Friday, February 3, 2012

Peaking Early...Figures

Yesterday I wrote about "Things That Make Me Really Happy" and what appeared to be the makings for one of the most fabulous days in a while. Started out that way. I had the good Karma thing going on all over the place. I should have kept my mouth shut and relished privately in my good fortune.

Sadly, I peaked early or rather, my day did. It became purely average from the minute I pushed the publish button for the post.  That's when things began to really annoy me.

Why do your problems at college become my problems? Hell Week is called Hell Week for a reason so stop whining and suck it up. I was in a sorority. They gave me presents.

Stop asking for so much money. I'm retired right now. I don't have any, or not any I'm choosing to spare. Ask dad.

Don't text me at 2am and be mad at me the next morning when I don't reply! What in the world could I have done for you in the middle of the night? You know who you are. Arrow pointing up.

When your text woke me up at 2am, I realized I was going to be hung over in the morning. Thrilled to have the girl home but overindulged in fine red. Scott's fault for opening another bottle when we asked. Maybe I'm turning into a light weight?

I hate waking up hung over. It makes me very crabby. Thank God I set my alarm.

Why do people in a hurry for the train push in front of you at the coffee shop and then pay no attention to the fact that they let the heavy door slam shut in front of you...John Yeager, it's not your first offense. This is a small town, pal! Start walking earlier.

Why does someone have to be on my ass when I'm driving down a residential street going at least 5 miles over the speed limit? If I tap my brake, you're going to have a heart attack. 

Stop texting and driving while I'm around you. You aren't paying attention and you're swerving. By the way, its against the law in the state of Illinois. Also, you can't be on the phone within a mile of a school. Our town is one square mile, therefore, it's a problem.

Why do some people lack spacial awareness and have absolutely no clue where their body is in relation to mine? It's rude, especially at the gym. I'm taking about you, Tina! It's not all about you.

Lastly, back to a "your problem is my problem". Just because you don't have a driver's license (See "Bail Your Kid Out of Trouble or Not?") and your state I.D. is expired, it is not my top priority today to drive you to the DMV, sit there for two hours, so you can get a new one because you want to go to a bar for Super Bowl back at school.  This is not how I envisioned our afternoon.

Okay, rant over! Got it all out. There's more, like stop moving my stuff, but I'm taking a few deep breaths, pouring another cup of coffee and will happily start your laundry, Princess Pea. Did I mention, I abso-f'in-lutely despise laundry.

Hey everyone...Have a great day. 


  1. O.M.G. This sounds like my life, except I couldn't force me kid to college if his life depended on it. The 2 AM texting - all the time, and to think that when he lived here he couldn't give us the time of day LOL!
    I so get this ... you have no idea.
    Hon, I feel your pain. And laundry? I quit doing that years ago. Eventually they figure it out. ;)

    1. Yep, don't get the time of day much from him UNLESS he needs something and he was my needy kid when home. Now he says he needs his independence and to try not to smother. I am not a smotherer!

      Laundry is one of my bribes. If you come home to visit, mama will do your laundry. It works! She brought two loads, not too bad.

      Glad somebody understands my rants! Thanks.

  2. OK, that was suppose to be "MY" kid, not me kid. Pirates have not taken over the poop deck just yet.

    1. This cracked me up and I knew what you meant!

  3. Oh, the hung over headache. And the tailgaters (who I sometimes do tap the brake for), and phone users while driving. THAT burns me up. There is no person so important enough to distract you from operating a vehicle safely. And I'm giggling at how you think his life at college is not your life. Bwahahahahaha.

    1. I am a brake tapper, I admit!

      Yep, he wants his independence until he needs something. He knows I can work my way around anything so he does actually need and want me. On his terms of course!

  4. Phew. Get it all out!! You live in a town that is ONE SQUARE MILE? Wow. I'm amazed. xoxo

    1. It actually felt really great to get a good bitchin' in.

      I actually live in a suburb (we call them towns) 20 miles from Chicago. It's on the train line for the city commuters. Our suburbs run right after another so just outside my one mile town are three more I can walk right into.
      Thx for the visit!