Trifecta: I Swear When I'm Uncomfortable

“I’m going to hate this,” I groan making very little attempt to disguise my pissy attitude about attending a paddle tennis couples mixer. “I wish we stayed home.”

 “Let’s just have fun. Not take it seriously.”

“That’s easy for you to say because you’re really good at it! Did you hear that one over there? ‘My tennis club doesn’t even have a league high enough for me.’ (I mimicked her country club intonation.) Isn’t that fucking quaint?”

“You’ll do fine. We’re going to be perfectly fine.”

“I’m doing this for you, you know, and I’m going to hate it. Ugh!!!!!! Look at the bracket. Of course, we’re playing against her! That’s fucking perfect!”

“You’re making this into a much bigger deal than it needs to be. Her husband’s a beginner, too.”

“It's going to be embarrassing. I’ll be horrible!”

“How do you know? You’ve never played before. Do you want a glass of wine? Let me get you a glass of wine.” He rushed off without waiting for my answer, leaving me alone.

My eyes swiftly surveyed the trendily outfitted room. As expected, it abounded with many more of exactly “her” cliquey kind. The already comfortably acquainted. The kind who can nonchalantly compare the quality of their racket, the best court shoes, semiweekly drills or private lessons. Things I knew nothing about.

He pushed a glass in my hand but, right then and there, I realized no amount of Pinot Noir could come close to quelling my nervousness or insecurity.

“They may know how to play, but you’re the prettiest in the room.” His words brushing my ear as he squeezed my wrist.

Looking at him sideways from the corner of my cynical eye, I almost answered, “What do you want?”

But his eyes were soft. And his smile was soft.

I reached up with gloved fingertips and grazed his cheekbone lightly.

“Let’s go kick some ass.”

“That’s my girl!”

*********************

33-333 words for the third definition of:

QUAINT (adjective)

1:  obsolete:  EXPERT, SKILLED

2a:  marked by skillful design <quaint with many a device in India ink — Herman Melville>  

b:  marked by beauty or elegance

3a : unusual or different in character or appearance :  ODD  

b : pleasingly or strikingly old-fashioned or unfamiliar <a quaint phrase>

Couples Golf: Just Because I Know How, Doesn’t Mean…

Did I learn to golf when I was young? Yes.

Did I say I liked to golf when I met my husband-to-be? Yes.

Was I fibbing? Not entirely.

Did I pull a “bait and switch”? Maybe. 

It’s the only thing that stopped happening shortly after we were married and to this day…until now.

You know what it’s like when you’re really into someone. You’ll pretty much agree to do “whatever” on a date just to spend time with them (I’m speaking of totally appropriate things here).

I said I liked to play golf because I did but not really for the game. I liked being outside in the late afternoon on a beautiful day. I loved cruising around in a golf cart on rolling hills amidst the flora and fauna. I loved the little cooler he packed with a few beers each which made us a little more chatty. And the bag of popcorn. I very much loved the "Francheesies" at the Halfway House. I loved the time alone when no one else was in sight and it was quiet; just us and the birds. I loved the quick, spontaneous kisses.

Of course, I did have to get out of the cart and hit a ball…A LOT…but it was still a blast because we were falling in love. I didn’t give it a minute’s thought.

Now everyone thinks I play golf again because my arm was twisted by said best friend (See post from a few days ago). AND I’m double and quadruple dating on a golf course. What’s with that????

All seven of them are lucky it was Cinco de Mayo on Saturday and they were serving margaritas from the drink cart. Note to self:  There is still an inverse relationship between the number of margaritas (two) and beers (one) you have and your ability to golf.

I will concede it was fun. It was a beautiful night. The pot roast nachos and fish tacos afterwards were killer and made up for everything. Just don’t expect me to do this every weekend, people.

I’m speaking to all of you….Pleaaaaaaasssssseeee!!!