Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Yeah Write: Phone Notes and Ambiguity



Approximately one hundred items reside on the notepad of my phone. There are phone numbers (often without names), blog ideas, websites, long strings of digits (for who knows which account), songs, recipes, sheer babble, and books (and more books) etc., etc. I have absolutely no clue why some exist, or where they came from or even if I wrote them. I don’t recall.

What I have an abundance of, by far, are quotes.

Some for a laugh and, oh so, true like “As I have grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.” Unknown (aka the "fuck it" switch)

Or a gut bust (courtesy of Change The Topic on Facebook as one example).

Some are so touching they make my eyes well like “Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.” Plato

Some are tortuous reminders of how I should behave (even though I already know, or should). No example will be provided here.

Inspirational quotes are burgeoning. Here are two from famous Leos. “In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.“ L. Tolstoy or “Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.” L. Buscaglia

And yet, there is one that keeps nudging for attention; currently occupying an immense amount of real estate in my brain. This is “the one”.

“The key question to keep asking is, 'Are you spending your time on the right things?' Because time is all you have.” Randy Pausch

Have you read it before?

It’s a nagging, if rhetorical, question I ask myself more times a day than you can imagine or I care to admit. So I picked at it. I dug. And it didn’t take long at all when I finally decided to be honest with myself. Of course I didn't like the answer.

It's a resounding “no”. I am not spending my time on the right things. Not by a stretch, not even most of the time. Seems hardly any of the time anymore if I also take into consideration the thinking space devoted to these mental, emotional and clock sucking behaviors (again if I’m being honest). They’ve become habit.

People and issues that shouldn’t matter so much, but do, are distractions. I feel out of touch from my day-to-day life sometimes. Other times, I feel a total disconnect. Like I’m floating along the surface, not at all in a “feet firmly planted” way. And I feel a sense I’m wasting it, time, on those people and issues and it depresses me.

I know how to stop them, those behaviors and distractions that are eating up so much of it. Time. It always comes back to prioritization of time and energies (as a friend often puts it). Balancing  true needs versus reasonable and appropriate wants; pitting "can have" against "shouldn’t have". A tricky distinction sometimes.

Casting aside one of those "wants" is going to hurt. Badly. Tears dropped into my lap as I wrote those last thirteen words. But it’s what I need to do. I know what I need to do.

16 comments:

  1. I do that on the notes page of my phone too. Some of the blog ideas would be fun to use if I could remember what the heck I was talking about. I like that you keep quotes there too. I should start doing that. Oh - and passwords. I've got those and I often don't remember what they're for. lol

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    1. I just erased a slew of nonsensical blubber meant as blog fodder moons ago but I can't remember, for the life of me, what they were supposed to mean. Bongo's Lickit List was one of them. What the hell is THAT? I'm not sure I even want to Google it. And those account numbers on it surely have passwords but I often use the same two or three so usually one of them hits.

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  2. Ooooh, I love that quote, I know it and it chills me because I am not sure if I can answer it well. I love that you collect quotes. How lovely!

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    1. It's hard to answer because, I think, we already know the answers (or at least some of them) and aren't keen on them.
      Somethings we don't want to change even though we should. My answer is definitely people/person oriented/driven.

      I like a lot of R.W. Emerson and Einstein quotes. Oscar Wilde, too. The ones that really strike me aren't the motivational ones. I can motivate myself. It's the ones that get me thinking...

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  3. I'm going to tweet you a link to a blog post that I think you'll appreciate on budgeting time (among other things).
    I wish you the courage to do what you need to do.

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    1. I read it. Too funny that I was a math major for quite sometime. My brain oftentimes works a little bit along those lines (although I'm not very practical so all the budget thingies get messy if I'm involved).

      Thanks for the support, Cynthia! Our gut knows sometimes before we are ready to accept it.

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  4. Bongo's Lickit List- so little time.

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    1. You could tell me what it is if you know...

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  5. I need to take a page from your handbook. My time/priorities are out of whack. It is hard to accept, and maybe someday I will find the strength to do something about it.

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    1. Oh boy! Not my handbook. It has scribbles and cross-outs and blank pages. Mine are too but aren't everyone's? If it's reasonable, I'm okay with it. When it's/something's excessive, I feel it. That's where I am at the moment. I'll straighten things out in my head. I always do but there's always some discomfort that comes with the territory.

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  6. Time management is so hard for all of us. We want to do SO much and the allotment for time just isn't there. Choosing our priories is very difficult at times.

    Take a deep breathe and do as much as you can...

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    1. I suck at time management unless I'm under pressure. I excel there. I just haven't felt that pressure in quite sometime. Maybe I'm not busy enough. Things just seem to roll when I have too much to do. When I have little to do, I waste as much time as possible in order to get myself in "time crunch" mode. I'm weird that way, I guess.

      Thanks for the visit, Michael!

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  7. I adore Randy Pauch, and have watching his Last Lecture at CMU a bunch of times. As I write this, I'm looking at his book The Last Lecture that sits on a shelf in my office as a reminder to, as he says, spend my time on the right things.

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    1. I need to watch it. It's time. I need to re-read the book. Thanks for my reminder, Sam. That quote resonates with me even though I sometimes push it to the back of my mind when I'm doing something I shouldn't.

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  8. Of course this hits home. I have wasted so much time! Every day there is so much that I should do, but don't . Being a writer does not help, does it? We always feel like there is unfinished homework!

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  9. It would be lovely if we could always choose what we spend our time on. It is frustrating to me, this wasting time on other people's drama.

    Great post!

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