So this stream of consciousness is coming from sunny FLA. Five minutes of writing that is not edited. Just written and posted. As always, I gratefully link up at Jana's place where other like-minded writers do too.
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Florida is not one of my
favorites places because I don’t have much in common with the people who
live in this part…they're old. Now some of you out there may be thinking, well
she’s "old" too. And I will say to you, “NO. I’m not. Age is just a
number.” I hope if you ever meet me you think, “Hey, she has
a young spirit.”
But that’s not what this is
about. This is about why I’m vacationing in a place I wouldn't choose myself. And I'm not Veruca Salt either.
I’m here because three other
women are and I was graciously invited. I’m here because I’ve known these women
as acquaintances for the last 13 years. I’m here because 3 years, 2 months, 13
days ago, we became bonded unexpectedly and forever because of tragedy.
In the face of a devastating
event such as the loss of a 19 year old child who was the same age as one of
yours, who was away on his own as a freshman in college like yours, who’s
bedroom window was 15 feet away from yours, who’s death was so incomprehensible
that you will never, ever be able to explain or make sense of it, there has to be people to pick up the pieces of shattered hearts.
And there are certain times
of the year that bring out the “bad”. This is one of those times.
And as two of us listened to
a sermon today in which she wanted no part, we understood that at times
she feels abandoned by her faith.
And it’s not that we don’t
speak of him. That the subject is taboo. It is anything but that. This morning,
we had a nice long talk. We learned things about him we didn’t know, she’s
never shared. We thought we knew just about everything.
My heart broke again. For
her.
I cried but I often do.
And she gave me
one of her trademark hugs.
I’m lucky.
Wow. This really struck home with me as a mother of a 19 year old in his first year of college. The calls and texts home and you are 2 1/2 hours away and can't do anything but pray things will be alright. I'm so very sorry for your friend. I will keep her in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteMe too for the same reason and calling my daughter to tell her was horrible. At the time, she was attending Clemson (12 hours away by car). It hit home. We don't know what happens, how they are, what they're feeling when they are away on their own.
DeletePeople ask me all the time "how is she?" "Is she better?" The answer is nothing will ever make it better. She's had to figure out how to leave her life without him. She holds on tightly to memories and all this child taught her about life and love.
I can't imagine the loss of a child. Such a sad story. My heart goes out to your friend.
ReplyDeleteYou cant imagine, nor can i but i understand thriugh her. It's deeply sad and our job is to make her laugh and she does. She has happy moments but its always there. It's a part of her now. Thanks Bo.
DeleteWow, that's really sad. My heart goes out to those parents and to you guys. It's really cool and supportive that you guys got together to support her.
ReplyDeleteThat is just awful, I am very sorry for your friend, there are no words.
ReplyDeleteThe great thing about you, Gina, is the bigness of your heart. You open your heart with love and hold the world within.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how deeply a loss like that cuts, and how nearly impossible it would be to re-build a life around the chasm that can never quite be filled. She is lucky to have such a supportive group of friends to prop her up as she funds her way.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this, Gina. I look back on my freshman year of college, and hope that my kids don't do what I chose to do when they are that age. Glad you got to spend time w/ close friends. . .
ReplyDeleteAwww this post gripped my heart. I can't even imagine....
ReplyDeleteOh, how heartbreaking... :(
ReplyDeleteSomething I've learned about God, in the face of my own tragedies, is that He's always a part of the solution, and never a part of the burden. Bad things happen, bad people make bad choices, good people make bad choices, accidents happen, because we're human. God gave us the freedom of choice and sometimes other people make bad choices that have an effect on us. So many variables... But God is the constant. He never promised that we wouldn't have hardship, only that He would be there to carry us through it. I will keep you all in my prayers, and especially your friend as she mourns. What a terrible thing to have happen.
oh dear. just be there. when such a tragedy occurs and there is nothing I can offer I think of the Virgin Mary at the foot of the cross..just be there.
ReplyDelete