It’s Just “Caddy Shack” To Me

 Decisions. Decisions!

This was my fourth, and possibly last, week smacking that little white sucker all over freaking place, then back again. Plain and simple, I stink at golf. Maybe I’d be a little better if I tried harder, but I don’t believe I have the desire (or the skill?).

Let’s weigh it out, shall we?

Pros:

-       Breathtaking mornings spent outside walking hills

-       3 hours knocking around with two very close friends talking all kinds of crazy s#$t

-       Swearing slides right by

-       Bar Cheese on Ritz Crackers at the Halfway House plus hot coffee ALWAYS equals a breakfast of champions

-       Using my clubs to practice the baton twirling learned at summer camp when young

-       Working on the tan albeit causing strange lines

-       Easy to say, “Hole over! Give me a 10.”

-       Cute caddies

Cons:

-       Don’t really care for the sport

-       Friends give me sad puppy dog eyes when I say “but I just don’t wanna.”

-       Sucks to suck

-       Clothes are not attractive, AND no one looks really good in them except “Cookie” who’s a size 2 and wears short skirts (she looks good)

-       And don’t get me started on the U-G-L-Y SHOES

-       Takes up way too much time

-       Diminishes my math skills. I can subtract 5 from 9 yet “How many more holes?”

-       Makes people crabby and whine or maybe just me

-       IT IS NOT EXERCISE

-       Elicits an unfocused feeling when in reality focus is just fine

-       Not a beach but too much water and sand

-       Balls act as water seeking missiles, see above

Did I already mention I totally suck?

And if you love this sport, more power to you. I do not share your view.