So these are the prompts this week at Mama’s Losing It. The Prompts:
1.) What are you reading?
The Sense of An Ending by Julian Barnes. It just came in the
mail today and it’s like having something shiny and new to play with.
2.) Dear Men, (an open letter…offer a word of advice, an
issue you’d like to address, or a solution to a problem for the opposite sex).
3.) Show us your kitchen!
I love my kitchen but, right now, it is not
picture worthy. Too much crap lying around and I don’t feel like cleaning up at the moment.
4.) Tell us about a time you were grounded…what did you
do? I got grounded pretty often for a while. And when I got grounded, I used to
do things like pierce another ear hole or something similar which became the
cause for a subsequent grounding.
5.) What made you laugh this week? I didn’t have a funny
week. At. All.
Now come on. With this
opportunity, what would you choose? I mean really. It’s like an open invitation
to get a little somethin’, somethin’ off our chests.
Well, I’m in. You don’t have
to ask twice. It’s a general letter
of course and not directly pertaining to anyone I know in my actual
and very real life.
Dear Man of My Dreams
(hereafter known as MMD),
I’ve been a life partner with
a member of the opposite sex for almost half my total years on this planet.
That’s a darn long time. And I truly believe we are both highly trained
professionals when it comes to this marriage thingy. And we both make mistakes. And
both aren’t perfect. And we both try hard to be kind. You’d agree, wouldn’t
you? Okay, no need to answer.
“I need to talk to you about
something. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. I just need you to hear me.
Understand or at least try to understand. I’m not asking you to agree with me but
if you did, that would be awesome. You don’t need to fix this or provide
excuses or reasons for the target of my venting.
Can I have a full on rant? I desperately need one to get this completely out of my system so I can move
on. Would you be willing to do that?”
And then you, MMD, say
something like this:
“Honey, of course. I'm all ears. Rant away.”
I promise it will be short-ish
and not directed at you. I’m sure it will include maybe an explicative or five ;-).
And then it would be great if
you, MMD, then said,
“Feel better, honey? Here, let
me give you a hug.”
And that would be it! Easy schmeasy!!!
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Signed,
Your Ever Loving Wife
21 comments:
Ha! This made me laugh. When I say ANYTHING to Lance he always get defensive. I could say "The sky is blue" and he would say "I didnt have anyting to do with that. Why are you blaming me" or I could say "wow, she looks hot" and he would say "I wasnt looking at her. I'll never watch that show again" ugh. frustrating. But I love him anyway!
I hope the husbands of the world are reading this, haha!
Oh, um, stopped in from Mama Kat's. :-)
Too funny. A fun read. Thanks for the laugh.
New reader from Mama Kat. <3 Stop by and see us at www.butterbeanschicpeas.blogspot.com <3
That would most definitely be refreshing! I hope that you reward your MMD when he does that--positive reinforcement, you know! :)
An ear to vent. And one that knows we are just venting like you said. That would be wonderful.
I usually get something along the lines of "What can I do about that?" or "That's not my fault" And I'll say, "It has nothing to do with you. I'm not asking you to do anything. I just need to talk about it with someone. Would you rather I did with someone else?" And of course, he says "Of course not!" I love him anyway but sometimes everything revolves around him (in his head, of course)
Thanks so much for stopping by! I will come over to visit you.
All I need is a listening ear sometimes. One I know just "hears" what I'm saying without trying to fix it. A hug goes a long way too.
i will come over to see you. Thank you for stopping by and enjoying my minny rant. I can really get it going if I put my mind to it!
Refreshing! That's the perfect description of what it feels like! Oh, I do. Big time.
I always start out with a "vent warning" and a disclaimer. Then about halfway through I have to remind MMD that it has nothing to do with him. He's getting better at it. I do it all the time for him and jump right on his bandwagon, if appropriate.
Sounds reasonable to me!
Yes, yes and yes. I think my now husband learned this lesson a bunch of years ago. We had been dating for a little over a year and I was studying for the New York Bar Exam. I was, predictably, a mess the entire summer because of lack of sleep, too much caffeine, and 14 hour a day study sessions. And for the first couple weeks when I would go on a rant about one thing or another he would try to calm me down and fix it and make the problem go away. But slowly he learned to just pass the tissues, listen, let me get it all out of my system, and then move on. I still have to offer a "this is not about you" reminder from time to time, but he is good at letting me just vent it all out when I need to.
This is great, Gina. I think it's a very reasonable request, and one I could write too. . . to the WMD (not to be confused w/ the other WMD that were never found). . . Why is communication so darn hard? Especially w/ the ones you're supposed to be closest w/?
the key line, that it doesn't need fixing...great stuff!
I think so.
I ALWAYS start the conversation with "this is not about you" but he wants to help and is a natural "fixer". I usually don't want to be fussed over. I'd like to just get it out sometimes without having to think about the solution.
I don't find communication difficult in general. But when one of you is upset about something, it's sort of natural to want to help or provide solutions. The hardest think is to know when to say nothing at all.
My guy is a fixer unless it's something he's upset about. He wants to rant and vent so I try to just stay quiet and listen. I will offer my two cents if I think the time is appropriate. Otherwise I say, "I agree. You are so right." Somethings can't be fixed or not right at the moment but still need to be expressed. Thanks for understanding.
Oh I would have had a story to tell for #4, I might have to re-prompt the prompt. Anyway, MMDs or not, they all need a lesson in just listening and not attempting to fix or suggest a solution ;-)
Well I want to hear the embarrassing moment so post it! It's always a work in progress, isn't it?
Post a Comment