Sunday, February 17, 2013

It's Like Going to a Voluntary Torture Chamber

You know what Sunday means to of consciousness writing linked up at Jana's Thinking Place. Jana's totally optional prompt this weekend is "It's like going to..."

I will try to explain my current obsession in 5 short minutes, in bursts of unedited writing. So here goes:


It’s like going to…

A voluntary “torture chamber” and losing your mind for 90 minutes.

It feels like Death Valley in July when it’s really only 105 degrees.

It smells like the most disgusting pair of boy’s gym shoes.

It’s feels like your heart will never stop racing uncontrollably or your head won’t shake the dizzies.

It’s the same no matter where you go or whom you do it with. It will be exactly the same every single time. You know what it’s like and you do it anyway.

It’s like bathing in your own sweat. The kind that runs down your face, past your eyes, into your mouth. Drips off every fingertip. The end of your nose. You want to wipe the sweat. That’s the challenge but if you don’t challenge yourself, you can’t improve.

You think there's no way you’ll wear a little bra and skin-tight shorts like the girl in front of you! But now you will because it makes perfect sense.

It’s like going into fight-or-flight mode and all you can think about is escaping so you push that out of my mind.

“This is simply a fidget.” You say to yourself. “So don’t fidget then.” You answer. Quiet the internal chatter.

Mind over matter, mind over matter, mind over matter.

And eventually the transformation happens.

You start looking forward to class and the chance to reflect alone for 90 minutes.  You want to go! You embrace this new addiction you’ve tried to hate but you can’t hate something that feels so good in it’s completion even though you dread every moment leading up to opening that door.

It’s a love you want to hate but you don’t.

It’s Bikram yoga.

It’s like going into a “torture chamber” that’s never felt so good. When it's over.


  1. Wow! Never heard of it. I don't want to try it either. LOL! I do love it when I finally get to that point in a workout routine whatever it is, that I am genuinely excited to do it. I need to get there. It's going to be a while.

    1. There's always the getting over the hump part. I'm finally there with bikram. It's taken 6 weeks. Now I think about it everyday. You'll get there when the time is right.

  2. Haha, this was great! And soooo true!!!

    xo Mary Jo

    1. So you know the feeling! Brutal but incredibly satisfying.

  3. Bikram is indeed a torture! You nailed it.

  4. Replies
    1. Me too! It's been six weeks of hell since I took two years off. Over the hump and back at it tomorrow.

  5. I have never tried Bikram, but have always been totally fascinated by it. I think I might have to hunt myself up a class...