Friday, January 12, 2018

Frustration: Stream of Consciousness (Well Almost)

I long to have my computer with me at times like these so I could more easily tell you that I kind of yelled at a few people today.

I used to be quite the yeller back in the day. In my late twenties and throughout my thirties. I admit to being the occasional hothead. I account for this as a by-product of my fiery Italian roots and being stressed with work and a young family then not working, with no money and young children at home. The family would concur.

I could rip a deserving sort a decent sized hole and well, in my humble opinion. In some cases, I was quite proud... Let me qualify that, aside from hubby (unfortunately and only sometimes), I was usually fair with my rants.  Once detonated though, for me, it was over.

Life has since softened me. Thank goodness.

It’s more stressful for me to get angry and worked up than to remain as passive as possible in difficult situations. I also know better than to rip into the “wrong” people, the ones merely doing the work asked of  them by a boss. Nothing productive comes out of that!

It has worked, mostly.

It was an easy job fucked up for the third time (first time was the solar eclipse) and a state away from where I intended to spend my weekend. So I did raise my voice to some workers today. Kind of started out hot then toned it down when I saw their innocent faces because they didn’t derserve it. Their boss does.

I may attempt to remain passive, but I have my limits and will not be walked over.

In instances such as this, I hear my mother-in-law, a sage of sorts, whisper,

“It’s not always what you say, but how you say it.”

Cliched, I know.

They knew I was mad and why. They knew I wasn’t mad at them. They knew precisely to whom my rath would be directed.

My last words?

“It’s only a sink and countertops and they will be installed correctly because I am accountable to the family money manager, and he’s not going to be happy at all that I’ve already and stupidly paid for a job not done right. That’s my fault. Have a great weekend and tell your boss to give me a call.”

Now him I’m pretty likely to go off on.


  1. I remember how I felt after we'd been through kitchen reno simultaneously with bathroom reno and our counter came in with the wrong sink. On one of those mistakes I actually went into the bathroom to take a shower and scream into a washcloth. It wasn't the delivery guy's fault. I feel sorry for them because I know in other instances people probably go off.

    1. At the end of the day, it’s just a sink and countertops. I told them that but they still felt bad. It was an inconvenience for me to get there the evening before, driving through a snowstorm, and then to end up in the same place we started and having to do it all over again. Should have been simple. In the scheme of things, it’s really nothing.