I have three posts in the works. All three are different kinds. My mind begins grasping then formulating their ideas, and as soon as I begin to write, I am left with a dead space. In my head and on the page.
My thoughts stream out in boring strings of words and meaningless turns of phases. It feels like every ounce of creativity has been siphoned out my lips leaving nothing in it's wake. A force stronger than I preventing me. Hollow is how it feels. A blankness.
I'm thinking about taking up knitting. My grandmother, long gone, taught me to crochet when I was a young girl, eighth grade, I think. And I could make a mean afghan and some seriously cool scarves back in the day.
I remember finding peace there, in the process. I remember it soothing my increasingly hormonal soul. I remember feeling rooted ,connected, to her, too.
I want to rediscover that inner peace. I long for a soothed soul. I need to feel grounded and connected to my creativity.
Yes, I will take up knitting.
"But we're never gonna survive unless
ReplyDeleteWe get a little crazy
No we're never gonna survive unless
We are a little
Cray cray crazy."
Seal
When my daughter was going through a very rough patch, I picked up the knitting needles. I had been shown how to knit by my maternal grandmother when I was nine or so. With a little help from YouTube, it all came back. It was a good activity for me when I was very anxious. And I could see results fairly quickly, row by row. That made me smile when smiling was hard.
ReplyDeleteHi Jamie! How are you? Warmer than me, that's for sure.
DeleteIt's one of those things that is hard to put my finger on. I'm searching for soothing. In everything. Nothing dramatic going on. Thank goodness. It's a funk. Could be the weather. Maybe it's the lack of creative spark. Or the times. Just need to fill a gap and I remember crocheting giving my mind a rest. As a matter of fact, during the Fall of my freshman year in college, I crocheted my high school boyfriend a giant afghan for Christmas. It took a few months and was a calming activity during an otherwise crazy time in my life. I think learning to knit would be an equally soothing thing to learn during the winter months. Something different. Something new and creative.
I know that hollow feeling.
ReplyDeleteHow's Texas treating the lifelong Californian? It rained eight of ten days during our recent California road trip from Monterey to the desert.
DeleteWhat's that syndrome when you spend too much time under gray skies? Is there such a thing? Everything is about to change so I am looking forward to that. In reality, I have nothing to complain about really.
It's just a gut thing.