There are moments when a memory is triggered for me (usually by a person) and my heart does this little thing.
Standing in the Immigrations line late
last night waiting for that familiar sound to bounce off our passports signaling,
“You’re home”, everyone was weary, suntanned or burned and definitely impatient.
“I want my bed.” I said out loud to no
one in particular.
“Vacation’s over. Now get me out of
here,” said everyone’s face.
And knowing the external temperature and
the prospect of shoveling wasn’t helping the mood either.
Snapping out of it, I saw someone from four
rows ahead looking at me. Gazing down then back up again, I smiled in
recognition and tentatively waved. He gave a small wave back.
And my heart squeezed.
Had he been on my plane? This whole
time?
I hadn’t seen him since the summer
between my sophomore and junior years in college. I don’t even remember where it was or what was said.
I dated his
brother for a while in high school. He was my best “guy friend” at the time. They were identical twins. I could tell them apart. Always.
His brother was sometimes a jerk. He
was always sweet.
When his brother was busy, he’d ask me to the beach or the mall or a movie. We would hang out for hours.
We were only friends.
Never getting close enough to speak last
night as the Immigration line snaked around, hundreds of people answered
questions like, “How many days were you in Mexico? Can I see your customs form?
Bring in any plants?”
I don’t even know if I’d introduce him
given the opportunity. Or what I’d say. Where I’d begin. If anyone would care
but the two of us.
I was simply happy my path crossed with
his one last (?) time.
Riding up the escalator, he looked back
to customs. Where I was.
I raised my hand a little.
And my heart did its thing.
Again.
***********************
This was written for Trifecta using the
third definition of the word:
1: a trodden way
2: a track specially constructed for a particular
use
I totally know that feeling. It's bittersweet, I think.
ReplyDeleteIt is very bittersweet. And had we been somewhere else or closer in proximity I would have talked with him...I think. I'm sure it was Bobby (my friend) and not Tony who I dated.
Deleteoooh oooh i know those internal thoughts and feelings.
ReplyDeleteWarm and slightly uncomfortable all at the same time.
DeleteVery cool the way you expressed those emotions. I could feel my heart squeeze too. Well done. So, Mexico? That's why you've been tweeting in Espanol.
ReplyDeleteThanks, lumdog. Yep. A little south of the border getaway. And that's why my tweets last week in Espanol.
DeleteThat's really touching. For me moments like this are almost like encountering a memory rather than a person. It's hard to articulate the feelings and associations of times long gone to those who weren't there, you know?
ReplyDeleteIt was almost better that we didn't talk so I could preserve the memory exactly and as fondly as it is to me. While I could have explained it, I'm not sure I could have put the proper words to the feelings. I just kept it to myself.
Delete"My heart squeezed." I totally understand this, and the not knowing whether you would introduce him or what you'd say. It's not so much the person, I think, but the memories of days past, and a different time. It's sometimes strange to think of how many different people come in and out of a lifetime, and what each one of them mean.
ReplyDeleteIt was a different time. A warm and cozy place that changed once everyone left for college. I sometimes think about the people who have wandered through my life (for short periods and long) and love to reflect on the memories and how they changed my heart.
DeleteAw. Very much bittersweet; it hasn't happened to me in a long time but I can totally imagine it.
ReplyDeleteIt was so unexpected. I was a little sad and I don't know why.
DeleteSituations like these always raise "what if" questions for me. Bittersweet, indeed.
ReplyDeleteI don't spend a lot of time with "what if's" but situations definitely cause me to pause in thought.
DeleteCompletely enthralled by your account. I felt like I was with you in that line. A lot in this, only alluded by a word or two. I loved it!
ReplyDeleteI see you live in Chicago... I lived there for years... I ❤ Chicago...
Thanks so much Ted! I love it here too. Too bad you had to move away but it's cold now so maybe you're somewhere warm and toasty.
DeleteAt first I thought this was first person fiction (here from Trifecta), but I see from the comments it happened.
ReplyDeleteYou did an excellent job describing the emotion of seeing someone so important to your past.
There are a few typos-- the period versus comma here: "Now get me out of here.” said -- and the use of "it's" instead of its in my favorite sentence: And my heart did it's thing.
So few words and I know just what you mean. Lovely.
It did happen. Life sometimes is better than anything I could think up. And thank you for the wonderful comment. I appreciate the corrections. I look it over a million times but sometimes don't "see" them.
DeleteAnd the ghosts of the pasts meet the person of the present...
ReplyDeleteLove this phrase. So true.
DeleteWhat a story, Gina. That image of you raising your hand as he rode the escalator up and away... very moving. Wonderful account of how memory resides in us and bubbles to the surface when we least expect it. The briefest glimpse is all we need to kickstart that emotion felt so long ago.
ReplyDeleteIt takes the smallest thing to trigger an emotional response, doesn't it. Thank you for your comments Steph!
DeleteOh hearts and their things... (: Love this piece. I always get a wrenching jolt when/if I come across an old friend. I don't think it's as good a feeling as you get haha
ReplyDeleteThe "right" person gives you that heart thingy. Thanks, Draug.
DeleteAh! Crossing paths again. Good write!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joe! I usually like when paths cross especially with a special person.
DeleteHow sweet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jen!
DeleteThis is a terrific story. Sometimes its nice to go back like that.
ReplyDeleteIt was a sweet/sad thing. It was nice to reminisce in my mind though. Thanks, Bo.
DeleteI love how well you express emotions. Great read. Thanks for sharing it!
ReplyDeleteThat's so nice of you to say.
DeleteThe brief visual acknowledgement keeps it intimate - nice. Love your heart doing its thing, too.
ReplyDeleteYou might use "anticipate" instead of "know" here, as it doesn't work with "prospect": "knowing the external temperature and the prospect..."
It felt that way...intimate. I LOVE when my heart does that.
DeleteI also appreciate your feedback, kymm!
In a way, it felt sad that you didn't get to talk...but on the other hand, the fact you just shared a wave and a glance made the moment more meaningful. Maybe words would've ruined the whole encounter.
ReplyDeleteI think talking to him would have "ruined" it. The moment here mattered to me. Never thought I'd see him again which would have been fine too.
DeleteYou handled the whole thing so beautifully-both the emotion & the experience.Moreover,you put it on paper so neatly Gina,kudos to your composure. Had I been in your place,I would have just got super excited & gone gamboling up to him or whatever,lol!As you rightly pointed out though ,"I was simply happy my path crossed with his one last (?) time."Guess some things are best left alone,lest the memories get tarred or change...
ReplyDeleteThank you for saying that, Atreyee! Sometimes I feel I have way too much composure and that maybe I will miss out on things because of it. In this case, it turned out the right way, I think.
Deletei love this piece for the reason that i've never felt what you described as a heart squeeze before.. i always seem to conveniently forget people from the past lol i'm icy like that. but the emotions in this piece here.. strangely lovely to me
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you haven't felt this. I'm, sort of, emotionally sensitive so it happens to me. And I never forget anyone. But our differences make this world go 'round. Thank you for being touched by this.
DeleteYou have such a great skill for suspending the drama, while bleeding in the tension. This was great!
ReplyDeleteYou are leave me the best comments, always! XO
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