For this weekend's Trifecta challenge, they provided the
first 33 words and asked us to add 33 of our own to move the story along.
The last strains of sunlight lingered in the corners,
Grasping every available point of refraction.
She slid her fingertips along the glass
Wondering if this was all there ever was.
Or could be.
“Nothing.”
He
accepts it. Always.
Never changes.
Never changes.
Her mind screams…Where are "we"?
“How
do you feel?” He presses.
“Fine.”
Never
changes.
“Wait! Can
I throw in ‘Asshole'?” She inquires.
“Sure.
Better?”
“Definitely!”
**********************************
Author’s
Note: This is Fiction. In our household, we don’t call each other names (not
even jerk, well maybe jerk and maybe as a joke and maybe only once or twice but that’s about it!) and answers are never the
same, guaranteed.
This is very good. You've captured a couple's routine conversation and then added a cool zinger. Great take on the prompt!
ReplyDeleteFar too often "nothing" and "fine" are lazily used to respond. I'm guilty at times too. Just felt like adding a swear at the end because, in reality, I thought maybe this girl might feel better getting a zinger in.
DeleteLOL! I've been reading your Trifecta responses long enough, I finally participated. Enjoyed yours - can't wait to read the others.
ReplyDeleteYes! You have been reading looooong enough and I'm thrilled you are joining the fiction world or whatever you choose to write about week to week! I love everything you write (and you know, especially about your dad!) Thanks for liking!
Deletei feel like i've had this course of conversation one time too many. but mostly because we're both too stubborn to say anything further! haha
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, I've had it go down that way too. There is a stubbornness to it definitely. An I'm not sharing kind of thing. Childish?
DeleteThis was neat. I love that she adds the word and that he doesn't get offended.
ReplyDeleteOh, I think he's just glad to get some kind of feeling out of her so he's okay with it.
DeleteI like your use of dialogue in this one. Not a lot of people did that one.
ReplyDeleteThank you! You never know what people get in their minds with these prompts.
DeleteCaught in a claustrophobic routine. Never changes. I like that.
ReplyDeletePrecisely. Claustrophobic routine sounds much better than rut. Doesn't change until someone does. Changes things up.
DeleteNice. A refreshing take on what seems a routine conversation.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ruby. Yes, routine except her addition.
DeleteThrow "whatever" in there and this could've been one of our discussions :) I like the conversation, it made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you laughed. I did, too, when I wrote it. Give me a higher word count or one more sentence and I'd work in the "whatever" because it's in the same word group as "nothing" and "fine"!
DeleteThe snappy dialogue made this come alive.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. I like snappy!
DeleteNeat! Great conversation!
ReplyDeleteAll too common conversation, I think. Thank you.
DeleteSurprise! I loved that she finally decided to change the conversation. You captured that back and forth perfectly.
ReplyDeleteSomeone has to change things up. I like to be kept on my toes with conversation but it's easy for this to happen in real life. I have loads of experience with that back and forth (a quarter century to be exact).
DeleteHA! Good one Gina! :D
ReplyDeleteThanks for laughing, Linda!
DeleteSpot on!
ReplyDeletePerfect! That was my goal!
DeleteNice job, great dialogue!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tessa!
DeleteI have been in that relationship before. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI bet most of use can find some familiarity with this. It's called lazy or checked out or pissed off at something you're not divulging! IMO
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