The last drop drips down the drain,
finally giving you what you’ve wanted;
me leaving you alone,
forever.
(Hope I can do this
forever thing.
forever thing.
So infinite, it is.)
Because anything one-sided is always less
interesting, enjoyable, or satisfying.
And I’m tired.
24 comments:
GINA!!!! I'm so happy to see you back at yeah write! I love how you put that seed in there, that she still loves him (or he her), and maybe it won't be forever (although I say get out!). And I love your labels ;)
I love the ambiguity inherent in this piece, acknowledging the bathtub as a recurring theme in life for both cleansing and death.
"And I'm tired." Sums it all up yet leaves a thread behind. Lovely take.
"Hope I can do this forever thing" -- be with him forever OR end it forever?
Very intriguing. Excellent piece!
Hi Stacie!!!!! I've missed creative writing, although I have been journaling. I didn't have access to a computer for the last few months and was tired of writing on my phone.
This piece, in my mind, is definitely about a friendship that's lead to a bone weary exhaustion due to one-sidedness. Maybe we've all had them. I've not had many; I will say that, and not recently. As such, I went back and forth on which way the "forever" meant. I think she means going away forever, but that takes self-control. Don't know if this character has it in her to not cave. Thanks about the labels!
Exactly my vision with regard to the bathtub! And with any relationship, there's always ambiguity because we never really know what's going on inside anyone (even if they tell us).
Haven't we all been exhausted to the point of potentially, or actually, giving up at some time in a relationship? Someone once told me that forever is not a scorched earth, zero sum proposition (or something like that). I guess there's always that thought. Thank you so much, theinnerzone!
I initially thought of it as ending forever, but you never know with relationships. Isn't there oftentimes a tiny crack of a door or window left open?
Thank you so much for your comment, Katy!
Yay for you being back! I think the water down the drain is rather decisive.
Yes, it is (to both of your statements) because once it's down the drain, you can't get it back.
Yay, Gina!
Best title! Love the ambiguity. Pulling out the big guns. Forever. Infinite.
one-sided relationships are the worst. so draining indeed. (so nice to see you posting again!)
This one has really stayed with me this week. Haunting (but in a good way).
I love the title! (and everything else of course) But the title is great!
Katy,
Thank you for saying that. Even though this is a piece of fiction, it reminds me now of the one friend I "lost" about 8 years ago. I still see her, but it has never and will never be the same. Some people "get" friendships, and relationships. Others don't. Thank you for visiting!!!
Gina
Hahaha! Thanks Kymm. I loved the title too! And I love ambiguity. Yeah, forever is a very long time.
Thanks, Jen!
Yes, they are. When I was younger, maybe I didn't notice as much, or didn't care as much. As I've gotten "ahem" older, I am bored by it. I need interaction and connection. Quality, not quantity. (so nice to be posting again, and a computer helps with said posting. (Not that I'm making excuses, Jack!))
This is fantastic, Gina!
I got all goose-bumply at the last line. I admire your ability to lead the reader down a path and then let us choose (in our own minds) what has happened. So GOOD!
I can totally relate to your exhaustion and I know there is much more to the story.....
This is amazingly layered and penned (typed?) so beautifully! Wow.
Gina, welcome back - we've missed you! Great job with this poem - I love the image of the draining tub.
I love the way the draining bathtub ties in with an exhausting relationship.
You had me at the title. Love the interweaving of the gurgle down of water and the relationship too, I'm really there with you
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