Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Un-cool, Part Two


If you’re like me and your kids are nearly adults, you’ve spent most of their lives leading by example. Teaching them how to treat others with genuine kindness and respect, act with high moral standards. Do what’s right.

While doing this I whispered to the cool, hip one, “Your turn will come. Now’s not the time.”

The voice inside shouts to the dinosaur currently paying my body’s rent. “But when?” 

“Dinosaur? I take offense! Soon. Be patient.”

Watering them lovingly for years, they've grown into gorgeous saplings. I’ve done my job and it’s time to cast them free. Experiment with life, shoulder consequences and develop healthy, lasting relationships.

Guess who gets to come out to play now? Meeeeeee! Myself. The same mom, just funnier and more rambunctious. 

By now, my friends have told them stories about what I used to be like. They’re intelligent enough to know (because they’re my kids after all), there’s more to mom than meets the eye.

But it’s better to let out “cool and hip” me slowly. Don’t want anyone to freak.

Testing it out, I start belting out songs and seat dancing while driving together.

“Mom, you know the words to this song?”

“I’m down with this stuff.” (They don’t need to know it’s a remake)

“Ummmm. Wrong.”

Next step….Hit the dance floor at a college party.

Amanda says, “Whoa! Take it easy there, Mom! You’re not as good as you think!”

“Oh yeah! Dance with meeeeeee!!! I’ve had two beers. Watch me bust this move!”

“Matt! Get her to stop! NOW!”

On a roll, I try sprinkling in some language, including some “swears”, to spice things up. What did we used to say?

I know.

“I’m bad to the bone. Oh, don’t have a cow. Take a chill pill! Am I in deep shit?”

“Mom, you sound ridiculous. Plus you don’t swear. You’re not even good at it.”

“Wanna fucking* bet?”

It’s all in the 'tude.

Their friends thought I was cool.

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Blogger's Note: This piece is almost entirely fiction... except for possibly the swearing and the things I've done right in raising my kids, of course. I'm way more chill than this! And dare I say cool.

*Just so it’s clear, they were definitely of driving age before the f-bomb passed my lips in their presence….I think! I should ask them.

The writing challenge was to use the third definition of the word Dinosaur: 3. one that is impractically large, out-of-date or obsolete.

17 comments:

  1. Hahaha! This is great. You had me cringing right along with your kids. I'm very "down" with this piece.

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    1. Well, thanks. I'd never get invited back if I did any of that. I do dance, though, just not out of control. And I do know a lot of their music...love some, hate some. Glad you're "down" and understood my humor (my disclaimer helped?)

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    2. Just to clarify, I meant I was cringing with your fictional kids.

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    3. Well, the kid part isn't fictional. They do exist and go to college and know me far too well and like me and want me around because I DON'T embarrass them. Truly!

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  2. Heheh...kids always think they cornered the market on cool, don't they? I have a feeling that your kids already know that you're cool!

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    1. Yep! And I'm not bragging but...they do.

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  3. Hehehe...I remember the first time my mom swore in conversation. I was an adult, but it still surprised me. I'm not counting on being cool to my kids when they are grown up :)

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    1. There comes a point when the tables shift and you can be yourself, the real you, and they've know you long enough and they are smart enough to understand the difference between the grown up version of "mom" versus the raising me right "mom". You can be friends, even good friends, once the raising is done.

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  4. Replies
    1. Thanks, BA. This brought out my crazy and I'm not sure why. Kinda got away from me!

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  5. I wonder if my own kids will look at me someday and just shake their head. "Mom, you are just not cool."

    Probably :)

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    1. I get eye rolls, too. As long as I still get invited and they want to hang with me (as they often do now that they're older), I know I haven't been too un-cool. It's cyclical during their growing up years. Sometimes you'll be cool and other times their worst enemy particularly when you're in the "no means no" stages and there's lots of those. Can't always be their friend.

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  6. Loved this Gina. I've always made a valiant effort never to be her. But I'm not sure if I've succeeded 100 percent! :D

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    1. Truthfully, they've probably heard and seen some stuff when I'm with my friends and my guard is totally down. When I'm with THEIR friends, I toe the line for the most part but always have to sprinkle in a little bit of unexpected fun.

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    2. Oops! I almost forgot my manners. Thank you so much for liking this, Linda.

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  7. My favorite part is the "Wanna fucking bet?" I have to be honest. Too funny. I love the idea of letting a little bit of the cool out at a time, to keep an even keel. Great job with the prompt.

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    1. That's probably my favorite, sassy part too. Steam needs to come out sometimes but you can't go freaking anyone out. Thanks!

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