Friday, September 7, 2012

"Nothing" and "Fine"



For this weekend's Trifecta challenge, they provided the first 33 words and asked us to add 33 of our own to move the story along.  



The last strains of sunlight lingered in the corners,

Grasping every available point of refraction. 

She slid her fingertips along the glass

Wondering if this was all there ever was.

Or could be.

“Nothing.”

He accepts it.  Always.

Never changes.

Her mind screams…Where are "we"?

“How do you feel?” He presses.

“Fine.”

Never changes.

“Wait! Can I throw in ‘Asshole'?” She inquires.

“Sure. Better?”

“Definitely!”

**********************************

Author’s Note: This is Fiction. In our household, we don’t call each other names (not even jerk, well maybe jerk and maybe as a joke and maybe only once or twice but that’s about it!) and answers are never the same, guaranteed.

30 comments:

  1. This is very good. You've captured a couple's routine conversation and then added a cool zinger. Great take on the prompt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Far too often "nothing" and "fine" are lazily used to respond. I'm guilty at times too. Just felt like adding a swear at the end because, in reality, I thought maybe this girl might feel better getting a zinger in.

      Delete
  2. LOL! I've been reading your Trifecta responses long enough, I finally participated. Enjoyed yours - can't wait to read the others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! You have been reading looooong enough and I'm thrilled you are joining the fiction world or whatever you choose to write about week to week! I love everything you write (and you know, especially about your dad!) Thanks for liking!

      Delete
  3. i feel like i've had this course of conversation one time too many. but mostly because we're both too stubborn to say anything further! haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Believe me, I've had it go down that way too. There is a stubbornness to it definitely. An I'm not sharing kind of thing. Childish?

      Delete
  4. This was neat. I love that she adds the word and that he doesn't get offended.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I think he's just glad to get some kind of feeling out of her so he's okay with it.

      Delete
  5. I like your use of dialogue in this one. Not a lot of people did that one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! You never know what people get in their minds with these prompts.

      Delete
  6. Caught in a claustrophobic routine. Never changes. I like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Precisely. Claustrophobic routine sounds much better than rut. Doesn't change until someone does. Changes things up.

      Delete
  7. Nice. A refreshing take on what seems a routine conversation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Ruby. Yes, routine except her addition.

      Delete
  8. Throw "whatever" in there and this could've been one of our discussions :) I like the conversation, it made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you laughed. I did, too, when I wrote it. Give me a higher word count or one more sentence and I'd work in the "whatever" because it's in the same word group as "nothing" and "fine"!

      Delete
  9. The snappy dialogue made this come alive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much. I like snappy!

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. All too common conversation, I think. Thank you.

      Delete
  11. Surprise! I loved that she finally decided to change the conversation. You captured that back and forth perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Someone has to change things up. I like to be kept on my toes with conversation but it's easy for this to happen in real life. I have loads of experience with that back and forth (a quarter century to be exact).

      Delete
  12. I have been in that relationship before. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet most of use can find some familiarity with this. It's called lazy or checked out or pissed off at something you're not divulging! IMO

      Delete