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  24. Ahhh!! I think I would have driven to another store! It sounds like that was back in the pre-smart phone era, so at least it wasn't "caught on tape"!

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    1. Parking is a bitch in the city so you take the spot you can get. I was in a hurry. Another store wasn't an option. Yes! Pre-pre-any cellular device. I don't need/want any of the stupid stuff I do to end up on the www.

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  25. Ha ha! Too funny! Good for you for waltzing right in like you owned the place!

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  26. Love your reaction - I probably would've gotten back in the car and driven away!

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    1. Thanks, Kelly! Maybe you wouldn't. You never know how you'll react when your skirt falls off. Probably a unique experience every time ;-)

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  27. "Air. I felt AIR!" - That cracked me up. Good for you strutting right on into the store!

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    1. Odd and untimely feeling...that air! Thanks for cracking up with me!

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  28. Yeah - I don't know that uneasy would have covered it. Too funny now though!

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    1. More awkward than anything. Very funny now as I look back and write about it!

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  29. Oh, no! And that is something I would do, too. Yikes!

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    1. We all wish to be comfy in the privacy of our own cars, right? Just have to remember what gets undone must get re-done! Yes, YIKES!

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  30. This is one of those horrible-at-the-time stories that turns into a priceless story! Thanks for the laugh! The closest I've come is losing my bathing suit bottom in a wave (but the water hid me ;)

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    1. Yes, it was uncomfy at the time. I've lost a bottom in an ocean wave and from a ski fall (water of course ;-))

      Lost a dress once from the end of a pier while skinny dipping. Blew off into the lake, clothes sink, and the current must have taken it because I never did find it even after searching the next day!

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  31. That is hilarious! You are a super good sport for sharing your story AND not tripping the woman who told you she saw you.

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    1. Should have stuck my foot out r thrown a tomato past her. Didn't!

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  32. Man, there is no excuse for POINTING OUT that people saw something like that! Let the poor person pretend. I admit, I have changed in a moving car but thankfully I remembered to fasten everything before I got out.

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    1. Right? I'm with you here! Let e pretend I'm normal and nothing happened. I'm fine in my own La La land. I worked in high school at a department store and on Saturday evenings I had to go right from work to the basketball games to cheer. My mom hung my uniform in the car and I changed on the road while driving to the games. Glad you get this, Annabelle.

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  33. "Sorry. I saw that." Priceless! I can't remember being naked in public... But I did pee in a boyfriend's bed once.

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    1. I had on some hose so technically....

      Naked in public...see three comments above. No other times I'm remembering. Oops on the potty incident. Never done that. So you know embarrassed and uncomfortable.

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  34. Awesome! Wow. So funny. So real. Thanks for making me smile.

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    1. Thanks, Andee! Very real and funny...now. Happy to make you smile.

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  35. Love it! At least you noticed right away :-)

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  36. Wow, you handled that well. Do you wish you had been wearing a slip or do you always go without a slip?

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