I detest feeling frustrated. And I equally detest feeling annoyed. But the feeling I detest even more, whipping both frustration and annoyance into the frothiest mixture of icky feelings, is one in which I feel between a rock and a hard place. It's that dreadful place where you have no choice, or feel as if you don't, because if you exercised your right to make that choice, a certain choice, you would be "the bad guy". Or deemed unreasonable or a bitch or probably even other worse things.
You are asked if something is okay with you; works for you. Do you mind if...?
And the answer is "no"; it's not really okay. It doesn't work for me; I do mind.
But you feel you can't say "no". And you have to do it. Then act like you don't mind if it goes down at all.
You can express how uncomfortable it is for you fully understanding it's going to happen anyway. Because you have no choice but to say "yes".
So you try to put some boundaries on it to make it seem better. And you throw out a "I know other people who would feel the same as me" for good measure. You feel like a heel for even feeling this way at all. And you feel like some sort of brat. But you can't help it because it's just how you feel.
This is how I feel at this very minute. And I detest it.
Ever felt this way?
I have felt this way many times before. It always sucks!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from SOCSunday
I don't usually get or find myself in this position. Not too often. But I did yesterday and hated it.
DeleteThe older I get the more comfortable I am with saying "no." But I have to be prepared to face the consequences. I always worry if people will understand why I made that choice. When is really stupid to worry about. So I'm left with saying "no" and worrying that people won't understand why or saying "yes" and feeling resentful because it was not the decision I wanted to make in first place.
ReplyDeleteI'm usually really, really good with "no"s, especially as I've gotten older, but this particular situation (family stuff) combined with outside pressure made it impossible for me to say no. Absolutely impossible. I'm better about it today. I won't be talking about it but when it happens, when the time comes, I know I'm going to feel pissy all over again.
DeleteOh no, I always feel grateful and cheery because life is a bed of roses and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd Jack brings the levity! Family stuff (not even my immediate one) throws a wrench into that bed of roses more often than not!
DeleteCarry a hammer for when you are stuck between the rock and the hard place. Works wonders, so does a good book.
DeleteFamily can be...wonderful- ;)
Books always help! But so do hammers sometimes!
DeleteOh I hate when I'm put between a rock and a hard place too! The question I really hate is when someone prefaces a request by saying, "If you don't want to do this just say no . . . ."
ReplyDeleteHello? The fact that they would have to preface their request like that is reason enough not to ask it in the first place! Grrrr. Then I'm put on the spot. I hate when that happens.
Loved your stream of consciousness Gina! :D
That question makes it harder, definitely!
DeleteI wasn't actually involved in the decision. I should have been but even the person who made the decision, without me, was stuck too. But he is able to put it out of his mind and think maybe it won't turn out so bad. I know how it will turn out. I know the inconvenience it is. It tumbles around up there! Trying to let it go. Thanks for appreciating my rant, Linda!
This is such a hard place to be, I'm with you--it sucks. A lot of times my business decisions feel like this and I have to look the other way at people's rude behavior because I need the eggs. Lol. Anyway, sorry I have nothing better to contribute here. So glad you stopped by :)
ReplyDeleteMary Jo
I'm reading this post and saying in my head, "I REFUSE TO BE TEAM MOM". I'm got my "no" all practiced out, but I'm not prepared if someone won't take no for an answer.
ReplyDelete