Ten To-Dos For June: I Can Do It!

This is just perfect! It is exactly what I need right this very minute and I’m not saying that sarcastically either.

I DO need a June To-Do list. I haven’t put together a To-Do list in what seems like foreverrrrrrrr! I realize that some of these might border on personally unrealistic and I’m okay with that because I’d rather be stretching than things coming easily.

On purpose, I am sparing the list and all of you those To-Dos (goals) that have to do with my obsession regarding physical fitness. Yes, I am a bit of a whack job in this regard. I have an entirely different list of those.

So I’d like to give a big shout out to Mama Kat for the kick in the butt. It’s much appreciated.

Ten To-Dos for June:

1.    Survive a crazy L.A. wedding weekend- Not as easy as it may seem considering it’s the same besties who traveled together in the fall for my birthday. All I’ll say is some fun comes with a cost. I’m sure we'll be wrung out by the end of it, completely exhausted.

2.    Spend one full day a week reading- And do hardly anything else that day except eat (this will be challenging). My reading has suffered lately. When something you love is missing in your life, it’s painful. I need to make it a priority again. I have three books going. I need to chose one then finish them all. I usually manage one a week and I’d like to get back to that. (I have 4 others lined up and ready to go) BOOK SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!!!

3.    I will commit to putting all portable phones on their bases so at least one in this household works/rings- The only reason this is even on the list is, at the present moment, three handsets are sitting with me next to the computer, none of them have a charge and the phone keeps ringing. Wonder who left them here and didn’t return them to their charge stands? Thank goodness someone was smart enough to keep landlines around here (not me) so we could actually answer the phone.

4.    Swim, bike or run everyday beginning June 19^th-. Everything tends to fall by the wayside in the summer as I watch myself get chubbier and rounder (it's quite interesting). No way this time. I’ll be signing up, with my daughter and three friends, for the lake’s annual triathlon. We did it last year and it was a blast but it would've been a whole lot easier if I had trained some (swam not one stroke and ran possibly 10 miles total prior to the race, not good). However, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel …the kegger and hot dog party we throw directly after the last of us crosses the finish line. Now that’s what I call motivation!

5.    Lay off the fried food that they do so well in the state of Indiana- I am obsessed with fried green beans and wasabi dip. The breaded pork tenderloins aren’t too shabby either nor are the french fries. Arms are making an “X” which means NO…Stay Away!

6.    Once a week, make/have a date with each of my children, separately. I haven’t seen them much since they returned from school May 4^th except for weekends. Yea!!! for full time jobs but sad that they are living in a different state at the moment. At least they’re together. June 19^th changes that!

7.    Play, walk, throw the ball in the water 20X in a row, and snuggle with Addison every day- Addy is our little dog who is all of 75 lbs. which is not so little but she still looks and acts like a naughty puppy.

8.    Clean out two huge junk closets at the lake- They're filled with 50+ years of crap (to the point where it’s dangerous to open the door) and I will not bitch about it, put it off or ask someone else to do it.

9.    Score fantastic tickets to an awesome concert (TBD) for my friends and I- For whatever reason, it seems the majority of events this summer are country oriented. Not a big fan. Quite possibly, I need to step out of my “music” box and attend something I never have in the past. Different is good!

10.                  Resurrect homemade pasta night- We didn’t do it last summer and I don’t recall why but traditionally (or for about 10 straight years) my daughter and I would pick a weekend night, invite all our summer friends over, and prepare pasta made from scratch. I wish I could find the pictures from the last. They’re hysterical. Imagine bathing suits (only a teenager can do this in a string bikini plus the kitchen is HOT), everything completely covered in flour, gravy on the stove with meatballs AND an audience. So, so fun!

There it is. Some will be very easy and others rather difficult. Happy June!

I’m In a Pickle: A Bad Way To Diet!

Girlie Post Warning...

I just ripped through the pantry looking for “my” peanut butter. Damn, I’m out and I didn’t even know it. I ALWAYS have a back up which means someone’s been in it! I guess these Honey Graham Oh!s will do.

Unfortunately for my junk loving family, I haven’t been to the grocery store in forever because I’m buying too much crap AND ice cream. I can’t have that stuff in our house or the tasmanian devil that resides inside me will tear through everything leaving this house in total destruction and completely ravage.

How are we surviving, you ask? I’m only going to the corner market where crap isn’t sold. If mama has to eat healthy (and not be entirely happy about it), so do all of you! "Because, I say!"

It’s seems as if I’ve been chain-smoking cupcakes…not good. Here’s a tip: Cupcakes don’t hurt when you use them to beat yourself up over dumb stuff. There are other less caloric techniques but they don't work as well on moi!

In any case, why am I in a pickle? I’m in a pickle because I need to figuratively (literally would be so much faster/easier) wire my jaw shut starting immediately.

**Have you read/seen this, brides use feeding tubes to rapidly shed pounds, Now THAT sounds like a rational solution, doesn’t it? DON’T DO THIS, EVER! It’s pure and utter insanity!**

I'm attending a very important wedding in L.A. ten-ish days from now. Of course, I felt a significant event such as this warranted an equally significant dress. Come on! I haven’t bought a really cool dress in a long time. So I did, based on the recommendation of my best friend Susie, and my fingers are crossed that the VISA bill arrives post trip.  

Sue is the one you want by your side at such times. She’ll flat out tell you what she thinks because (1.) She wants us both to look good being twin-like and all, (2.) She doesn’t want to hear me bitch that I should have picked the other one.

She always says, “That size is too big. Try on the smaller size.” Of course I do as my baby sister, from another mister, tells me and she's usually spot on. Playing Roger Ebert, she gave my gold dress a resounding two very enthusiastic thumbs up. “Now that looks hot! That’s the one!” And I say, "But it's a little snug.", as I struggle to pull it off my body. "Oh, you can do it. You have 2 1/2 weeks." Okaaaaaay!!!!!

Then, what’s a girl to do but be lead right to the shoe department to find the perfect pair?

That was last week and because I’m always afraid I'll peak too early, drop a few fast pounds and think, “Well it’s okay to have this cupcake ‘cause I’ve already slimmed down some.” I put it off. Now, I'm in that "pickle"! The place I didn't want to be.

It’s T-minus 10 days. I’m not panicked, but I am starting to give the matter some serious contemplation as I calculate exactly how this is going to happen.

And that’s the thing about shoes. They always fit. You don’t have to starve to fit into them. AND they’re beautiful.

The invitation recommended wedges for an outdoor ceremony and reception. I don't listen very well, now do I? I'm a sucker for heels!

I will do my utmost to prevent my diet-induced crabbiness from affecting all of you through my writing this next week but I guess you should be expecting it. I don’t do well when I’m hungry, let alone, starving and the only way to pull this off is that or “the wires”.

Just wait ‘til after the wedding when I drag all of you into my desperate attempt to train for my second ever triathlon. It’s not pretty.

*Pictures (except shoes) courtesy of Google Images and someone.