This is a Trifecta sequel from a fictional story started awhile ago. 33-333 words for the 3rd definition of exhaust:
3a:
to consider or discuss (a subject) thoroughly or completely
b: to try out the whole number of <exhausted all the possibilities>
*********************
From:
Gabby B
Wed
2/18/13 12:41 PM
To:
William G
Dear
Will,
If
you were standing in front of me at this very moment, I would take both your
hands in mine. After pausing for a few moments to collect my thoughts, I’d shift
my eyes from your lips, where they perfectly line up, to look directly into yours.
My
voice cracking as I began, eyes burning with tears; you’d interrupt me saying I
think too much. Trying to head off my words. Knowing well what my shaky voice
means.
Pressing
my finger against your mouth (which, of course, you’d bite to throw me off), I’d say...
“Please
listen. Let me finish before I don’t.
You’ve
had a grip on me for so long; I have no memory of a time you didn’t completely
fill me. Sometimes it felt too much, not enough, too long and just right.
One
of us always holding on with white knuckles, timing was a stubborn acquaintance.
Being reckless more often than smart. Discounting sage advice, thinking "rules" never applied to us. Blind to everything but each other.
I love,
loved, being your distraction and you were mine alone. But being distracted from
our “real” lives isn’t helping anymore. Now it just hurts.
Don’t say we haven’t tried everything. We incessantly exhaust every conceivable
option, every single opportunity, every single time but we still haven't figured out a single version of “us” that's tangible. That ever really works.
What was once exciting and exhilarating is preventing us from being entirely satisfied with anything. Who, or what, is physically before us. Letting us move forward. Be present.
Now, it all seems futile.
Nothing left to grab.”
That’s
what I’d tell you if you were here.
Please
let go,
Gabby
From:
William G.
Wed
2/18/13 12:46 PM
To:
Gabby B.
No.
From:
Delivery Status Notification
Wed
2/18/13 2:48 PM
To:
William G.
Email
could not be delivered as addressed <gabbyb@gmail.com>. Message delivery failure.
**************************
30 comments:
I love the ending - an email delivery failure - great touch! She meant what she said... Nice work.
I love this! It's really good...
This is a wonderful piece of writing. I totally related in more ways than I can express! If this is fiction, then you have amazing insight. I love this.
Ha! Nice.
Thanks! Now she has to change her cell number. She means it. Time to move on.
Thank you, Bo. I appreciate it!
You are too kind, lumdog. I love when I relate to something, feel it too, even if its not a perfect feeling. It's feeling something. It is fiction so I must have that insight. From somewhere. Live long enough and you have gobs of insight about a lot of things.
Thanks Bee. Time to move on!
Clever ending... guess he got the message.
It's good that she was strong enough to follow through on her end. Maybe he'll get the message now.
Clever, snappy ending. Well done.
Nicely cathartic exchange. And message delivery failure FTW!!
Concrit: check agreement: my voice cracking... you'd interrupt.
If you haven't read it you might enjoy Daniel Glattauer's Love Virtually. (German author)
I wonder what hurts more, getting to a place where you say goodbye or the delivery notice?
I don't know but I felt every word of this, my 20's were littered with me being Gabby and Will, one day asking to be let go, another begging to be held onto.
maybe that is why I liked it so much, liked that I felt for her and for HIM. My empathy doesn't discrimiate, poor Will...and poor Gabby.
but GREAT GINA. This was wonderful. :)
Oh Gina,this is an amazing piece-loved the way you expressed Gabby's feelings-I could relate to it totally-so many of us go through these kind of emotional storms specially in this fast moving world where technology has made communication terse-easily misunderstood -misused- & affairs of the heart has taken a turn for the worst.Fortunately Gabby knew how to use it to her advantage but hopefully her William will not come after her,trying to change her mind.As all others said-I agree -a fantastic end!:-)
So well done. The pain and conflict in the e-mail come through beautifully, and the undeliverable e-mail is just perfect. Really like this one.
Thanks, Flippa! She WAS!!!
They never get the message. So, no! He will be back. Thanks for liking the ending!
She's only trying to be strong but she's not really. Though she did finally follow through by changing her email. Not the phone numbers.
Thanks, Sandra! I appreciate your comment.
FTW made me smile! Thank you for that, Kymm. And, as always, thank you for your positive concrit.
I have not read that book but it is going on my To-Read list immediately! Thank you. I LOVE book recommendations.
In my opinion, both sides hurt. I HATE hurting someone's feelings. I think it is easier for me to handle being hurt than doing that to someone else. The feeling stinks!
I think a lot of us have felt this way in one form or fashion. I just glad that you, my favorite commenter, felt it so strongly. That is important to me.
I'm a two sides of the story/fence feeler, so I get this too. Mine doesn't either. It sucks either way.
Thank you, my friend. Means a alot!!!!
Thank you so much, Atreyee! Something inspired me but I'm not quite sure what but probably my imagination.
Sometimes I hate how technology has screwed up personal interactions. I want to see someone. Watch them express their feelings. Touch them. Too much room for interpretation and too many ways to read the same set of words. That said, sometimes it's the only way to communicate finality. Who ever knows where/when the end truly is...
Thanks, Annabelle. That kind of stuff HURTS! It hurst even more when someone has been a part of your life for so long. The ending is what made the most sense to me. Now she needs to change her phone numbers, maybe move, leave the country, go into witness protection, who knows...
Very good.
Letting go can be so excruciating.
I really liked Gabby's letter, but I liked this piece even more when I read William's response (short and to the point) and then the delivery failure. That delivery failure was such a unique way to show that she really meant what she wrote.
That please let go is the worst. When you feel like you have gone as far as you can and the other person doesn't-- heartbreaking.
It is! On both ends.
I've written a one word response to someone before. And received one. I know what that feels like. I had an email bounce back to a friend that morning so it helped with my inspiration!
It seems like it's always about timing and balance in a relationship. Very rarely is it perfect on all counts. Watch out if it were!
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