It
was a nippy fall night in the early 80’s at a big college in Illinois. Knowing I
wouldn’t make time the rest of the weekend to study for midterms, I told my friends
to head to the party without me. I’d show at some point; I always did.
Arriving
just before midnight, I found her sitting on the driveway crying convulsively. Mascara
streaked her pale cheeks. Her beautiful golden hair looked like a rat's nest and deciphering
her words was nearly impossible. She said she’d been waiting for me all night.
“Shouldn’t
have…don’t know what to do…it was his idea…”
I
knelt down to get a better look at her in the dark as my own eyes began welling
up.
“What happened?”
She continued to sob.
As
I lifted her up by the armpits, I remember thinking she felt like a life-sized Raggedy
Anne doll. Dragging her inside through the crowded room, I quickly locked both
of us in a bathroom.
“Now
tell me what's going on? Did someone hurt you? Do I need to call the police?”
Spinning
around with flailing arms, she lost her balance. Grabbing hold of my sweater and
the shower curtain at the same time, she pulled us backwards into the bathtub. We hit our heads hard on the ceramic tile.
It was then I realized she wasn’t sobbing anymore. In fact, she was laughing hysterically.
It was then I realized she wasn’t sobbing anymore. In fact, she was laughing hysterically.
“I
ate mushrooms. Then there were too many people here and you weren’t. And I was
alone and I freaked out.”
“You are kidding me! That’s the stupidest thing you've done.”
“You’re
mad at me?”
“I
thought you’d been raped. I was scared. Now I’m just pissed.”
Trying
to juggle school and our friendship, as fun as it was at times, wasn’t working
for me anymore. I was exhausted and it was only freshman year.
It was always the same old shit.
Over and over and over again.
Over and over and over again.
And
I needed my own life.
***************************
3: to handle or deal with usually several things (as obligations) at one time so as to satisfy often competing requirements <juggle the responsibilities of family life and full-time job — Jane S. Gould>
***************************
33-333
words for the third definition of:
3: to handle or deal with usually several things (as obligations) at one time so as to satisfy often competing requirements <juggle the responsibilities of family life and full-time job — Jane S. Gould>
42 comments:
Oh gosh! We all have had friends like this at one point or another in our lives haven't we? They are crazy and fun for a short time!
It was a nippy fall night in the early 80’s ... that's exactly how I remember the 80's too lol I wasn't expecting that!
sometimes friendship goes just so far. Good stuff, Gina
Hate to say it, but I was thinking..."kids."
I had a friend like this - totally exhausting (and it made me feel like a 'mom' waaaay before my time :))
I have had a few at different points in my life. Even one more recently in my 40s. It can be a lot of work. Thanks for reading!!!
The 80s were a crazy time. Different than now in so many ways. No technology, less fear, the whole sex, drugs and rock n' roll thing is more than a little bit true. I'm glad you were surprised!
Especially when you are constantly pushed and I wanted the pillar of responsibility or maturity at the time either. At times, I was a little out of my league. To say I learned a lot is a gross understatement.
Yeah, sometimes you have to "break up" with friends. Sounds like you made a wise decision.
Thanks, Jack! Just what I needed to hear with two kids in college. It's so different now, for them. I'm not sure if it's scarier now or was back then. You were in middle school in the 80s!
I had that "mom" feeling a few times in college and, believe me, I was not even remotely qualified for the job. It was enough watching out for myself (who could find her own trouble just fine).
We broke up after freshman year, for the most part. At times she was great and fun. Other times she would sit on her bed and scream at me. People are weird and complicated.
I think we had the same college roommate. MIne was exhausting.
You're a better juggler than I would have been. I'd wear myself out if I constantly had to be the rational one in a friendship.
She was! She was a close friend in high school but the "snakes" came out the minute we got to college together.
Well, if you knew me back then you'd know that I was way too busy with my own "things" to have time for her constant antics! I wouldn't say I was, or am, completely rational all the time.
I know someone like this now... though I wouldn't exactly call her a 'friend' for the reasons you detail above. I keep my distance. The emotion in this is very well expressed!
Yes, we don't have "friend's" like that anymore and good riddance. I don't have the patience and it's not fair. Be a grownup but she was young, away from home for the first time like me (but I was only 17 and she almost 19). I tried to understand but there's just so far you can push things.
I feel a little exhausted just reading about her. It's good being able to recognize when you need to move on.
I also started college in the 80s so...
I suppose you did! Being a former Math major, I should have extrapolated that!
Let me tell you...she was a balance of great fun and horrendous hassle. Sometimes it was difficult to decide what was more important to remember!
Blondie.... Hee hee
You must be bored down there in Fort Worth. Picking on fair hair(d) women...
Who me...
My two freshman roommates. I was terrified of them at first, eventually exhausted. God, the 80's were exhausting. (Love the bit when you find her.)
Nice job, Gina. It sounds like we can all relate. I remember my "breaking up" scene vividly. It involved police. And an ambulance. And, oddly, a cardboard box. Filled with vomit. Good times.
The 89s were exhausting. Maybe we all had/have whack jobs in our lives.
Yikes! What a disaster. This same person threw up in my purse once while I was driving her home in my car. Not cool!
Oh, we do such stupid stuff at that age, and it's so hard to know how to cope with the stupid stuff our friends do, much less our own!
As I recall, we solved the party problem by attending them en masse, though; I can remember very few parties I was ever at with less than five other members of my a cappella group present. Hard to get in too much trouble with that many sisters watching.
You've written about a great lesson in life we all have to face. This is a very well written story aside from the lesson. Great job!
This was a fascinating read! I'd read the whole book if there was one.
you led me right in with you - and then I thought, gosh, some people never outgrow this well beyond their freshman year...and I hate that I stuck around to know that - whew!
Damn... take me back, I did mushrooms once, and it was in the 80's. It was scary. You conveyed well the panic feeling of helping someone in distress, and then the frustration. Exhausted and only the first year of college. When I went to college, it was LSD, although I didn't try.
I did too. She wasn't the only one. However, I managed to take care of myself. Some people were too over the top and careless. We always went in groups but coming from the library, I was alone and being on whacky mushrooms, she isolated herself!
Thanks, lumdog. We learn lessons everyday, don't we?
Oh don't tempt me. I have so much material about my college years and the "things" girls did! So I appreciate you saying that you would be my audience. Be careful, I may just send you more!!!
I think in one way or another, we all know this. People, some people, make horrible choices and thank goodness they have friends around to help them out in their, constant, state of need.
I never did and thought I wanted to try them (back then) until that night! It was awful and she was a mess. Thanks for "getting" it. Things seemed to go in cycles back then, challenging mixed with smooth, boring (hardly ever) mixed with excitement. There were a few other things that were "big" back then too. All scary stuff!
How horrible!I would have run miles from such friends!You sure are a wonderful friend to take all this so coolly-I would have beaten the hell out of anyone who played such a prank on me!A fantastic piece of writing from you,
Gina:-)
Yep--that is how I remember the 80s. Great job setting the scene, lady!
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