Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Trifecta: The Stench

She woke to the stench of vomit.


A blasting headache, in a mostly dark, only slightly familiar hotel room.

She was sixteen. And a half.

She had on underwear. Hers, but not the same. And a tee shirt that wasn’t.

Her brother was supposed to be in this room too. This was family vacation after all.

Where was he?

Trudging to the bathroom, turning on the light, she winced.

Head hammering from the inside out.

Her hair was damp and messy. Mascara blackened her entire eyes. Dried drool stuck to the corners of her mouth.

Bending over, she dry-heaved violently into the toilet.

She laid her cheek on the cool, white tile of the bathroom floor, and drifted off.

Half dreams. Blurred memories. Rancid recollections.

Jeans wrestled.


Underwear tugged.


Then vomit.


And crying.

The sound of water running.

Complete wetness.

Peaceful blackness.

She awoke, this time, still on the bathroom floor to her brother’s shake. He was saying something about the trouble she was in.

What happened? She asked.

You drank whiskey. He gave it to you. You disappeared. Both of you.

What then? She asked.

He brought me to you. You were like an uncontrollable animal. Your jeans were off.

My underwear? These aren’t the ones.

He told me he tried but got scared. It was mom.

Did he…?

He said he didn’t.

Where is he now?

I beat the crap out of him. He’s gone.

He tried. I remember now.

I know. He admitted it.

It was my first time drinking.

I know. Mom and dad are waiting outside. You better get your shit together.  Expect the worse.

And she got the worst…

She got the grounding, the disappointment, the apology (although years too late) and the memories.


  1. Wow! The descriptions are so vivid, real. My head is pounding. I'm afraid to ask if this is autobiographical. Well done.

    1. Dude, not even sure from where this came. The deep, dark recesses, I guess. Or the books I've been reading. I had a headache after writing it.

  2. Love the perspective. Your short, sharp sentences leave nothing to the imagination, in a good way. Thanks for linking up and don't forget to come back and vote!

    1. Thanks. I never thought about writing it from the boy's POV. Interesting.

  3. love the pace of this, the voice too.

  4. Frightening to read and imagine-specially when you have a daughter a year older!I felt like shaking her myself!Fantastic take on the prompt Gina:-)

    1. Shaking her and kicking the crap out of the boy who would even think to take advantage of an incoherent girl. Sick! My daughter was very easy to raise through her teen years but we did have many hypothetical discussions about what could happen.

  5. Tough scene to consider. Those short, sharp sentences really punctuate the story. Good one, Gina.

    1. This stuff happens. To good kids, too. Thanks, Steph.

  6. This was vivid and frightening. It is scary what can happen when one loses their senses. We don't have a daughter, but as a parent of sons, I can say it would be devastating to find out my son could do something like that.

    1. It is frightening. Terrifying! It's something we have hammered home with our 20 year old son. Respect for girls/women at all times, no matter what. He's a very empathetic and sensitive sort. I would like to believe he would be the one providing the help in a situation like this (and I already know he has).

  7. Party girl that got lucky! Great pacing and tone, Gina. Took me back - way, way, way back - to that time where you think you know everything and you just know nothing!

    1. Party girl, I guess. I read it as a first experimentation with alcohol and how wrong something can go really fast! Thanks so much, kymm! There is that time when no one ever knows as much as you especially when you have some college experience under your belt. Foolish.

  8. Ouch. Very vivid and real. Excellent job!

  9. Sad.. but probably waking up in time...