Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Half Naked Sports Bars in NYC


Grabbing his suit coat from the back seat and flinging it over his shoulder, we headed for the parking garage elevator, which would whisk us to the 44th floor restaurant with expansive city views. The Everest Room was way out of our league but it was our first anniversary after all.

Just as the elevator doors began opening, my husband straightened his tie and put on the coat. A confused look crossed his face as the sleeves fell down to his fingertips. Looking closely at his coat, then the pants and back.

“Honey, they don’t match,” I said.

“Obviously, this isn’t my suit coat,” he said as we headed in for our reservation.

“The cleaners probably screwed it up.”

Sipping our glass of wine, reminiscing about the past year and slightly melancholy we weren’t technically “newlyweds” anymore, we dug through the coat pockets looking for clues.

Voila! Inside the breast pocket was a small stack of business card…in Japanese! My husband is not small and these coat sleeves were 4 inches too long for him. It must belong to the world’s tallest Japanese man.

I turned the card over in my hand and read the translation.

“This coat belongs to Bob McCarthy, Marketing Director, Waldorf Astoria, New York City. How in the world would you have a suit coat belonging to someone from New York?”

“I was in New York two weeks ago visiting clients. Remember?”

“I remember but how would you have his coat?”

“Well, my customers wanted to go to a particular sports bar after dinner. It had half court basketball. I played two-on-two against this really tall guy. We had our coats off. Must have switched them on the way out. I’ll call him tomorrow to see if he has mine.”

“What sports bar?” I asked since I was travelling to New York a lot as well.

“Just this popular place they wanted to go.”

“So what’s it called?”

“Scores, I think.”

“You think? SCORES is the one Howard Stern talks about all the time on the radio. The waitresses have huge boobs and they're naked from the waist up.”

“Yeah, that one. You’re going to New York in a few weeks. Maybe you could stop by the Waldorf and swap coats for me.”

“So you want me to return a coat you accidentally switched at a strip club while you were looking at boobs?”

“It's not a strip club. I hardly noticed the boobs. We were playing basketball.”

“Okaaaay. Set it up and I’ll decide if I can make time.”

Two weeks later, I walked into a strange man’s office to exchange my husband’s suit coat, which he absentmindedly swapped at a half naked sports bar.

“So where'd the mix up happen anyway?” I nonchalantly asked the tall guy.

“Some corner sports bar. I’m so happy to have it back. So is my wife!”

It was then I realized I wasn’t a newlywed anymore and I was okay.

My husband tells the truth.

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As always, Yeah Write is the place to spend your week reading fantastic stories by incredible writers. You'll laugh and you'll cry but will love every minute!

48 comments:

  1. WOW, what a story!!! And count your lucky stars your hubby tells the truth. The one and only time I went to a strip club with my hubby, lots of the dancers came up to him and said thank you for their new job requirements. Yep, gotta love a man who puts in implants for a livin'. Tough job but somebody's gotta do it.

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    1. Your guy puts them in??? He is very truthful always!

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    2. Yea girl, Uncle Jeffy is a plastic surgeon. Bet you never guessed that from a redneck like me. The best thang is, his neck is even redder than mine.

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  2. I would definitely take the truth any day!

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    1. Me too. Trusting him has never been an issue.

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  3. The truth keeps all out of trouble, doesn't it?? :)

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    1. As I tell my kids, it's always easiest to remember the truth. If you lie, you have to then remember what you made up.

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  4. You can't make this kind of stuff up. Great conclusion to come to, Gina!

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  5. Oh you got the keeper, that's for sure!

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    Replies
    1. I'll keep him and he's stuck with me ;-)

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  6. What an amazing story! So much more entertaining than most first anniversary tales.

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    1. It was funny. We told it to our daughter this week. She just shook her head and said, "I believe, Daddy!" Of course I do too!

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  7. There are still some good guys out there!

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  8. What a great story! You definitely got one of the good ones :)

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    1. Thanks, Samantha. I get a little tired of everyone always telling me he's the nicest guy they know ;-)

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  9. I was scared you would say Scores! Great story and btw I love Everest. Did you have the chocolate souffle? Delish.

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    1. It was so funny because I listened to Stern a lot back then. I trust him and didn't care. I knew he was telling me the truth. Of course we had the souffle!!!

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  10. Whew! That was funny, but relieving to see the conclusion you come to!

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    1. If I had any doubt, it might not have turned out as well. He is innocent as the day is long.

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  11. Ha!!! Love this line: “So you want me to return a coat you accidentally switched at a strip club while you were looking at boobs?”

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    1. I can get pretty cheeky when motivated to do so. I know he wasn't looking...probably acknowledged their existence then played bb. He's much too much a sports guy. I never worry.

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  12. Love this post, too funny. I love the honest, frank conversations you have with your husband.

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    1. When you've been married a long time, you've had lots of practice with communication. He's used to my frankness, frankly!

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  13. Nice :) Howard Stern is such a fan of that place. Too bad your husband didn't see him that night!

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    1. It was always being shut down and now it's closed for good.

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  14. He hardly noticed the waitresses?? hahahahah.

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    1. That's his story and he's stuck with it for 23 years. Ya, right!

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  15. Hilarious story! One of the funnier and more interesting testaments to trust I've read in a while.

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    1. Thanks. It has always been funny especially when Mr. Innocent tells it with his cute little smirk.

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  16. Oh, funny! I laughed out loud in my office!

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  17. Great story, Gina! You obviously got a keeper.

    I too would much rather know the truth, even when I don't like what I hear.

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    1. He's the one who hears things he doesn't like because I tend to find trouble where he's a clean cut, straight as an arrow kind of person. He definitely balances me!

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  18. Haha! Yep, he's a good one. A truth teller in those circumstances can't be beat!

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    1. He's like a boy scout. All honor and truth!

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  19. Replies
    1. It certainly is a memory. One that's scorched in my brain.

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  20. I'll take the truth any day... it's always better than fiction!

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    1. My life is like one big novel or maybe a soap opera...

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  21. This is hilarious and also would have possibly resulted in some serious discussion at my house. It's like something that would happen in an episode of a TV show. But yes, I would much prefer the truth and love that your husband gave it to you. Also, loved that he said he didn't notice the boobs, he was playing BASKETBALL.

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    1. It was a very short discussion. I believe what he tells me. I also know the clients he was with. Nope, not a tv show. Just my regular life. He was playing basketball but he was also drinking beer. In order to get that beer, he'd have to ask a waitress. I really think he would be a little embarrassed to be having to talk with someone who didn't have a top on.

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  22. Bwah!!! Those are some good men, overall. We'll forgive the location...this time. Hilarious story!

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    1. 'Twas his first and last visit to Scores! He's a good one.

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