DESPERATION
You’re gone only moments.
My chest is in excruciating pain, heart attack?
What am I feeling?
I want you 24 hours a day.
I won’t shower or sleep.
I must always touch
you.
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So I've felt this way before and it one of the most painful feelings in the world! Has anyone else?
I can't lie, I haven't. I am much more reserved ... I find living in that realm of the passionate terrifying. =)
ReplyDeleteBut I love this entry.
It was terrifying, Karen, to the point it hurt. Lasted several years (when I was in college and a bit after) but wasn't the well rounded love I needed in my life long term. Thanks for reading.
DeleteNot for a long, long time. True love can start passionate and grow into a calmer love - love still the same. :) Thanks for sharing this
ReplyDeletePurple Moose! I tried several times to leave a comment on your post without success (had the same problem with a few others). I loved your story but the picture even more. 43 years is an awesome accomplishment in the eyes of someone married a measly 23.
DeleteIt was a point in time relationship for me. The real one came several years later and became the perfect mix of everything. Empty nester now so getting into the routine of our new phase...pretty awesome!
Hi, Gina. For some reason your comment ended up in spam - and that almost never happens on my blog. I have published your comment now. Thank you so much. Relationships take work - a lot (LOT!) of give and take. We are blessed beyond knowing we are blessed. I wish you many more years with your true love. >..<
DeleteThank you, PM!
DeleteMen can get that way as well.
ReplyDeletebooguloo...Thanks for reading. That WAS the problem. We were both feelin' the same and it got in the way of something important...college!
DeleteI used to have only relationships in my head, when I'd obsess over some guy friend who had zero interest in me. That realization was so crushing. That the people I wanted didn't want me in the way I wanted them, that I started holding back the little bit of myself I had been extending past my walls. I was doing it to myself mind - it wasn't like these people were setting me up at all. I just fixated and had in-head relationships.
ReplyDeleteAnd then I met Scott.
And I realized he wanted me in exactly the same way I wanted him.
And holy shit all that stuff just lit on fire and came pouring out, and it was just exactly like what you describe above.
The guy above and I were equally obsessed with each other to the point of total distraction...college classes and grades. We couldn't stop it at the time. After I graduated leaving him there to finish up, I began to realize what was healthy for me and what wasn't plus I didn't want to be a mom anymore. I was only 22. Heart wrenching end to this one.
DeleteThen, three years later, along came my Scott (really his name) and I realized so much more was possible in a relationship which included the crazy love too! 23 years later, we're empty nesters and sitting with a glass of wine mulling over all the possibilities yet again!
Always love hearing form you!
I think the only time I felt something close to this was when I was new mother leaving my baby with a sitter for the first time - especially the showering and sleeping part.
ReplyDeleteYes, infants make sleeping and showering nearly impossible! Leaving the baby for a night out doesn't always equal a relaxing night out. Thanks for reading.
DeleteYes, I have felt this. It didn't end very well, but I'm not sure I'd ever want to forget the rush.
ReplyDeleteThis person will forever hold a special place in my heart and he knows that. Wouldn't trade those three years for the world just glad that's not my life now. Certainly won't EVER forget!
DeleteOh absolutely. It was a rush then, but I think I don't miss it.
ReplyDeleteRush is a great word for it, Amelia. Sometimes I do miss it a little...not the person, but the feeling.
DeleteI have been there. Giving so much of yourself is always such a risk! I loved this!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Rachel! Talk about being vulnerable. At least we both were. What a mess it became. He disappeared for a year and no one, not one person, knew where he was.
DeleteI had a ten-year rollercoaster relationship before I met my husband. Perhaps the more intense you live the emotions the quicker it all blows up in your face...at least that's what I feel about it now. The love I have for my husband is completely different - calmer but it runs deeper and we're not as likely to hurt each other or do foolish things.
ReplyDeleteBut you describe it very well! Thank you for this.
Satu, You're right about two things...the higher the levels of intensity , the larger the blow up AND having a calmer relationship not being as likely to hurt each other or do foolish things. It's taken many years to hone my relationship skills.
DeleteThanks so much for liking my story!
I know a little bit about that kind of fire and passion. I don't know if it ever really dies....
ReplyDeleteIf this person stood before me today, there would certainly be a strong reaction on both sides. So you are correct, it just fades...
DeleteYes, yes I did. And I miss it every day.
ReplyDeleteAt times, I miss it too because the person was really special. Couldn't be my life though. I hope you've found or will find someone that makes the world right for you! Thank you so much for visiting me.
DeleteThank you for joining us for this week's Trifextra Challenge. I like the question you're asking us here, and I've really enjoyed reading the responses. Personally, I can most relate to LucidLotus--Yes, and it's terrible and excruciating, but certainly something unique. Hopefully, right? Thanks again for linking up. Come back on Monday for the new prompt.
ReplyDelete