I’m sitting at this keyboard and I’m freezing. I am freezing because my house is cold and I should have taken a warm shower a long while ago after sweating out five pounds in a Bikram (i.e. severely hot) yoga class. I did not do this yet and my fingertips are blue and I'm shivering.
I’m
sitting here typing while also staring at a stack of gorgeous family photos on
Christmas cards, which were received in the mail today. At the same time, my stack
of Christmas cards remains sealed in plastic wrapped packaging, unaddressed.
I’m
still sitting here, obviously, with full knowledge of the unwrapped Christmas
gifts, which cover the entire floor of my bedroom. Fancy gold
ribbon and silver foil paper and cute gift tags lay next to those gifts. I
haven’t touched any of them yet except to burrow a path from my side of
the bed to the bathroom so I don’t take a tumble in the dark when I get up at
night.
I
have a long list of things I haven’t done yet.
And
I also have an idea of why I keep putting off every thing that is HO HO HO related
(including today’s shower which is technically due to pure laziness). I just
don’t feel like doing anything. Period.
It's not how I feel about Christmastime. I’m not in a bah humbug mood either. I love the holidays.
It’s almost as if I feel paralyzed to do anything because I don’t feel any sense of pressure yet. And I have no idea why I don’t feel any pressure because, please tell me if I’m wrong, Christmas IS next week. I can’t help it.
It’s almost as if I feel paralyzed to do anything because I don’t feel any sense of pressure yet. And I have no idea why I don’t feel any pressure because, please tell me if I’m wrong, Christmas IS next week. I can’t help it.
They
key component is I have to feel it,
the pressure. And I don’t. Not yet.
I don't know if I am a glutton for punishment, although I
can rightfully say I work best with a thumb planted firmly on my back, with a
deadline. I can cram like nobody’s business and always get my shit done. Thank
God I’m not a perfectionist since procrastinators aren’t afforded that luxury anyway.
There's something just so enticing to me, and more fun-filled, about doing anything other than what I'm supposed to be doing. So maybe then, it's not about being a procrastinator at all. Whatever you call it (what do you call it?), it makes me me and it's not likely to change much no matter anyone's consternation.
So until I feel it, the pressure, I’ll find things I’d rather do like read, or workout, or eat, or hang out with friends, or read some more.
There's something just so enticing to me, and more fun-filled, about doing anything other than what I'm supposed to be doing. So maybe then, it's not about being a procrastinator at all. Whatever you call it (what do you call it?), it makes me me and it's not likely to change much no matter anyone's consternation.
So until I feel it, the pressure, I’ll find things I’d rather do like read, or workout, or eat, or hang out with friends, or read some more.
The
pickle is, once Friday morning comes, the last grain of sand will drop through
the hourglass. Time will have expired. There’ll be plans and holiday parties
and kids stuff and a warm weather vacation. Life will become its beautiful Christmas chaos. And I'll be left surfing its wave.
By then, no more time to get ready for Christmas.
I
should shower and get some shit done, right? I suppose time's doing its ticking thing...
13 comments:
it's a funny thing, isn't it? how we work better under pressure? i'm the same way!
p.s. i haven't showered yet, either!
(stopping by through #JustWrite)
Some people hate it. It lights a bonfire under me and it feels more exciting. I'm a junky for excitement though!
P.S. good to hear someone is like me. I'm commenting clean now (finally). And I wrote out five cards!
Can totally relate!!
Last minute on so many things.
And to this, I say, So what?
;)
Angie
Yea!!! A kindred spirit! Thanks, Angie.
Hhhhmmm, I thought it was just me? I find you attitude reassuring. :)
pressure brings out the adrenaline, and that's a darn good lubricant, i find.
hope your nail-in-the-tire type day is in the rearview mirror, as they say. i can relate to the type of day and needing to feel pressure. when i feel desperate, i do my best stuff oftentimes, but i also do it without any pressure. ha! and ho-ho-ho:) i'm visiting chicago in jan. i know it's cold there.
I haven't done anything for Christmas either. ;)
It's always so very nice to know there are others, isn't it???
Yes! You feel a rush. It's kind of scary, which makes it more exciting. Sort of an edge of your seat (you fly by it) feeling. I do well with both but better under pressure. If I feel I have too much time, I tend to flitter it away.
I know you know what you are getting yourself into when you touch down in this windy, January tundra. Have so much fun though. Some of my favorite times in the city are bundling up and running around (especially at night). Very cold to very warm.
Wait! What? You don't have my present yet??? ;-)
Oh how I can relate to procrastinating on things that need to get done. (why I'm sitting here reading every one of the Just Write linked up posts) But I do know that the sand running out of the hourglass helps motivate me to work faster and more efficiently, so maybe that's what I'm waiting for too. Good luck on getting the things done you need to accomplish. Merry Christmas to you and yours, Gina!
And why am I sitting here reading and responding to your comment? Today will be productive. I just know it (I'm actually fooling myself because I feel like reading, which is what I know I'll do as soon as I press publish).
Merry Christmas to you, too, Malisa. Thank you for stopping by today.
I know you don't have anything done for Christmas...
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