Mama
Kat’s Writing Prompt:
1.) Share something your child taught YOU about parenting.
*******************************************
So
for the gazillionith time I will tell you that my kids, 19 and 21 years of age,
are very different from each other. Day and Night. Black and White. Yin and
Yang but not necessarily complementary, etc., etc., etc…….
I
have learned so much from each of them and, of course, completely opposite and
different things.
Today,
I’d like to share something that Matt taught me.
He’s
my gregarious and compassionate one. Also bright, charming, and affectionate
with a hug for everyone. He’s my fly-by-the-seat-of–his-pants kid who lives in
the moment and never looks before he leaps. His laugh is infectious. He doesn’t hold grudges and he’s
present. Matt is passionate about life and has the capacity to love very
deeply; it’s just in him.
Now,
I’m telling you all of his strengths but with this child, the highs are oh-so
high and the lows are crab-appleness at it’s finest. Quite often he’s a totally
pain in the ass. And far from perfect but I wouldn’t (well maybe) change a
thing about him because those great times are equivalent to a freshly minted bar
of shiny gold or a beautiful rainbow. You just might have to put up with some stuff to reap these rewards sometimes.
One
of our favorite family movies is Groundhog Day. You know, the one starring
Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. Somehow, we regularly fall into it on the tube
without even looking. Happiest to catch it at the beginning, we’ll sit down to
watch it at any point. Someone will yell, “Hurry! Groundhog Day is on!” and we
cuddle up on the couches to watch. And of course, there’s a big fight as to who
gets the big comfy chair (that person gets the dog!).
“On February 2,
1992, Phil, Rita, and Larry are sent on an assignment that Phil especially
loathes: the annual Groundhog Day festivities in Punxsutawney, PA, where the
citizens await the appearance of Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog who will
supposedly determine the length of winter by his ability to see his own shadow.
Phil is eager to beat a hasty retreat, but when a freak snowstorm strands him
in Punxsutawney, he wakes up the next morning with the strangest sense of déjà
vu: he seems to be living the same day over again. The next morning it happens again,
and then again. Soon, no matter what he does, he's stuck in February 2, 1992;
not imprisonment nor attempted suicide nor kidnapping the groundhog gets him
out of the loop. But the more Phil relives the same day, the more he's forced
to look at other people's lives, and something unusual happens: he begins to
care about others. He starts to respect people, he tries to save the life of a
homeless man, and he discovers that he's falling in love with Rita and
therefore wants to be someone that she could love in return.”
As
a parent, don’t you sometimes feel you are reliving the exact same day over and
over and over again?
So
what is it Matt taught me about parenting?
This
boy, now a man, taught me to start each day fresh as if it were a clean slate.
This child always woke with a smile from the time he was an infant, ready to
begin his day with enthusiasm (except for some of those teen years).
Don’t wake up mad at anybody (my kids or husband or friends or parents). Choose to begin the day, again and
again and again, happy. There is always a new adventure, whether big or small, waiting for me.
So
on days when, as a young mom of toddlers then teens (and even now), I woke up grumpy or wanted
to stay pissy forever, I would see his gorgeous blue eyes and beautiful face
and remember.
Today
is a clean slate.
Dump
the baggage from yesterday.
Be present so you don't miss the moments.
Smile
big and bright.
Living
with him has been like Groundhog Day, the movie. While many days may seem
mundane and repetitive (doesn’t everyone feel this way sometimes?), it’s up to
us to find and make new moments for ourselves each and every day. And make a
choice to start it fresh.
24 comments:
What a fantastic post. I tend to hold grudges as a parent (I know very immature of me) and still wake up feeling annoyed about something the kids did yesterday. Kids wake up fresh and happy and start the day-anew, all is forgiven.
oh i LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. i hope you share it with Matt.
sidenote: i used to live where Groundhogs day was filmed! :) and why am i just now realizing you're in Chicago? ME TOO. the movie was filmed in Woodstock, IL... but i'm guessing you know this since you're such fans and in Chicago so .. never mind. :D
Your post on Ground Hogs Day was fun to read and very enlightening. I love that movie but never thought of it in the way you described it. I thought it was wonderful how you talked about your son and the lessons he taught you. Ground Hogs Day (our every days) should be started out fresh, happy, positive...always. Thanks!
They do wake that way. Well, one of mine does. It taught me to do the same, at least make the attempt. I usually have the opportunity to hang out in my bed for 10-15 minutes before I get up. I can often get my head right before I hop up. I've grown to be a pretty cheery morning person and even more so after my coffee! Now later in the day, you might see me really annoyed or re-annoyed (not a word?) but I start out with the premise of fresh!
Thanks, Christina! I will tell him for sure. We have talked about it before!
I DID know it was filmed in Woodstock. I have lived in Chicago my whole life (outside of college). We now live about 25 miles straight west in one of the tiniest suburbs. Craving city life though! Are you in the city?
I don't know why it came to me but it all did when I thought about what Matt has taught me...this among many other things. Just the repetition of life and how to break out of a rut or a seemingly dull routine, whatever. But really, it's about making a conscious effort to begin MY day fresh and happy (if only for a few moments and I will take that any day).
Thanks for coming by, Carol!
That is great. And I do try and think that most days...the lunch time rolls around and I look at what I have (or haven't accomplished.) You are so right. I need to look at each moment as a new time to start fresh.
He's all about living in the present. I try too. It pays to have some thoughts into the next few moments but it's really, for me, about appreciating right then and there. Fresh starts are awesome. So is being happy when we can truly pull that off!
Speaking of dejá vu, all over again, this is two days in a row I've encountered something about Groundhog Day ---and it isn't even February. But I loved your post. I don't have children of my own, but have learned much from my students. And I like how you related your son's behavior to the family's favorite film.
You can find my contribution to Mama Kat here:
http://proartz.blogspot.com/2012/08/butterfly-kisses-poetry.html
And just in case you are interested, the other post I found (very short and very funny) is here: http://museunleashed.com/2012/08/29/see-a-monster-i-created-a-monster/#comments
good for for for seeing lessons for life in everything....we can always learn something from everyone when we take the time to think! i tell my family that is my life sometimes groundhog day...i clean the table and counters like 700 times a day..over and over and over.
No way!!! You probably know more than me then because you deal with a larger quantity of kids! It's what it's like with him, in both great and challenging ways....Groundhog Day!!!
I'm coming over to read yours then over to the other one. Thanks so much for stopping by, CJ.
I thought all of us could relate the daily grind of life to Groundhog Day, the movie. Days seem to happen over and over and over again. And if I didn't look at the calendar or notice the change in seasons, I might well think I've repeated a day. Again!!!
This has a very nice message that we all need to keep in mind. Me, in particular! This is a beautifully written piece, inspired by much love and respect. Good for you for raising him and now, appreciating him.
He was quite the challenge to raise especially for all of his character strengths (particularly his spunk!). However, the kid CAN love. It will be interesting to see what path he chooses or finds in life. He would make an outstanding Peace Corp worker, salesman or a teacher. I'm hoping for teacher. He'd be an amazing coach as well.
This put a huge smile on my face as well. I too have a son! Groundhog Day is the perfect analogy. Well done!
Thanks May!!! He's so cool but so very spirited. Never wanted to squash that but at times it was a LOT to handle. It thought it was a perfect analogy for him as well!
Great post Gina. These back to school mornings feel like Déjà Vu though - or Ground Hog day. Did you brush your teeth, did you wash your face? No you didn't. Did you put deoderant on ......... on so on.....
Thanks, Kenya. That's exactly how it feels, right? I had the same conversation pre-school with Matt for years. Over and over again. He better do all those things now or no one will talk to him.
Chloe Jeffreys has left a new comment on your post "Groundhog Day, The Movie And What I Learned From M...":
I'm also the mom of grown children (21 and 23) and I understood every word you wrote. I've learned so much from my children--including plenty of stuff I didn't want to learn--but I know I'm better for all of it.
Posted by Chloe Jeffreys to Does Anyone Care What I Write? at September 1, 2012 6:50 PM
Hi Chle. Thanks for commenting. I'm just a few years behind you! I'm glad you get it. I, too, have learned many things I cared not to know but agree I'm much better for every single thing and every single minute. Thanks for stopping by!
This sounds great. This is very well written and inspirational for every parents.
Thanks for visiting, Becca! I thought most parents would relate.
yep, i'm in the city craving suburban life! :D
We should house swap for a while to get our fix in!
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